Too fucking smart

Brandon: mom you don't know how to make cookies do you

Me: sure I do

Brandon: then make me some cookies mom

DAMMIT. Walked right into that.

Sent from my iPhone

Hope

Today is a good day. I have hope!

I'm going to spend a good portion of my lunch break calling doctors until I find one who can see me quick, like yesterday! Time to nip this in the bud before it gets worse. Who am I kidding it is worse, so I guess um time to fix it before it gets impossible.

In other news the other day at work my dad has both boys and they are in the back of the office where the playroom is just screwing around. Suddenly I hear my dad coming down the hall saying:
"I didn't do it"
"I didn't do it"
"Remember I didn't do it"

And then.....

Sigh. So I ask Brandon who drew on his face. His reply was obviously CODI! Finally he admitted he himself had done it. So I ask who colored on Codi's face and papa says "Brandon." But Brandon says "Noooo papa color on Codi's face."

Who do you think I believe...yes, the three year old!

Update

Slow churn Thin Mint ice cream and wine don't taste good together!

Also, it makes me soo sad that Codi is getting to big to fit in his baby towels. Fucking kids, why do they grow up so fast?

Also, I'm tying to change my music weekly so give me feedback. Do you like the tunes I'm playing, do you have suggestions, anything special you would like to hear?

Trying something different

I had plans for today. Switch around the boys rooms, clean the house and go to the park. It all happened even if Codi and I didn't get to go to the park. As you can see, Codi is trying out his new sleeping digs. We will see how this works.

Codis room got moved around. We got rid of his crib (which is now for sale), put in Brandon's old twin bed and made it all cutesy. While I call it Codi's room it is really my guest room for single people.

I made some great Tilapia this weekend. If you want the recipe you can find it here.

I spent the weekend shopping. My cousin let me know about some great sales. I came home with 2 GIANT slabs of pork spare ribs and two tri tips for $40.00. I had to trim the tri tip myself which was good because I was able to leave a lot of fat on for flavor. I know a lot of people are afraid of fat on meat, I'm not because I happen to know it adds flavor during cooking and DUH!!!! You can always cut it off later.

I called my insurance company after my last post and found out there is some sort of glitch in their online system and there are in fact about 20 doctors here in Reno who I can see. I found one I was very interested in seeing. I called left a message and received a call back only to be told he is not accepting patients for therapy. Well what the fuck do you accept patients for? I have a list of doctors to call now. I do not want a woman and I don't want to drive far which greatly decreases my list.

I'm becoming worse. It is obvious now. I'm unhappy. I'm short. I don't give a shit what I'm eating. I'm just not happy. I really hope I can get in with someone soon and get this shit under control because living in my head is getting hard. Currently my house is clean, I have no laundry, no dishes, no clutter nothing (thanks to me and my awesomeness today) and yet I feel overwhelmed, crushed, under pressure and anxious. Sigh!

My husband pushed every fucking button today and currently the thought of being nice to him sounds as appealing as stabbing my toe with needles.

I'm watching a cake show now and I'm wondering why don't I have cake under my bowl of ice cream?

I'm currently in search of a bag. When I was in Vegas I found a bag that I thought I liked. I left it at the store. After a series of events the bag is being sent to me. The problem is, I have found a bag I love more, that is Lucky (I can't find a fucking photo online) that I know I would keep longer. I need a bag. A BIG bag. I need something that keeps everything in one place. I need this because this past month I've lost, shot records, insurance cards, grocery bags, and other important things, like CHECKS AND GIFT CARDS!

I find it amusing that I really don't blog on weekends anymore. When I started this whole thing I used to blog every day. I was worried that if I didn't I would lose readers. Now I'm smart enough to know that I'm good enough to miss a few days and y'all will come back. I also know that Google reader makes it hard for you to forget me. But hey, click my page from your google reader y'all and see new things I've done.

Oh, did I mention, my new page is almost done. Actually, it's done, it works but it is being tweaked. It is beautiful though and one day, you'll click on this page, expect to see this page but you will see my new page with my fancy new link.

Okay well, I've got ice cream to eat and wine to drink and TV to watch because I have done a lot of shit today and I deserve some indulgences!

Brown butter Gnocchi with spinach and pine nuts

Recipe is here

One of those days

I just spent a good 3 minutes in the kitchen at work freaking out because I couldn't remember if my lunch took a minute and a half to microwave or if it was 90 seconds. Yes. It is that kind of day.

Codi has only had two doses of iron but already he is presenting me with some AWESOME black tar diapers, I'm sure he will never do it for Rob though because that's just my luck.

I hate the new year at work. I am posting invoices and half are 2008 the other half 2009. That means that when I'm in 08 and then get an 09 invoice if I don't' think first I'll post it as 01.08.08. Which will then produce A YEARS WORTH OF FINANCE CHARGES FOR A CUSTOMER.

To top it all off, I just pulled up the provider list for my insurance. There is not ONE SINGLE psychiatrist covered on my insurance with in 50 miles of me.

Great day.

Today

Monday we had Codi's evaluation for the whole REFUSING TO EAT INCEDENT. I had prepared myself for the worst. Surely there would be something wrong with my kid. Which, I suppose would be good because then he would be approved for treatment. When we arrived I realized that I did not have my insurance card, which means some doctors office somewhere does. I find that highly irritating because they clearly know they have it and haven't mailed it back. Jerks. I called Rob and had him give me all of the info off his card and filled out the other 100 papers.

Finally two ladies came back and got Codi and me. We went into a room with the cutest wee little table and chairs and sat down on the floor. One lady told me she would concentrate on asking me stuff, while the other lady worked with Codi. Codi walked over to a chair, pulled it out, climbed up and sat down at the table. The lady followed his cue and pulled out her arsenal of things. I answered my questions as best as I could with out being to obvious that I was watching Codi's every move. Suddenly the lady working with Codi stopped and gave the lady talking to me a look and the evaluation was over. The two ladies informed me that Codi was actually advanced for his age, and because of this they couldn’t continue the evaluation and he was not eligible to work with their food people or nutritionists. Their answer to everything was to wean. They said he eats too often to ever actually feel hunger. To start doing longer stretches between feedings and then to eventually drop feeding him for lunch. They also suggested putting him and Brandon in bed together so that Codi would still feel like he was with someone with out smelling breast milk. That was the end of that.

This weekend Rob and I plan to take the queen size guest bed out of Codi’s room and move it into Brandons room. Then put Brandons cute twin bed in Codi’s room. We are also going to move the train set and toy box into Codi’s room, in essence creating a sleeping room and a toy room. I do plan to purchase Brandon’s bedding in queen size so his room stays with it’s theme and he doesn’t feel like he is losing his special bed. The upside is, the bed they are getting is stupidly comfortable.

I took Codi to the doctor today to follow up on his blood work and talk about his cold that won’t go away. Turns out little dude is anemic. Great. I talked to the doctor about weaning and he said he absolutely agrees but to wait to fully skip a meal until he is no longer sick. He did love my idea about extending the amount of time between feedings giving him a chance to be hungry. At the end of our talk I asked him personally about medication I could take for my “crazy.” He said that there is actually a lot I can take and he was realllllly sorry his nurse had told me no so many times. His advice was for me to start seeing someone and find out what medicine they are interested in giving me, then call him personally and he will say yes or no, and make suggestions from there. He also said that it was a great idea to start now because some of the medications will decrease my breast milk, which will help with the weaning.

So. That is where I stand now. I need to find a doctor and start the road to a new life. I’m exciting at the possibility of this all finally happening. I spent over an hour crying to my husband on the couch the other day about EVERYTHING. Seriously I probably talked to him about 20 different things. Between him, and my friends I know that we have all come to a consensus that SHANNON NEEDS HELPS.

Also between talking to Rob and talking to Ginger it is very very clear that I never came out of the last funk. I thought I did but I realize now that I just kind of shoved it down and hoped it would go away. Bottling things up seems to have made them MUCH WORSE.

My hopes are, that talking to someone and getting medicine will finally help this all go away.

Here’s to hoping right?

Come out come out wherever you are

It is delurking day! Yay. So stop by, leave me a comment let me know you are here and I'll come by and repay the favor!

Idiot proof

The other night I went to Babies R Us with Katie. While shopping I noticed the Nuby Sippy cups I had been wanting to try out for Codi. Tossed some in the cart, grabbed some apple juice and other "necessary" items and off we went. 20 minutes later I finally left the parking lot. Why? Because that is how long it took me to open the goddamn fucking packing on the new slut cups. Seriously. I tried everything. I tried chewing through it. Sawing the plastic with my keys. Prying it with my fingers (hello paper cut thanks for that). NOTHING. Finally I bent one of the little handles and that bitch popped out. I was so fucking mad. The whole time I was fussing with it I was on the phone with my mom who clearly thought I was in some sort of bad mood. Which, I WAS BECAUSE HELLO THEY ADULT PROOFED MY FUCKING SIPPY CUP. You know, I get child proofing things, but seriously what is the fucking point of adult proofing shit? I mean, really how much can an adult woman injure herself with a goddamn cup?

In other news I'm baby sitting Katies baby Dylan until April. he is a good baby. Like a really good baby. The only time he ever cries is when he is hungry. And then, whoah, he's a good cryer, tears and all but we barely even see him cry since we have this whole breast milk thawing thing down to a science. We keep water boiling on low and then pour it over the milk baggie in a bowl and about 14 seconds later we have a bottle. Since Dylan wakes up all smiley we usually have plenty of time to make a bottle before he even gets mildly annoyed. Anyway the point is, today I'm home with both of them instead of at work. Why? Because Codi is still being a fucking demon spawn and cries if he can't see me, or if the wind blows wrong. Well today they are in a farting competition. Every ten seconds one of them farts. Codi is adding some flair by doing a squat fart or a kick fart. Either way it stinks and someone bring me a gas mask k! Did I mention that Katies child is a tank? He can go through 20 oz of milk from 11am until 4pm AND STILL BE HUNGRY. We call him tank, or moose. Y'all his thighs are almost as big as mine. I have been watching him for 3 weeks now and I am still not exactly sure how many thigh rolls he has. Either way he is really good and I love watching him...minus the farting part.

(Dylan looks this happy ALL THE TIME PEOPLE)

Oh and then there is this. This is portraits of a SUCKER!

Normally Brandon eats hot lunch at school. This is because his first teacher suggested doing what other kids did so he didn't feel left out. Only, now at his new school all the kids pack lunch. So, this week we have been packing lunch. My mom said she was running to Walmart and asked if I needed anything. I asked for some Strawberries for Brandons lunch. She came home with this.

Yes. Those are tiny bags of tiny marshmallows. They come in regular, strawberry or chocolate. And yes those are tiny bags of Dora cookies and I swear don't even get me started on the fruit roll ups and scooby snacks. This is a dieters nightmare, which I assume is why she came home with 100 calorie packs for me too. She said that Papa and Brandon got a little crazy in the snack isle. A LITTLE CRAZY, MY GOD THEY BOUGHT THE WHOLE DAMN STORE! Can't take those two anywhere, and my mom totally lets them get away with it too!

I for see a lot of fighting going on at lunch time now. I mean seriously, imagine being the kid whose mom packed some shitty sandwich and chips and then looking over into Brandon's lunch box. Today he had organic Bernie O's in his little crayola thermos. Organic milk in his favorite cup. Organic string cheese. Gogurt in cotton candy blue flavor (can't all be organic right). Mini chocolate marshmallows and fresh cut strawberries. This week he has had spaghetti, mini pancakes with syrup for dipping, sliced cheeses, etc. I am dreading the first time some kid sees Dora cookies in Brandon's lunch box and tries to trade him for shitty carrot sticks or something.

And finally. This weeks theme at school was dental hygiene. So for show and tell Brandon brough each of his friends two of his favorite flossers. Pink and orange for girls and blue and green for boys, all bagged up pretty. My mom and him bought and bagged these last night while I stayed home dealing with the SCREAM MONSTER!

I'm very tired because Codi didn't go to bed until 3:20 this morning. Then at 3:27 my goddamn cell phone rang. They left a message that consisted of dead air. I made Rob go get my phone because Codi had just passed out on me. He got it and I was so fucking mad to find out I didn't know who it was and their message was fake. Dude, if you are going to call me at 3:30 in the fucking morning you better be dying or well, DYING! Codi woke up every half hour after that so I'm tired and this post is probably full of grammatical errors.

P.S. while I was typing this Dylan blew out his diaper and pooped all the way up to his armpits (serious) and all over his clothes! That's what I get for saying how good he was.

We're having chicken for dinner

I just posted a couple great chicken recipes over on the food blog. Hop on over and see!