When I was younger, well not younger but basically my whole life until the day I found out I was pregnant with Brandon, I always thought I wanted a girl. I think for no other reason besides the fact that I was VERY GIRLY and always thought I would pass my pink-Barbie-cheerleading-makeup-froofroo passions on to her. Then I got pregnant. Suddenly I knew it was a boy. I wanted a boy. I had no idea what raising a boy would be like but I'll be dammed if I didn't want a boy. Then Brandon came, and I knew right away, in a second that I was meant to have a son. There was no other way for it to be. My first born was to be my boy, my little man, the love of my life.
Being the mom of a boy and having so many people in my life with boys I know a lot of people relate to how I feel. Boys are crazy. They jump and climb and pee standing up. They put stink bugs in their mouthes and squish ants with their pointer fingers. They don't worry about washing their hands and they blow their nose on their shirt. They karate chop and will clothesline a three year old at a park who stole their rock. They get hurt and laugh and try to figure out how to do it again. They hang out with their hand in their diaper and love to be naked showing off their manliness.
Way back when Rob and I DIDN'T EVER WANT MORE KIDS and Brandon was about 5 months old we were sitting at Port of Subs eating lunch one day. There were two boys there about 4 and 5. They were bouncing back and forth between building a fort out of chairs, killing each other and scheming to get in some other kind of trouble. Most people would have been appalled by their behavior, I on the other hand said to Rob, if we ever get to a place where we want another kid, I want another boy. Brandon needs a brother, and accomplice, a partner in crime.
As the months went on I grew to love having a son more and more. I realized the bond between a mom and her son is unbreakable. It's as strong as some peoples bonds with God. I told Rob one day that no matter what happened in life, no matter what happened with he and I, I was so happy because I realized that for the rest of my life I had someone to love me unconditionally. I realize boys get mad at their moms, but no matter what, they always come back to their mommies.
When I found out I was pregnant this time, my first thought was I hope I get another boy so Brandon has a brother. Then I started looking on the baby websites and I was so excited by the girly stuff that for a while I thought Okay maybe I want a girl. How fun to dress her up and stuff right? But then what? When we found out yesterday it was a boy, at first I didn't know what to think. Then I realized I was so happy my son was getting his brother. Brandon was going to get his brother. He was going to teach him to jump and play and vroom vroom and pee naked outside. Then I thought oh shit, Brandon is going to try and teach my 4 month old to jump off the coffee table and just shove him off instead thinking its the same. I started laughing so hard. I was getting what I wanted. I realized, after I dressed up that little girl I wouldn't know what to do with her. I couldn't play big time wrestling with her, and Rob couldn't teach her baseball and then it hit me. I could never be the mom to a girl. I can't wait to watch my boys. They are going to team up against me, and booby trap the house, and pee all over the bathroom floor, and probably beat the shit out of each other and its going to ROCK. I couldn't be happier.
I always thought boys would be so scary. How do you potty train them and what do you do when they get hurt and ummm is my 3 month old really getting a hard on? But now, I giggle so hard when Brandon runs outside, takes his diaper off and waters the lawn. I giggle harder when he tries to bend down and watch himself pee and nearly pees on his head. I giggle when he grabs his pee pee like Michael Jackson, juts his crotch out and says PEE PEE and then pulls on it as though it were Laffy Taffy. I LOVE HAVING A BOY!
I would say the only reason I felt sad is that I knew Rob wanted a girl, so he could understand a little how it felt for me having a boy. You know, mommas boy and daddies girl. Well now I'm going to have two mommas boys and a part of me wonders how I will be able to stay grounded feeling as much love as I'm about to feel. I'm sure the second that little boy comes out Brandon is going to start trying to teach him. I have visions of Brandon shoving the baby across the floor saying, crawl baby crawl.
It's weird. I can't believe someone as girly as me could suddenly go from wanting a princess cheerleader type to wanting a Superman baseball type. I thought of life with girls. Birthday parties full of princess princess fairies and princess. Then I look at Brandon and I see Trucks and fish and Superman, and Elmo, and Batman, and Karate and hell a whole party revolving around bugs and dirt. I get years and years of different costumes, rather then cycling through Disney princesses. I get years of Karate and baseball and football and stitches. I know my son will need stitches some day, but for a girl, that thought would be paralyzing.
I always thought that any mom could be a mom to anyone. But I really feel like I was given the child I was meant to have. I a meant to be a mother to little boys.
So I guess in the end, knowing I'm having another boy, is one of the greatest joys in my life. Whenever I hear someone is pregnant with a baby boy I am so happy for them, I tell them that the best thing in the world is about to happen to them. And now, I get to have the best thing in the world happen to me twice....Lucky? I THINK SO!
