Why you got to mess with my head???

I was driving home today and it really pissed me off because I didn't have my damn camera! I'm coming around the corner and I look at the stop sign and I see a little sign about 5x8 with an arrow on it. Thats it. Just an arrow. Then I drive a little further and there is another fucking arrow. What the fuck were these fucking arrows pointing at??? There was no sign that said garage sale or any kind of sale anywhere. I can't handle it, because I drove the whole way on the road where the signs were and they lead to nothing. Why oh why do people fuck with me????

A parenting first

I took my son to the park today. We were having a great time. He was slowly making his way up the difficult stairs and climbing things to get to the big winding slide. He got to go down a few times and then suddenly about 7 little mean ass rug rats showed up. You know those kids, the ones that show up with no parents and no manners and you can tell from a mile away you are going to want to throw them down the slide.

So this one particular little rat starts climbing backwards up the slide. Which I realize is fine and normal. However when she is about 6 and my little 2 year old is trying to get down the slide IT IS FUCKING RUDE. So I nicely ask her to please stop climbing up the slide so other kids can come down. NOPE. Instead she kept doing it and then jumping over kids while they were coming down. This means my little guy was coming down and she was shoving past him and knocking him down. I asked her again to please stop because it wasn't nice. She told me no. It became clear that what she was trying to do was hog the slide. If she didn't get off the slide to use the stairs then no one else could use it. I was getting pissed and finally I told her if she didn't stop I would go find her mom. She replied, "go ahead but you don't know what she looks like!" I could have freaking killed her right then. I gave up and took Brandon to the smaller slide. She followed and proceeded to lay all the way across the top of the slide so no one at all could get up or down. I was fucking pissed. Suddenly one of her little hooligan friends shoved Brandon and the next thing I knew he had an owwy on his head and was crying. I finally just took him and left before I fucked up that little girls mom! I just don't understand how some little kids can be raised so poorly to ignore what people older then them said. It is just wrong. How should I have handled that situation? Should I have found the mom, left earlier or just thrown the girl of the top of the play structure?

Edited to add: I should also add that this park was at the softball field where my husband was playing in a tournament. There were literally hundreds of people around all who could have been this child's parent. However I was THE ONLY parent who was actually watching their child at the park. This means that actually locating the childs mom would have been near impossible!

In which I think I might just die of heart explosion

Me: Brandon lets go wath daddy play softball

Brandon: No I cuddle mama

Me: Passes out and dies from cuteness

Because I might not brag enough around here

Have I ever told ya'll about my pediatrician? He's amazing. He is so amazing I want him to marry into my family. But more on that later. I have a lot of pregnant friends right now and I keep trying to stress to them the importance of interviewing LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of pediatricians and then interviewing five more because for the next few years they will be the most important part of your childs life...second to your boobies. Anyway here is the little story of how I discovered the most wonderful pediatrician to walk on this earth. (Coming up later this week, the fact that my OBGYN is also the most wonderful best ever on the planet, don't hate me because I'm lucky).

Before Brandon was born I did that thing they tell you to do when you interview pediatricians. I thought I had pretty strict criteria but looking back you really have no way of knowing until the kid comes, unless you can somehow see the doctor with another child.

The first doctor I interviewed was old. His son was taking over the practice and I didn't get to meet his son. That wasn't what worried me. This guy came highly recommended but I knew after five minutes of being in the office that he wasn't right for me. Why you ask? Because when they set me down in the doctors office to interview I looked around while waiting. I noticed about a half inch of dust behind the computer. Then I realized there was in fact a layer of dust on the entire office. Plus the whole place was carpeted. How can you thoroughly clean up vomit or blood or other kiddy messes in carpet. I seriously freaked out and if I didn't have any manners I would have ran out of there faster then a kid chasing an ice cream truck selling free ice cream. I finished the interview, left and promptly scrubbed my hands.

There was one doctor I was really interested in but my insurance said he wasn't taking new patients so I moved on.

The next doctor I interviewed was nice. His office was clean and he seemed to know his shit. I had met him in my baby class and liked him. I decided on this guy.

When Brandon was born his doctor showed up. He did his job and I realized immediately I didn't like him one bit. He circumcised my son and two years later we still have problems with that. My husband threatens to kill this guy at least once every 5 months when we have complications with that. What finally did me in though was when I went in for his 2 week check up. It was then I realized a few things. This was a learning office. That meant there were stupid dumb ass students examining my son. So here my little boy has to be handled by these retards and then has to be re handled by a doctor who was just going to take the retards word for it.

Aside from that I realized his office was located in part of a group. Meaning when you walked in there was about 50 doctors in this area who deal with all ranges of people. That meant the waiting room wasn't just infants and sick babies in another area it was also sick adults, ooogy looking people and all around freakazoids staring at your baby.

I had no idea what to do. I was pissed off at this man, and pissed off that I had picked him.

One day when Brandon was a little over three weeks old I went to get him out of his cradle and noticed he had vomited up massive massive quantities of blood (read: two drops of easter egg pink spit up) and I totally flipped out. I woke up Rob and demanded we take him to the pediatric ER (yeah my city rocks because it even has an ER just for babies with doctors who know just what they are doing). On the way there Rob kept asking me if I was sure this was a serious problem. I screamed at him that our son was BLEEDING INTERNALLY AND COULD BE DYING. By the time we arrived at ER I had regained some mental composure and suddenly the blanket full of blood (Read: with one drop of said pink spit up) that I was going to take to the doctor as proof seemed totally ridiculous and I was very embarrassed. I basically ended up feeling like a big jack ass as we waited for the doctor. Anyway the doctor we got to see turned out to be that doctor I had wanted that wasn't accepting new patients. Seriously people I fell in love a little. Here was this super amazing doctor who not only picked up my son, but actually cradled him in his arm and treated him like a baby, not a weird alien thing. He cuddled him and took total care with him and the best part was he totally reassured me that it was okay that I had freaked out. He explained how I could tell if the bleeding was serious and that more then likely it was a little blood from nursing. He talked to me in soothing tones and gently examined my son and even refastened his diaper correctly (the other doctor left my cold naked son for me to diaper and barely touched him. The second I left I called that doctors office and I was able to find out that he was now accepting new patients. I made an appointment right away to get in for a well check and was so impressed with his office staff. The doctors office was only for kids and was enclosed from all other patients. There was a sick side and a well side and new babies actually got to go behind doors and wait back there where it was extra safe. The staff was amazing and nice and friendly. The doctor was awesome during the exam and i couldn't even believe how amazing this man was. He was a kind of hippy granola cruncher who wore a back pack in stead of a brief case. Wore normal clothes instead of fancy doctor clothes and offered a friendly smile. I immediately decided he needed to marry my aunt who was exactly like him. But then I saw his stupid wedding ring and my hopes were crushed.

I've now been with this doctor for just over two years and he is amazing. His staff returns all of my calls after a half hour at the most. They don't mind when I call asking them stupid ass questions and they are totally great when I call 345 times a day because I am freaking out about nothing at all. They are super amazing and prepared when it comes to giving shots. They have them all lined up with band aids ready so there is no delay between getting his shots.

He doesn't freak out over mile stones like a lot of doctors. In fact before my sons two year check up I totally freaked out because I realized we didn't have any blocks in the house and how on earth would I know if my child could stack blocks. I ran out to the garage and gathered up all the contraband blocks (story for another day) and rushed inside shoving them in front of my son. He stacked up the blocks looked at me like I was a moron and walked off. The next day at the doctors appointment blocks where never even brought up. Instead of going to the doctor and turning it into a variable whose who of my kid is better then yours he was totally relaxed about it. He asked if I had any concerns or if there was anything out of the ordinary. I said No and No and he was satisfied. I started prancing around the room like a peacock with her feathers out saying well he does this and this and this and that and he is soooo awesome. The doctor kind of looked at me like, SO! I was shocked. He asked if my son was happy, I said yeah. He asked if he like to play and I said yeah. He said that was all that mattered. He said that at this age people place to much value on kids being able to count or tell colors and not enough value on just playing with your child and enjoying this time. Suddenly he totally made sense. So what if Brandon was potty trained, could count to ten and knew all his colors, all that really mattered was that so far I was raising a healthy well adjusted child. This doctor made me feel like I was doing a great job as a parent and I loved him for that.

I can't believe I've scored such an amazing doctor and that he will even still be around for my second child because he is so young. One of my favorite things about this doctor is that even though I have very great over priced medical insurance he not only takes that but he will see people on lower insurances or medicaid (or whatever you call it). I hate doctors who won't see people with lower insurances because they don't want that kind of people in their office.

I truly wish you could all drive to Reno so your kids could see my doctor. He is just amazing.

Wahsa washa washa

He promised not to squirt daddy with the hose. Mommy on the other hand..ended up soaked!

bad bad naughty blogger

I feel awful. I am always complaining when people don't blog every day and now look what I've done. I went a whole damn day and didn't blog and, well, I just feel like an asshole. I'm sorry. Please accept these pictures as a peace offering.

OFFICIALLY UPGRADED TO SOCCER MOM I.E. I HAVE TWO KIDS NOW

TaDa my brand new white Yukon. Isn't it sexy.

I feel like the worlds biggest super most awesome Softball mom (yeah sorry not going to use soccer anymore)! I can't even believe how much of a giant I feel like. I always thought I would only have one kid. So I bought a three bedroom house with enough room for one kid and a guest room. I bought a small SUV because I was only going to have one car seat. Then one day I woke up and realized that I was going to have two kids and I was going to need two car seats and two baby rooms. Since the market is shit and I can't sell my house I figured hey why not buy a new car weeeeeeeeeeee!

Anyway even though way back in high school I used to drive a HUGE HUGE lifted 2 door Tahoe I've now spent so much time in mid size cars an SUV's that I feel like a monster in my new Yukon. I feel exactly like that Simpsons episode where Marge gets a new SUV and turns into a giant case of road rage because she was so big.

The new Shannon