Advanced placement

My husband and I have finally figured it out. Brandon is pretty advanced we think. We think this because he started crawling at 4 months, walking at 9 months, talking early and so on. He started feeding himself at a very early age, he's super smart. He does things that surprise me every day. It is because of this, because my son is sooooo advanced that Rob has come up with the following hypothesis.....

My son is going through the terrible twos at one and a half because he is just that advanced!

That has to be it right. Thats why he is so off the wall. He's just advnaced. Which means, when the new baby is born, Brandon will be way passed the terrible twos and will have moved onto the threes even though he's only going to be two and a half.

Right? Makes sense right? RIGHT!!!!!!??????

This one is for Jen

Jen just emailed me about how she can't stop crying now that she is pregnant. I wrote her back and told her she will only get crazier. I decided I would share with all of you an example of how crazy I got during my pregnancy.

One night Rob and I were having one of our pregnancy fights** I think this particular fight was over the cat. So we are arguing. It's a good fight. You know the kind where I go into ugly cry, combined with choking sobbing, mixed with a bit of sniffles, and just for good measure a little of that heaving sob sob sob where you can't catch your breath kind of crying. Oh yeah I was throwing it all out at him. I was trying to explain to him that I couldn't control my words because I was pregnant. Oh yeah, I was totally wearing nothing but a tank top, underwear*** and a huge ass pregnant belly. So we are fighting and he decides he is going to leave. I get pissed and grab his keys, run in the bedroom and hide them. HA! So he decides he will play some Playstation while I am hiding his keys. This is where it gets bad. This is where I'm surprised I'm still married. I walk out into the living room to find him playing SoCom and...

I UNPLUG ALL OF THE CORDS TO HIS PLAY STATION AND THROW THEM AND STORM OUT OF THE ROOM!

Do you hear that noise....That one right there, its the collective Oh no she didn't, from every man on the planet.

At this point I'm lucky he hasn't shot me and left me on the lawn for all the neighbors to see. So I do the only logical thing I can think of. I sit on the bed, wait till I hear the game turn on and run back in the living room, shoot him the meanest look I can and I rip out all of the cords again and throw them at him AGAIN. I storm back out of the room, get in bed and go to sleep satisfied that I have won the battle!

The next morning, Rob was terrified to come with in two feet of me. I however was over the night before and all I wanted to do was cuddle and hug and kiss......He didn't know what in the hell to do with me.



**Pregnancy fights: Fights started by emotional pregnant wife with no purpose of meaning. These are usually about something huge like turning the toilet paper the wrong way or having a smelly fart.
***90% of my fights for some reason take place with me in my underwear!

Mommy

My son started calling me Mommy the other day. I couldn't believe it. I love being called mommy. In fact I couldn't wait to be called that.

I've always been that kind of person who when faced with a problem, knowing it would turn out good, could never take comfort knowing that things were eventually going to be good. Instead I simply stress out beyond reason, and then when things are finally good, I'm so worn down from being stressed I can't enjoy the good.

I'm trying not to feel like that about this pregnancy. I'm really trying to assure myself that even though it is going to be extremely hard having two, that five years from now when they are all grown up, it will be so much easier and sooo worth it. Right now it seems all I can think of are the bad things. I'm terrified that I will have two kids in my bed, when I can barely handle the one. I'm terrified that my little pride and joy Brandon will feel left out or he will act out because he feels like he has been forgotten. I'm afraid that I will have a melt down and lock both of my kids in a closet while I gorge on ice cream (NO I WON'T REALLY DO THIS, i hope). I'm afraid my husband will feel more left out. I'm afraid since things went so great with Brandon that I won't be so lucky this time. What if this baby doesn't latch on right away (Brandon started sucking air when he was a foot away from my boob, because he was so excited to nurse). What if this baby has some health problem. What if I don't like the new baby because I love Brandon so much. What if I don't split my time well? What if this baby is extra calm and Brandon doesn't like it because he is so crazy. What if Brandon hits the baby like he hits the cat, the wall, the door, the dog, people, that thing over there? WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF????? Seriously people I'm so afraid of so much.

I'm extra scared I will become so overwhelmed I won't have anymore time to blog. And then where would you all be!!!!

So, I'm trying something new. I'm trying to take comfort in the fact that even though these next 5 years will probably be the hardest years of my life, that someday it will all be worth it, and the decision to have two will be the best decision I ever made.

And also! What if I learned how to use punctuation and put some question marks after my question marks up there. What then?