WHEN YOU CAN SMELL IT...THATS BAD

Sigh.

This is one of those times I don't know if I want to laugh or cry. It all started at Starbucks when I had to pick up

• A Triple Vente 7 pump sugar free Hazlenut nonfat nuclear hot latte (for dad)
  
• A Grande Caramel frappaccino, WITH caramel sauce and extra syrup BLENDED in but yes I still want the caramel sauce on top to please (for husband)
• A grande double chocolatey chip frappaccino (for cousin)
• A Tall Mocha light frappaccino (for me)
• A vanilla horizon milk (for Brandon)

It is at the point that they hand me the chocolatey chip frappaccino that I begin hearing "mama chogglet chips chogglet chips I hab dat I hab dat." So okay fine. I order him a teeny chocolatey chip frappaccino (there are no coffee in these). He is drinking this and then realizes he can poke his tiny finger inside the lid and scoop out whip cream. I sternly tell him NO FINGERS IN THE WHIP CREAM! We make it home and come inside for a bit and then go back to the car to run and grab a bite to eat. He is in the back seat saying, "no pingers jus dring it, no pingers!" I think awwwww how cute. Then I smell chocolate. I'm not sure if you remember the last time I smelled chocolate..but I knew this couldn't be good. I turn around and his hands seem pretty clean so I ignore it and think maybe it is melting in the cup. Then I turn back around and realize...

H e just had a bath last night. There is no way in hell his hair looked like that when we left the house. Then he says "MAMA I COMB IT!" Yup. He was taking frappaccino out of the cup and "gelling" his hair with it. At first I was mad. But then I looked at him sitting there like nothing had happened and I had to laugh. I grab some food and he starts asking for chiggen. CHIGGEN CHIGGEN CHIGGEN. So I ask if he really wants it and he says no. Then he asks for a fry so I give it to him.

SMACK!

He threw the fry at my head and shouted NO PRENCH PRY! So I ask, does he want chicken, NO, does he want macaroni, NO RONI CHEESE, does he want soup, NO SOUP. Fine. Whatever. We get home, walk in the door and he says, "mama wheres my chiggen, I wanta it chiggen." Grrrrrrrr. So I ask, what about chicken Elmo noodle soup. YES. Okay. So we sit at the table he's happily eating his soup and even eating the noodles with his spoon and I give him a fry and he eats some of that. Then he says, "mama where my noonles go?" He then starts fishing for "noonles" with his hands. Fine whatever as long as he is eating right?

Right?

Oh

So

Wrong

"LOOK MAMA NOONLES I FIND IT, I FIND IT NOONLES"

Lets see if I can balance it like a doggy

Success!

So finally he starts making to big of a mess and I tell him to stop. He grabs some napkins and starts soaking up soup. I ask him for the napkins. Thinking he's in trouble he chucks the soup soaked napkins on my Pergo SPLAT!

Sigh.

Okay Brandon lets go to time out in your room for a bit. I start walking there with him when he plants his feet in the ground and refuses to budge. So I start sliding him (he's in socks on the Pergo) across the floor to his room. He starts giggling. I put him in his room turn around and walk about 4 steps when I hear...giggle giggle he he behind me. Oh okay so apparently since I slid him there he thought this was some kind of game. He wanted to play and wouldn't stop giggling.

At this point I give up! Does anyone know of a circus in need of a clown?