The one where I talk about cardboard.

Before I went to the hospital to have Brandon they starved me. REALLY! I couldn't eat for something like 12 hours before. Did I mention I had Brandon AT 4:21 PM!!!! I was quite cranky and mean by the time they finally tossed a few crackers my way THE NEXT DAY! The point of my blog. Have you ever noticed how when you are starving the smallest things can seem amazing. The crackers they fed me at the hospital that day, by far BEST CRACKERS EVER! Now I have not eaten them again since my stay in the hospital but I'm pretty sure they would taste very similar to cardboard if I did.

When I was on Atkins my cousin and I went on a mission to find any possible way to cheat on the diet. We scoured health food stores, vitamin stores, and store isles we previously balked at. We found some of the most amazing sugar free treats. Yummy Atkins ice cream, sticky sweet rolls for sandwiches, amazing bread for toast, great pre-cooked chicken for our salads and so on. About a year later, I came across some of this stuff. We tried it again and nearly vomited. Were we so starved that a sugar free mint wafer that taste like cat piss really seemed like a delectable treat to us? Apparently!

Then there was my low fat, whole wheat kick. I made all of these meals I considered amazing at the time. A few months after I had given up that diet I made my favorite diet, pita pizza and nearly starved from the small portion and not to mention the taste. It tasted like cardboard with pizza sauce. I had to giggle. Was I so starved from dieting that I thought a whole wheat pita cut in half would suffice as pizza crust, and plain tomato sauce would be the same as real pizza sauce? I was out of my damn mind.

Now I'm actually enjoying my diet. Everything I make now, I make sure others taste or smell. I want to know that a few months down the road I'm not going to become grossed out by the food I have allowed myself to suffice on. So far I've done pretty good. However, I tried to revisit the sugar free low cal ice cream from my Atkins days and really people, I COULD NOT DO IT. Instead I scoured the ice cream until I came up with a compromise Dreyer's Slow Churn Ice Cream. Only the light version is acceptable, the sugar free, is, after all sugar free. It is nice to finally find something that seems naughty to eat and still has the creamy yummy texture of ice cream while tasting like, well, ICE CREAM. I made this wonderful dinner last night. The good thing is it was full of so much actual flavor that I'm not worried it will get boring to me later. Here is what I had (keep in mind I'm a vegetarian and gluten free):

1/2 Cup white beans (80 calories)
2.5 Cloves of garlic, rough chopped (11 calories)
2 Tbsp yellow onion chopped (8 calories)
1 Corn tortilla wamred (70 calories)
1/4 cup green enchilada sauce (10 calories)
1 Tbsp sour cream (30 calories)
1 Tbsp olives (25 calories)
Handfull shredded lettuce (3 calories)
1/3 tomato diced (16 calories)
Tapatio to taste (about 1 calorie)
TOTAL CALORIES ABOUT 254

Saute onions and garlic for 2 minutes. Toss in white beans and heat until they split. Pour in green sauce until heated. Warm tortilla. Place bean mix on top of tortilla and layer with tomatoes, olives, and lettuce. Top with sour cream and tapatio.

I was stuffed after what seemed like such a small meal. Also I was shocked at how much I enjoyed the white beans in a mexican dish instead of the normal black or red beans I use. It is a very reasonable amount of calories, in fact if you still find yourself hungry you could have a small salad or some rice on the side and still come within the range of normal calories for a meal. I was stuffed after eating this, but it was so so good I was actually sad when it was gone. I have some more for lunch today and I really can't wait to eat it.

So the whole point of this blog was me laughing at how your body can convince yourself that things are good when really its complete rubish....like the time I thought I didn't need sugary cereal and could actually live on plain wheat flakes with splenda....silly silly girl...I need cocoa crispies to live!