Me: Alright Brandon time to shoe fly
Brandon: No mom you're a shoe fly
Me: Well then you're a horse fly
Brandon: Well then your a fucking fly
Me: I'm a funky fly
Brandon: No mom your a FUCKING FLY
Me: Ummm. Go tell your daddy that!
10.13.2008
And then there is that
Posted by
misguidedmommy
at
6:09 PM
4
Pieces of assvice
Winter does have a few good qualities
In case you're wondering I'm doing excellent on my diet. I have another month until my one year anniversary I can't wait to see my final weight after a full year. I have been eating excellent and making awesome choices. All but one. There is always one tiny thorn in my side.
LIMITED EDITION HOLIDAY COFFEE CREAMER. Gets me every damn year. Obviously I adjust for the extra calories but still it gets me. Yesterday while at the store picking up some last minute dinner items I saw it.
The other flavors were
You bet your ass I loaded my cart. That just means a little adjusting to my calories for the season but it's worth it to have a nice cup of coffee in the morning. Anyway Caramel Apple HUGE RAVING HIT and if I didn't give a shit about my waist line I would totally just chug this shit straight from the container!
In other news Brandon finally got all of his teeth fixed last week. I never followed up with that situation on here, so here is your follow up. After taking Brandon to the first dentist whose idea was to take him to the hospital and knock him out and give me a ($3,500.00 bill after insurance) I called another dentist (Dr. Trujillo). Brandon loved this dentist from the start. He was so good and the staff was amazing. They were on time, didn't make us wait and handled everything as though they were all parents themselves. They even got Xrays so they could have an accurate picture of what was going on in his head. The other dentist said he was too young to attempt Xrays and said they would just wait till he was knocked out to do it and then ADJUST MY BILL AS NECESSARY. Turns out Brandon had cavities on both the bottom and the top. Again they were in the areas where his teeth are crowded. I explained to Dr. Trujillo what the previous dentist had said about sedating Brandon. He absolutely disagreed. He informed me that if Brandon was 3 and 30 lbs they could do an in office procedure where they gave him a drink and he just kinda went to sleep. He said based on Brandons excellent behavior he saw no reason we couldn't do that. He was shocked the other dentist pushed so hard for hospitalization. After insurance the whole thing would cost $500.00 and only that much because we would split it into two visits, one for the top and one for the bottom. This dentist also said waiting the two short months for Brandon to turn 3 was no problem at all. So we waited, went for the first appointment and things went awesome. He was well behaved and terrific. They sent him away with toys and balloons and light up toothbrushes and now Brandon actually ASKS to please go to the dentist! Moral of the story GET A SECOND OPINION.
Anyway the real point of this story is that Wednesday we went in for Brandon's second appointment. Like last time they sedated him which means he came back totally stoned and sleepy most of the day. So we come to work and Brandon is being kind of babyish as he is when he is sick. I feed Codi and put him down for a nap and Brandon comes over and says the following:
Brandon: Mama I want some Nilk
Me: Okay one sec
Brandon: No mama Nilk from your BOOOOBIE
Me: What!
Brandon: I want Nilk from your boobie
Me: No Brandon that is just for babies
Brandon: Then I wanna be baby
Me: NO!
So there is that. I really had no clue how to react to that. This is the first time he has actually asked for that. Of course I would never ever ever let my 3 year old nurse but I really felt bad for the little guy. I don't expect him to ask again but it still tugged at my heartstrings.
Also following up about last weeks post about the kids eating I made the roasted butternut squash. However things went totally not as I planned as Codi HATED it and Brandon ended up eating an entire quarter in the kitchen while it was still hot enough to burn his mouth. He would take a bite and walk around proclaiming MMMM YUMMMY THIS IS THE BEST EVER? That kid boggles my mind since the last 217 times I made him taste it he replied, "this is yucky," and then proceeded to WIPE OFF HIS TONGUE because the squash was apparently going to burn a hole through his skull.
Brandon has also decided that he wants cereal for every meal. Which is fun for me, since I recently started eating cereal again I get to try new stuff. Last night we came home from the store with my new favorites, Blueberry frosted mini wheats, Kashi Go Lean Crunch, Special K yogurt and berries, and Golden Grahams. Yes. We have an addiction. I forgot how much I love cereal. I love it so much I don't want to eat real meals anymore just like Brandon. This weekend while Rob was gone I was like, "cook dinner or eat cereal." You bet your ass cereal won out! I am all out of my coveted Kashi Strawberry Fields but after buying eleventy billion boxes of other cereal at the store last night I had to make the decision to leave that one behind in favor of tasting the Blueberry Frosted Mini Wheats, which, fuck regular snacks I'm going to portion that shit out in baggies and eat that. It is like eating a really crunchy blueberry muffin that is totally reasonable calorie wise.
Lets see what else?
OOOO last night Rob came home from being gone for three days, and I was finally done with my time of the month, and we weren't living at my moms and we weren't cranky so we thought hey maybe we can finally you know HAVE SEX! About 3 seconds from actually getting to have sex Codi woke up in a bloody screaming fit because I made the goddamn mistake of putting him in his fucking crib. One hour and thirty minutes later I gave up, brought the little shit to bed and told Rob maybe we can try again next year or when the kids turn 18 or something.
Because oh yeah, I'm trying to get Codi in his crib. Which is a really smart thing to do when your kid has 3 FUCKING TEETH COMING IN. Which means he sleeps for about an hour at a time. But, hey, he sleeps in his crib for like an hour. A WHOLE HOUR. Do you know what I can do in an hour? I can lay awake and listen to the noise coming out of my husbands nose that sounds exactly like someone coming up my stairs. Yes that is right, I almost woke up my husband to go get the killer when the killer was really just a case of the evil deviated septum. Also we solved the case of the mystery doorbell ditcher. I never talked about it because come on, someone ringing your doorbell every weekend and then running away really, REALLY! Turns out we had a short in the low voltage wire and the doorbell was just ringing itself! So the whole me freaking out and never leaving my bedroom and being sure we were all gonna die by the crazy doorbell guy, yeah, hee hee, that was a fluke. Now the guy living in my crawl space, well, that is just a whole other story!
And finally. I've been trying to get my husband to eat a tri tip sandwich since the day I met him. He has flat out refused. He came home from a wedding in CA with all his friends this weekend and announced that he ATE A TRI TIP SANDWICH AND IT WAS REALLY REALLY GOOD! I was mildly annoyed and then he said..."I also ate beans and rice." I wanted to fuck his ass up right there because those are three things he totally refuses to eat (white rice excluded) and by refuse I mean I can't even cook it, no he won't taste it stop trying already. But the kicker, the I'm going to junk punch you in your sleep was when he said, "I'm so different when I go to CA."
At least he said it this time, not me. He followed that little gem with, "But no, you still can't make me a tri tip sandwich, it's just not the same as CA they had rolls."
Because you know, I forgot that Nevada doesn't sell dinner rolls.
Fucking rolls.
Men!
In other news Brandon finally got all of his teeth fixed last week. I never followed up with that situation on here, so here is your follow up. After taking Brandon to the first dentist whose idea was to take him to the hospital and knock him out and give me a ($3,500.00 bill after insurance) I called another dentist (Dr. Trujillo). Brandon loved this dentist from the start. He was so good and the staff was amazing. They were on time, didn't make us wait and handled everything as though they were all parents themselves. They even got Xrays so they could have an accurate picture of what was going on in his head. The other dentist said he was too young to attempt Xrays and said they would just wait till he was knocked out to do it and then ADJUST MY BILL AS NECESSARY. Turns out Brandon had cavities on both the bottom and the top. Again they were in the areas where his teeth are crowded. I explained to Dr. Trujillo what the previous dentist had said about sedating Brandon. He absolutely disagreed. He informed me that if Brandon was 3 and 30 lbs they could do an in office procedure where they gave him a drink and he just kinda went to sleep. He said based on Brandons excellent behavior he saw no reason we couldn't do that. He was shocked the other dentist pushed so hard for hospitalization. After insurance the whole thing would cost $500.00 and only that much because we would split it into two visits, one for the top and one for the bottom. This dentist also said waiting the two short months for Brandon to turn 3 was no problem at all. So we waited, went for the first appointment and things went awesome. He was well behaved and terrific. They sent him away with toys and balloons and light up toothbrushes and now Brandon actually ASKS to please go to the dentist! Moral of the story GET A SECOND OPINION.
Anyway the real point of this story is that Wednesday we went in for Brandon's second appointment. Like last time they sedated him which means he came back totally stoned and sleepy most of the day. So we come to work and Brandon is being kind of babyish as he is when he is sick. I feed Codi and put him down for a nap and Brandon comes over and says the following:
Brandon: Mama I want some Nilk
Me: Okay one sec
Brandon: No mama Nilk from your BOOOOBIE
Me: What!
Brandon: I want Nilk from your boobie
Me: No Brandon that is just for babies
Brandon: Then I wanna be baby
Me: NO!
So there is that. I really had no clue how to react to that. This is the first time he has actually asked for that. Of course I would never ever ever let my 3 year old nurse but I really felt bad for the little guy. I don't expect him to ask again but it still tugged at my heartstrings.
Also following up about last weeks post about the kids eating I made the roasted butternut squash. However things went totally not as I planned as Codi HATED it and Brandon ended up eating an entire quarter in the kitchen while it was still hot enough to burn his mouth. He would take a bite and walk around proclaiming MMMM YUMMMY THIS IS THE BEST EVER? That kid boggles my mind since the last 217 times I made him taste it he replied, "this is yucky," and then proceeded to WIPE OFF HIS TONGUE because the squash was apparently going to burn a hole through his skull.
Brandon has also decided that he wants cereal for every meal. Which is fun for me, since I recently started eating cereal again I get to try new stuff. Last night we came home from the store with my new favorites, Blueberry frosted mini wheats, Kashi Go Lean Crunch, Special K yogurt and berries, and Golden Grahams. Yes. We have an addiction. I forgot how much I love cereal. I love it so much I don't want to eat real meals anymore just like Brandon. This weekend while Rob was gone I was like, "cook dinner or eat cereal." You bet your ass cereal won out! I am all out of my coveted Kashi Strawberry Fields but after buying eleventy billion boxes of other cereal at the store last night I had to make the decision to leave that one behind in favor of tasting the Blueberry Frosted Mini Wheats, which, fuck regular snacks I'm going to portion that shit out in baggies and eat that. It is like eating a really crunchy blueberry muffin that is totally reasonable calorie wise.
Lets see what else?
OOOO last night Rob came home from being gone for three days, and I was finally done with my time of the month, and we weren't living at my moms and we weren't cranky so we thought hey maybe we can finally you know HAVE SEX! About 3 seconds from actually getting to have sex Codi woke up in a bloody screaming fit because I made the goddamn mistake of putting him in his fucking crib. One hour and thirty minutes later I gave up, brought the little shit to bed and told Rob maybe we can try again next year or when the kids turn 18 or something.
Because oh yeah, I'm trying to get Codi in his crib. Which is a really smart thing to do when your kid has 3 FUCKING TEETH COMING IN. Which means he sleeps for about an hour at a time. But, hey, he sleeps in his crib for like an hour. A WHOLE HOUR. Do you know what I can do in an hour? I can lay awake and listen to the noise coming out of my husbands nose that sounds exactly like someone coming up my stairs. Yes that is right, I almost woke up my husband to go get the killer when the killer was really just a case of the evil deviated septum. Also we solved the case of the mystery doorbell ditcher. I never talked about it because come on, someone ringing your doorbell every weekend and then running away really, REALLY! Turns out we had a short in the low voltage wire and the doorbell was just ringing itself! So the whole me freaking out and never leaving my bedroom and being sure we were all gonna die by the crazy doorbell guy, yeah, hee hee, that was a fluke. Now the guy living in my crawl space, well, that is just a whole other story!
And finally. I've been trying to get my husband to eat a tri tip sandwich since the day I met him. He has flat out refused. He came home from a wedding in CA with all his friends this weekend and announced that he ATE A TRI TIP SANDWICH AND IT WAS REALLY REALLY GOOD! I was mildly annoyed and then he said..."I also ate beans and rice." I wanted to fuck his ass up right there because those are three things he totally refuses to eat (white rice excluded) and by refuse I mean I can't even cook it, no he won't taste it stop trying already. But the kicker, the I'm going to junk punch you in your sleep was when he said, "I'm so different when I go to CA."
At least he said it this time, not me. He followed that little gem with, "But no, you still can't make me a tri tip sandwich, it's just not the same as CA they had rolls."
Because you know, I forgot that Nevada doesn't sell dinner rolls.
Fucking rolls.
Men!
Posted by
misguidedmommy
at
7:48 AM
6
Pieces of assvice
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