Dark chocolate with mint creme center. Mint Truffle Kisses!!!!!!!
As you all know in 17 short days I will be checking into the hospital to have a baby...
CURRENT UNUSED PURSES
THIS IS MY LIMITED EDITION COACH TOTE BAG. CAN YOU TELL I TAKE GREAT CARE OF IT, IT IS ALLLL MUSHED UP. I BARELY EVER USE THIS ONE!
THIS IS MY LIMITED EDITION COACH SATCHEL. I USE THIS ONE WHEN I WEAR A DRESS. MY HUSBAND GOT IT FOR ONE OF MY BIRTHDAYS
THIS IS MY LIMITED EDITION COACH BUCKET BAG. I HEART THIS BAG. IT IS MY OLD FALL BACK FAVORITE, I THINK I WILL USE IT UNTIL IT FALLS APART.
THIS IS MY MATCHING WALLET THINGY MAYBE ITS CALLED A WRISTLET
MY MATCHING SWING PACK. I GOT THIS WHEN I GOT MARRIED SO I HAD A COACH TO TAKE ON MY HONEYMOON (MY MOM IS A GOOD THINKER)
MY CURRENT COACH. I LOOOOVE THIS PURSE. IT IS THE FIRST DAMN PURSE THEY MADE WITH A FUCKING ACROSS THE BODY STRAP. I COMPLAINED TO THEM IN WRITING FOR YEARS FOR NOT HAVING ONE OF THESE. BEING A MOM I NEEDED A DAMN PURSE THAT WENT OVER MY BODY SO I COULD CARRY MY KID AND MY PURSE. I HAVE TINY SHOULDERS SO OTHER PURSES FALL OFF MY SHOULDER!
MY NEWEST WRISTLET THAT MATCHES MY PURSE. HOLDS MY CHAPSTICK
ONE OF MY TWO MINI SKINNYS, BRANDON HAS RUN OFF WITH THE SECOND ONE, HE THINKS IT IS HIS, THIS HOLDS MY BUSINESS CARDS
THIS IS MY COACH 4X7 AGENDA. THIS IS FOR SALE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THE NEED FOR IT WAS REPLACED WHEN I GOT MY NEW SIDEKICK 3 PHONE WHICH DID WAY MORE THEN THIS THING.
MY STUPID DOONEY THAT I BOUGHT IN A MOMENT OF WEEKNESS THINKING I COULD EVER STRAY FROM COACH...THIS IS FOR SALE.
MY BELOVED KATE SPADE WALLET. IT HOLDS MY DEBIT CARD, CREDIT CARD, ID AND SOME CASH. THIS IS MY MOST FAVORITE PIECE BECAUSE IT JUST FITS RIGHT IN MY PANTS POCKET WHEN I GO OUT OR AM IN A HURRY.
MY DOONEY CHANGE PURSE
There is something about having your birthday when you are 8.5 months pregnant that makes you feel really old. Not because you are about to be a parent but because your body truly feels like it is about to fail you. I can't sleep, my back hurts, my knees hurt, my head hurts, my body is swollen, I'm drooling more then usual.
AND I'M ONLY 26
I can't wait for 40!
I've hesitated to discuss this much as it seems like whenever people talk about stuff like this, or sleeping everything they said immediately turns to shit and they regret it.
Anyway you will all remember when I finally settled on a bag I stopped off at Target to purchase a couple goodies to go inside and one of them was this Spark by Skip Hop Changing Wallet. 
You will remember I thought I was oh so clever because I could put Brandons diapers on one side, Codi's on the other and squish the wipes between it then close it up and wala a great space saver in my diaper bag, and an easy way to grab out the diapers if I didn't want to tote in the whole bag.
Well people big changes have happened!!!! I have made the decision (I am shaking with nervousness as I write this) to remove Brandon's diapers from my diaper bag and instead place the wipes in the little netted area thus making a nice little changing station for Codi. Then if you remember I spoke about having one extra pocket left inside. WELL I decided to use that pocket to store undies for Brandon. YOU READ RIGHT THERE ARE NO DIAPERS FOR BRANDON IN MY DIAPER BAG! I was terrified to make this decision because to me it felt like I was just asking for him to become un=potty trained! So what I did was put extra undies in my bad and an extra pair of sweats for him in case we have an accident. There are actually two diapers for him behind the seat of my car in case of long trips or who knows what (like an emergency poop but no acceptable toilet around).
Now my little Skip hop bag is totally awesome and far more functional. I just hope that publishing that my two year old only wears a pull up at night to bed and not at any other time isn't going to mean that he will suddenly start peeing all over himself and taking dumps on my carpet.
We had taken a bit of hiatus from potty training for a while when he was sick and my husband didn't think he was old enough to train. But we went full blast again a couple weeks ago and so far so good. I hope it works out. We have had a few poopoo accidents but I fully think that is to be expected when he is so newly trained! So wish me luck!
I also wanted to take a second to direct you all to the Spark by Skip Hop brand at Target. The prices are ridiculously affordable and the quality is amazing.
They offer the changing wallet, which I think is genius and the diaper bag is also awesome and as far as I can see it is just as awesome as their overpriced Skip Hop bag on their website. You can buy both of these items for less then the price of a regular Skip Hop bag. So go now to Target, run, fon't walk and pick one up now!
I was driving home today and it really pissed me off because I didn't have my damn camera! I'm coming around the corner and I look at the stop sign and I see a little sign about 5x8 with an arrow on it. Thats it. Just an arrow. Then I drive a little further and there is another fucking arrow. What the fuck were these fucking arrows pointing at??? There was no sign that said garage sale or any kind of sale anywhere. I can't handle it, because I drove the whole way on the road where the signs were and they lead to nothing. Why oh why do people fuck with me????
I took my son to the park today. We were having a great time. He was slowly making his way up the difficult stairs and climbing things to get to the big winding slide. He got to go down a few times and then suddenly about 7 little mean ass rug rats showed up. You know those kids, the ones that show up with no parents and no manners and you can tell from a mile away you are going to want to throw them down the slide.
So this one particular little rat starts climbing backwards up the slide. Which I realize is fine and normal. However when she is about 6 and my little 2 year old is trying to get down the slide IT IS FUCKING RUDE. So I nicely ask her to please stop climbing up the slide so other kids can come down. NOPE. Instead she kept doing it and then jumping over kids while they were coming down. This means my little guy was coming down and she was shoving past him and knocking him down. I asked her again to please stop because it wasn't nice. She told me no. It became clear that what she was trying to do was hog the slide. If she didn't get off the slide to use the stairs then no one else could use it. I was getting pissed and finally I told her if she didn't stop I would go find her mom. She replied, "go ahead but you don't know what she looks like!" I could have freaking killed her right then. I gave up and took Brandon to the smaller slide. She followed and proceeded to lay all the way across the top of the slide so no one at all could get up or down. I was fucking pissed. Suddenly one of her little hooligan friends shoved Brandon and the next thing I knew he had an owwy on his head and was crying. I finally just took him and left before I fucked up that little girls mom! I just don't understand how some little kids can be raised so poorly to ignore what people older then them said. It is just wrong. How should I have handled that situation? Should I have found the mom, left earlier or just thrown the girl of the top of the play structure?
Edited to add: I should also add that this park was at the softball field where my husband was playing in a tournament. There were literally hundreds of people around all who could have been this child's parent. However I was THE ONLY parent who was actually watching their child at the park. This means that actually locating the childs mom would have been near impossible!
Me: Brandon lets go wath daddy play softball
Brandon: No I cuddle mama
Me: Passes out and dies from cuteness
Have I ever told ya'll about my pediatrician? He's amazing. He is so amazing I want him to marry into my family. But more on that later. I have a lot of pregnant friends right now and I keep trying to stress to them the importance of interviewing LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of pediatricians and then interviewing five more because for the next few years they will be the most important part of your childs life...second to your boobies. Anyway here is the little story of how I discovered the most wonderful pediatrician to walk on this earth. (Coming up later this week, the fact that my OBGYN is also the most wonderful best ever on the planet, don't hate me because I'm lucky).
Before Brandon was born I did that thing they tell you to do when you interview pediatricians. I thought I had pretty strict criteria but looking back you really have no way of knowing until the kid comes, unless you can somehow see the doctor with another child.
The first doctor I interviewed was old. His son was taking over the practice and I didn't get to meet his son. That wasn't what worried me. This guy came highly recommended but I knew after five minutes of being in the office that he wasn't right for me. Why you ask? Because when they set me down in the doctors office to interview I looked around while waiting. I noticed about a half inch of dust behind the computer. Then I realized there was in fact a layer of dust on the entire office. Plus the whole place was carpeted. How can you thoroughly clean up vomit or blood or other kiddy messes in carpet. I seriously freaked out and if I didn't have any manners I would have ran out of there faster then a kid chasing an ice cream truck selling free ice cream. I finished the interview, left and promptly scrubbed my hands.
There was one doctor I was really interested in but my insurance said he wasn't taking new patients so I moved on.
The next doctor I interviewed was nice. His office was clean and he seemed to know his shit. I had met him in my baby class and liked him. I decided on this guy.
When Brandon was born his doctor showed up. He did his job and I realized immediately I didn't like him one bit. He circumcised my son and two years later we still have problems with that. My husband threatens to kill this guy at least once every 5 months when we have complications with that. What finally did me in though was when I went in for his 2 week check up. It was then I realized a few things. This was a learning office. That meant there were stupid dumb ass students examining my son. So here my little boy has to be handled by these retards and then has to be re handled by a doctor who was just going to take the retards word for it.
Aside from that I realized his office was located in part of a group. Meaning when you walked in there was about 50 doctors in this area who deal with all ranges of people. That meant the waiting room wasn't just infants and sick babies in another area it was also sick adults, ooogy looking people and all around freakazoids staring at your baby.
I had no idea what to do. I was pissed off at this man, and pissed off that I had picked him.
One day when Brandon was a little over three weeks old I went to get him out of his cradle and noticed he had vomited up massive massive quantities of blood (read: two drops of easter egg pink spit up) and I totally flipped out. I woke up Rob and demanded we take him to the pediatric ER (yeah my city rocks because it even has an ER just for babies with doctors who know just what they are doing). On the way there Rob kept asking me if I was sure this was a serious problem. I screamed at him that our son was BLEEDING INTERNALLY AND COULD BE DYING. By the time we arrived at ER I had regained some mental composure and suddenly the blanket full of blood (Read: with one drop of said pink spit up) that I was going to take to the doctor as proof seemed totally ridiculous and I was very embarrassed. I basically ended up feeling like a big jack ass as we waited for the doctor. Anyway the doctor we got to see turned out to be that doctor I had wanted that wasn't accepting new patients. Seriously people I fell in love a little. Here was this super amazing doctor who not only picked up my son, but actually cradled him in his arm and treated him like a baby, not a weird alien thing. He cuddled him and took total care with him and the best part was he totally reassured me that it was okay that I had freaked out. He explained how I could tell if the bleeding was serious and that more then likely it was a little blood from nursing. He talked to me in soothing tones and gently examined my son and even refastened his diaper correctly (the other doctor left my cold naked son for me to diaper and barely touched him. The second I left I called that doctors office and I was able to find out that he was now accepting new patients. I made an appointment right away to get in for a well check and was so impressed with his office staff. The doctors office was only for kids and was enclosed from all other patients. There was a sick side and a well side and new babies actually got to go behind doors and wait back there where it was extra safe. The staff was amazing and nice and friendly. The doctor was awesome during the exam and i couldn't even believe how amazing this man was. He was a kind of hippy granola cruncher who wore a back pack in stead of a brief case. Wore normal clothes instead of fancy doctor clothes and offered a friendly smile. I immediately decided he needed to marry my aunt who was exactly like him. But then I saw his stupid wedding ring and my hopes were crushed.
I've now been with this doctor for just over two years and he is amazing. His staff returns all of my calls after a half hour at the most. They don't mind when I call asking them stupid ass questions and they are totally great when I call 345 times a day because I am freaking out about nothing at all. They are super amazing and prepared when it comes to giving shots. They have them all lined up with band aids ready so there is no delay between getting his shots.
He doesn't freak out over mile stones like a lot of doctors. In fact before my sons two year check up I totally freaked out because I realized we didn't have any blocks in the house and how on earth would I know if my child could stack blocks. I ran out to the garage and gathered up all the contraband blocks (story for another day) and rushed inside shoving them in front of my son. He stacked up the blocks looked at me like I was a moron and walked off. The next day at the doctors appointment blocks where never even brought up. Instead of going to the doctor and turning it into a variable whose who of my kid is better then yours he was totally relaxed about it. He asked if I had any concerns or if there was anything out of the ordinary. I said No and No and he was satisfied. I started prancing around the room like a peacock with her feathers out saying well he does this and this and this and that and he is soooo awesome. The doctor kind of looked at me like, SO! I was shocked. He asked if my son was happy, I said yeah. He asked if he like to play and I said yeah. He said that was all that mattered. He said that at this age people place to much value on kids being able to count or tell colors and not enough value on just playing with your child and enjoying this time. Suddenly he totally made sense. So what if Brandon was potty trained, could count to ten and knew all his colors, all that really mattered was that so far I was raising a healthy well adjusted child. This doctor made me feel like I was doing a great job as a parent and I loved him for that.
I can't believe I've scored such an amazing doctor and that he will even still be around for my second child because he is so young. One of my favorite things about this doctor is that even though I have very great over priced medical insurance he not only takes that but he will see people on lower insurances or medicaid (or whatever you call it). I hate doctors who won't see people with lower insurances because they don't want that kind of people in their office.
I truly wish you could all drive to Reno so your kids could see my doctor. He is just amazing.
I feel awful. I am always complaining when people don't blog every day and now look what I've done. I went a whole damn day and didn't blog and, well, I just feel like an asshole. I'm sorry. Please accept these pictures as a peace offering.
My son is sitting on the toilet trying to go poop. What makes this funny/gross is that he is leaning back and looking into the toilet trying to watch the poop come out of his butt so he can announce that he has in fact pooped.
Also he is butt naked right now thus making it really cold when his milk cup touches him. Which may be why I'm having to sit here and hold his cup as he drinks.
Also, I might be a genius because it really really pisses off solicitors when I let my two year old answer the phone to them! HAHAHAHA he just talks to them and talks and talks!
This is the saddest ting I think I have seen ever in my whole life.
18 WEEKS
Okay I should have clarified a little better. In fact I would have if I had remembered it all but it has been slowly fading. The guy from numbers playing the piano naked was not a sexual dream. We were all in some kind of class and suddenly he took off with all our money (who knows) then we found him playing piano naked. He was doing it to save something or other and get a story published which he did. All in all it was a weird ass dream! But no it was not IN ANY WAY A SEX DREAM! Get your heads out of the gutters people!
So! Today is that big anniversary that I told you Rob and I acknowledge. You know the one that says I've dealt with him for six years now! We'll a few months ago (we always say happy monthaversary to make fun of those people who actually celebrate months) we turned it into a competition. Who could say happy anniversary on the 23rd of each month first. For a year I was kicking his ass. Then he got his new job waking up before me and he started winning. I was pissed. I even tried deleting the reminder alarm in his cell phone since my phone is always dead the reminder doesn't work for me. I beat him in August because he came home hung over at about 5am from a baseball game in Cali and I heard his alarm go off and went running in the room all triumphant like! He got me again in September. Well since this month is the actual anniversary I was determined to win. So here is a little bit of how Sunday night went..
Shannon: Sits up at 1am jiggles Rob. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY I WIN!!!!!!
Rob: Wrong day dumbass
Shannon: Dammit, whatever good night.
Yeah he made major fun of me yesterday for this. So last night rolls around and this happens..
Shannon: Brilliant lamp speak
Rob: Whatever go to bed
Shannon: WAIT HAPPY ANNIVERSARY I WIN
Rob: No dumbass it's only 10pm on the 22nd
Shannon: Dammit
........
Rob: Sits up at 12:01 shakes me and shouts HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SUCKER
Shannon: DAMMIT I should get an honorary win for all my tries.
Rob: Nope I win loser!!!!!!!!!
Soooo people. Next month we need to come up with a full proof method to have me awake after midnight on the 23rd and somehow come up with a way I will remember I MUST WIN AGAIN PEOPLE!!!!!!!
I have a habit of waking up and talking like an idiot at night. Want an example? Okay here you go.
Shannon: Sits up frantically patting Rob till he wakes up. Babe, whats that?
Rob: Whats what
Shannon: THAT (points at something on night stand)
Rob: Are you serious Shannon that is your lamp
Shannon: Well Duh I know it's a lamp
Shannon: Stares at it for a minute then says, But wait, when did I get a lamp
Rob: Honey are you for reals right now
Shannon: Yeah where did the lamp come from?
Rob: Shannon we've had that lamp since we moved in
Shannon: Rob I know whose lamp that is, I know I'm weird stop picking on me
Rob: Okay babe go to bed
Shannon: I'm not tripping you know, I was just tripping out a little I mean it was only a lamp gosh Rob
See. I make perfect sense huh?
And just to keep my credibility I won't tell you about how I had a dream about that guy from Numb3rs and I really won't tell you about how he was naked playing the piano.
I know I complain a ton about pregnancy. I do it for the humor factor. Don't get me wrong pregnancy is a huge pain in my ass (and back and legs and belly and feet and....) but in reality there are so many rewarding things about pregnancy and the end result. So Kat I thought I would take a few minutes to tell you all the things that are so amazing they will actually make me forget every bad thing about this pregnancy.
My son is currently picking boogers out of his nose. He was simply flicking them at me. However now, he's trying to shove his boogers in my nose. He thinks this is hilarious. I do not!
Worried about waking up on time? Worried you might miss something during the night? Have I got the solution for you! Presenting the brand new CONTAINED BABY ALARM CLOCK! Alarm comes fully loaded with all the features. Alarm comes to you at no extra charge. For the low low price of one broken condom fumbling night in the dark amazing passion filled night with your husband you can have your own contained baby alarm clock. This clock does not come with snooze features and can not be turned off. Imagine your very own worlds most consistent alarm clock. All of your friends will want one! Alarm will sound every hour on the hour. And will guarantee to wake you up at about 4am! Clock can not be programmed it will run on a specifically designed setting for your needs. Alarm will get angry if you lay on your right side or your back or if you get too comfortable. Alarm can not be silenced no matter what you try. Alarm can be delayed sometimes by getting up and shoveling food into your mouth. Keep in mind no matter how much you may have to pee, emptying your bladder will only give contained baby alarm more room to wiggle and wake you up. Alarm version 1.0 will be great training for free upgrade to come later.
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When it came time to buy a new computer I came home with a bright white MacBook. My husband came home with a black MacBook.
When it came time to buy and Ipod I came home with a shiny white one, the hubs of course a back one.
My husband drives a black Tahoe. His plates refer to it being all black. His lights are black, his rims are black everything on the car is black.
Today, I purchased a very very white Yukon.
A friend looked at us today and said, these things seem to define the two of you. There is no gray there is only black and white. We looked at each other and laughed. The two of us could not be more different. More set in our ways. He's black, I'm white and together we form a ying yang rather then combining to make gray.
The colors seem to symbolize so much more. While we both like things clean we have a different version of clean. He likes things tidy, I like them CLEAN. Meaning, I wash my stove while I cook. I clean my tile daily. I like things clean. My husband doesn't mind as long as long as they appear clean. Which seems to be why I would pick a white computer. Something I know I will have to clean. While he picked black. His computer will always appear clean while not really being clean.
He likes things easy. You don't have to do much to a black computer the dirtier it gets the blacker it is right? I like things difficult. I buy a white car, and white Ipod and white computer knowing it will be more work to wipe it down twice weekly. I make things difficult. Although carpet was easier to clean and you just had to run a vacuum across it, I chose hardwood. My thoughts are that I want to see the dirt. I don't want to know its hiding in the folds of the carpet. So while hardwood is more work, and I have to sweep and mop every few days, I like to know what I'm dealing with. That is how I am in life. I need to know all the facts. I need to see it right in front of my face. I need every single detail down to what flavor gum you were chewing when you were walking down the street. I need to be able to see the full mess in front of me. There is no way to hide things on white.
Rob on the other way is vague. He rarely gets details. He barely remembers to ask the names of friends kids. Rob doesn't mind not knowing. He lives his life like his black electronics. You can hide more with black. You can ignore it better. If you can't see it, it's not there.
Our relationship is that way. Black and white. I need to talk everything to death. Rob is content to not fix what isn't broken. If I don't cry or yell he would never know there was a problem. I hate that he doesn't talk things to death. I want my husband to be bright white like my toys. I need to see all the problems, the flaws the issues. My husband wants me to be black. He wants me to live well enough alone.
I can't believe something as simple as buying a new car in a certain color could really make me examine how truly different Rob and I are. The one thing about the two of us though, if anything we are constant. And while we probably both wish their was a little gray in each other, I'm not sure our relationship would ever flourish with gray. Gray is boring.
