Terms of endearment

First of all can I just tell you how annoying it is that Blogger doesn't do a spell check for your blog titles? I suck that bad that I need spell check for the 3-5 little words I post up there.

Anyway I've always been a pretty affectionate person when it comes to men. Meaning most men I speak to I refer to as hon, or dear or something. Now with my female friends this is quite different.

I just sent an email to a friend that started out with, hey ass munch. In my mind this is a very loving term. A few ways I refer to my dear dear friends.

Whore
Slut muffin
Skank bag
Bastard (Actually thats how Katie refers to me)
Jerk (usually what my cousin calls me, no wait, she calls me a jerkus)
Fucker

You get the point. If you are blessed enough to be called one of these names, you should feel a warming sensation in your heart knowing how much I love you. If you are a girl and I refer to you as something like dear, or babe, well then you should know, things between you and, well, they just aren't that serious.

If you are a guy, you can tell you are really loved when I tell you something like, Hey Jason I think you have short mans syndrome. Or you are a whiny cry baby little fucker. Because you know the old saying, if I didn't pick on you anymore it means I don't like you anymore. Which is why when my husband gives me shit, or picks on me, or throws stuff at me, or shoots me with the kitchen sink sprayer, I can rest assured knowing that he still loves me dearly.

How about all of you. Do you have special terms of endearment for the people in your life? Are there things your husband does to show you he still cares? How about things you do to show you still care? Because honestly if I didn't call my cousin an asshole at least once I day, I think she would worry I had stopped loving her. And honestly if Stephanie didn't tell me I was a bitch at least once a week I would surely I must be doing something wrong, and that quite possibly I need to give her just a little more shit to reassure myself her and I are in good standing. And really if I didn't call my son a little shit at least 49985niner times a day he may think I've stopped loving him.

So let me have it. What are your favorite terms of endearment, and your favorite methods of showing love?????