You know your pregnant when

You're brushing your teeth in the shower and you spit only to look down and see that instead of spitting on the floor, your five month pregnant belly has gotten in the way and you are now covered in toothpaste spit. Nice, real classy Shannon!

We women are so feeble and stupid

Ginger wrote a blog recently about wanting to call one of her booty calls. Scott, a 40 something man, left this comment on her page.

The "friend with benefits" really exists? And you didn't fall in love with each other? Wow. I'm jealous. And now I'm off to go hunt for a unicorn. ;-)

I had to laugh. How amusing that he really thinks this way of women. Obviously Scott doesn't understand that us women aren't the love sick puppies we all seem to be. Jen posted recently about how she thought of guys as a challenge. That she wanted to date the undateable and make em fall in love. I had a similar challenge. I wanted to get the ungettable guys or the guys that everyone lusted after, have my way with em and then move on. The greatest most obvious example of this is Kylen. I know that Stephanie wants to make it seem like he's no longer attractive or she doesn't see it, but whatever, its like trying so say Brad Pitt isn't hot anymore because he had kids. Sure. Kylen was a senior when I was a freshman. He was voted most irresistible in his class and let me tell you that says a lot because his senior class, HOOOOT! All the girls wanted him, and they were all stupid enough to think they were going to be the one to tie him down. The one to make him be faithful. Stupid silly little girls. There are some men out there who are just un-tamable. They aren't meant for one woman. And, the same way there are men like that, there are women like that too. I was one of those. Sure you could think you had me in a relationship but I was usually screwing Kylen on the side plus a few other hotties. You see, for me Kylen wasn't a challenge. He wanted me from the moment I made my self known to him. He pursued hard too. He called me at home, he came to my house, he came to my school on my lunch breaks after had graduated. Suddenly the unattainable wanted me. He used to page me with his special code followed by 911. If I didn't answer the 911 got longer. It was amusing to me. I kept him around for a long time, all the while he would watch me have these other relationships. He would tell me he loved me, show up late at night, call me crying and so on. This continued on for almost 7 years, 4 of those years I wasn't even sleeping with him anymore because I was bored with it. He knew that but would still call me for comfort, a friend or whatever. I never loved him, I never tried to get him in a relationship, and I never wanted more. I liked knowing, that if it was the middle of the day and I was bored in English class I could head over to Kylens get a piece grab some food and be back at school in time to meet my boyfriend for our next class.

There are so many guys I could mention, guys that would make girls who went to school with me swoon. Guys who I had wrapped around my finger and no one ever knew. I was good that way. I could walk right past him and ignore his ass at school all the while knowing he was gonna be calling me that night hoping I would meet up with em. I could mention the guys who had girlfriends, the guys who everyone wanted, the guys who even my friends didn't know about. The guys that were just a fleeting moment in my life, who were there just long enough for me to say, yeah I got that and you didn't sorry sweety. I won't mention them though. I won't because a lot of em had girl friends. Girlfriends who thought they were in solid relationships, and the last thing I would ever want to do is crush their pretty picture of their high school loves. Even after high school. I remember a certain sought after guy, who lets just say ended up dating the craziest wacko fuck head in our school, I still remember him approaching me while I was engaged, begging, BEGGING for me to finally settle down and give him a shot. Oooh the look on his face when I flashed my engagement ring. It was the look my son makes when I take away his milk and put him in time out. So like Ginger, I'm going to keep a few names and treasures to myself. However, its safe to say, if your reading this wondering, if I got that one guy, that really hot one, that really unatainable one, the answer is probably yes. I probably made out with him or did more, and I probably had him calling me night and day begging me for more, but I didn't have time for that I had other men to conquer!

What I find the most amusing is that guys don't seem to think women can be this way. It is as though it hurts their fragile egos finding out that they aren't as in control of us as they think. Are guys really so stupid they don't see that it is us, the girls who have the control from day one. Kylen wasn't my only booty call. I had tons. I always had someone to call when I wanted to get laid, and I also always knew, that if you wanted him and couldn't have him, I could, and the difference would be, that I could walk away like it was nothing, while you were pining over him and writing your name plus his = love. Shit love was for pansies. For me, it was the game. For every guy that thought he was playing the game with me, I was playing him twice as hard. Usually I was playing it with his best friend.

I'll never forget this guy Luke. He thought he was king shit of the players. I let him think he had me, let him think I was falling in love, and just when he thought he had won, I went to his best friends house and fucked him, and called Luke in the middle, just to let him know, this girls head wasn't to be fucked with. I've never heard such a big strong football playing studdly player man cry so hard. He called me crying for months. Begging me to work it out. Telling me how in love he was, how I was the only girl he ever wanted to be serious with. I didn't care. I was over him.

It is true not all girls are this way. It is true there are a lot of girls who think if they had sex with a guy once they were in a committed and loving relationship. But I grew up watching my mom have a good ass time after her divorce from my dad. I watched her get the hottest guys make them fall in love and then walk away after she had her fun. I learned, it was much easier to have the control in the relationship then to let some guy think he had me just because we had fucked. You see, I don't even say sex, because it wasn't. It was just mindless fucking or screwing. It was nothing more.

They didn't call me heart breaker for nothing. I've seen more guys cry then most girls have cried themselves. Sure there were guys who broke my heart, but I couldn't have been that in love with em if I was still screwing Kylen and three other guys on the side right. Even if I didn't sleep with them I made out with them. I did just enough to piss off all the girls who had tried so hard then I walked away and left em with a hard on and some ice.

So Scotty my dear, you shouldn't box all of us girls into some neat little box like that. You shouldn't assume that we can't simply have sex for a good time and walk away with no strings attached. You should realize that we have the power. There needs to be two boxes. Those girls and then the girls like me, the ones that are going to walk all over you, get what I want, and toss you aside leaving you to be the crying weeping one wishing he could just get me to love him.

I hope you find your Unicorn Scott because you obviously have no clue about women!