Singled out

Am I the last mom on the planet who does not believe in spanking? I don't understand it. I'm almost afraid to write this blog because I realize no one will really comment on it. I mean what are they going to do post comments on why they think its okay to hit a helpless child? For the most part I feel like I'm being a good mom by making the decision not to spank Brandon, but at the same time I'm feeling like I've alienated myself from the vast majority of the mommy population.

I generally try and be humorous when I write. I'm just not sure how to be humorous about this. I guess the trigger point that brought this on was when I was reading a fellow mom blog and they mentioned spanking. I was thrown off balance for a second. I read the sentence and then I reread it and read it again. I was so shocked that this person I had looked up at for so long had this dirty little secret. All the sudden I felt myself hurting for their child. I have a problem with that. I hurt when I hear about children being hurt. I'm sure this person meant no harm in writing that they spank their child. And of course it is really none of my business and maybe their kid will grow up being far more disciplined then mine but at what cost.

I was spanked two times in my entire life. The first time I was so young that I actually don't have a single other memory from that age, except! the one time my mom spanked me. I remember her spanking me and putting me in her room. I also remember thinking that she must not love me if she had done that. I was so upset that I started destroying everything in her room. She came in and spanked me again. So again I destroyed everything and got very upset. My mom never spanked me again. From memory and knowing what houses I was living in I know that I had to have been no older then three years old.

However, my mom yelled a lot. For me each time she screamed at me it was like a verbal slap in the face. It made me feel like a helpless child. I am still to this day terrified that she will yell at me and I think that no child should feel that way with a parent. I am afraid to go to my mom with problems or when I've made a mistake because I feel like she will yell at me. For me I think spanking a child will create the same fears in them. I don't want Brandon being afraid to come to me. That is why I make such a big effort not to raise my voice at him. But! when I do I have started to pray that someday he will forgive me for losing my temper. I can't imagine the size of prayer you would have to say to receive forgiveness from your child for hitting them.

My husbands dad hit him when he was little. He says it made him disciplined. But I live with him. My husband is closed off and afraid to speak his feelings. He is still afraid of his dad when we visit and he still treats his dad the way a 12 year old does. He is not treated as an equal and I hate it. I never want my son to grow up and bring his child to visit and then cower in front of Rob or be afraid to tell him that he has a tattoo when he is 27 years old or that he bought a new car when he was 26.

Kids should always feel like they are welcome to come and tell you anything with out reprecautions so bad you feel worse then you did or you become afraid to speak your mind.

So tell me moms, am I the last mom out their who cherishes their little innocent soul? Who looks at my 17th month old and still sees the innocent child he was the day he was born. Am I the only mom who understands that if you won't hit your spouse why on earth would you hit your kid?

That is my new challenge for all you spanking families out there. Next time your wife upsets you and behaves badly I think you should smack her. NO! Why not? Why is it okay to punish your child but not your spouse? I once had a guy tell me that his wife was grown and knew right from wrong and that is why he didn't hit her. Okay so if your wife makes a mistake or she burns dinner or she breaks a dish or spills milk on the floor then obviously she doesn't know right from wrong so you should hit her. And ladies when your husband wrecks the car, or gets in trouble at work for having attitude or he forgets to do something you told him, or his friends come over and he gets a little to drunk and a little too loud and is running around enjoying himself, you should hit him because, after all, didn't you just spank your kid last night because they were having a little to much fun running around being loud? Think about it. If you wouldn't hit your grown spouse why are you going to hit your innocent little child who doesn't even know what they have done wrong? Think about it next time you get knots in your stomach because you see your neighbor spank their dog. Are you telling me you value a dogs life more then your own child. Think about it when you realize that some day your kid is going to go to school and hit someone out of anger because you taught them that. And what will you do? Teach them hitting is bad by spanking them. Seems like all you moms have a lot of thinking to do. But most of all imagine how your child feels the moment your hand comes down on their ass. Imaging that all they are thinking is the same thing I thought, "How is it possible this person who claims to love me so much is hurting me right now, I thought you didn't hurt people you love."

I'm not sorry if this blog pisses anyone off. I'm only sorry for your kids. If I lose readers because I wrote this. Oh well.