Things my child did this weekend
- He put a handful of soap in his hair, spiked it up and declared it washed, then..
- He cut his own hair!
- With scissors
- Then he cut holes in my favorite shirt of his
- Again, WITH SCISSORS
- He spent the rest of the weekend declaring he got a haircut
- In an attempt to throw his cupcake outside he instead threw it so it landed half on my wall and half outside
- While I was cleaning cupcake bits off the floor and wall he was busy eating said cupcake off the dirty sandy patio out back
- When I asked him to get off the toilet and get dressed he informed me, "no, I just have more poop in my butt, I not done."
- I walked in to find him flushing his pajama pants down the toilet, then pulling them out and swinging them over his head like a lasso
- I told him no, came back and found him flushing an entire roll of baby wipes down the toilet
- It was time to eat so I gave him some cream of wheat, which he decided to eat with his fingers
- He also decided to smear cream of wheat HEAD TO TOE down his body, across my table and on my chairs
- I laid out his outfit for the day, a cute pair of brown and orange board shorts with a hibiscus flower and a wife beater, he exclaimed to Rob, "I NOT WEAR THESE SHORTS THEY TO FOWERY"
- Followed by, "Dad, these shorts are fower power"
- I then walked in on him flushing a crayon down the toilet. He went to time out, came out and ...
- Flushed another crayon down the toilet while dying of laughter
- Responded to everything Rob told him with SO SO SO SO SO!
- Then he body slammed Codi and made him scream
- Then it was time for another meal. He put a couple bites of food in his mouth, chewed it and then turned his head to the right and spit it about two feet across the floor
- He thought this was hysterical
- I did not
- Finally he looked at me and said, "mama, you a girl, and I'm a guy, I'm a guy and a kid"
- "And mama, you a pincess, mama is a pincess"
I'M EXHAUSTED!
