More things they don't tell you when you have kids

BABIES SPIT UP...IT'S GROSS!!!!

They don't ever tell you, you can give birth to big foot

When your baby comes out it is usually given to you all wrapped in a blanket. This means you really can't see much of them until you unwrap them. Soooo. A looong time passes and I decide I'm going to unwrap Brandon. Imagine my surprise when I find hair. HAIR HAIR EVERYWHERE. I was sooooo stunned because his neck back and arms were nearly black from hair. It cracked me up. If you blow up the picture below and look at his little neck and arms you can see the hair that was left after about 2 weeks. It falls off on its own but it sure is some funny shit when you are a new mom admiring your child for the first time and you are met with HAIR HAIR EVERYWHERE!

Know what else they don't tell you. When you have a boy, their ummm stuff (testicles) are swollen and huge. Which is no big deal or anything, but it is really weird when all of your family keeps shouting out

DUDE YOUR SONS BALLS ARE HUGE!!!!!

Yeah, I heard that for a good two weeks after he was born, since it isn't common knowledge that all little boys come out a little swollen and big. Instead people in my family just thought I created some sort of super human baby with giant balls. Seriously, you can hear people shouting it on all the different video tape of his first day on earth.

YOUR SONS BALLS ARE HUGE!!!!!!

So now those of you having a boy have been warned, you may here this over and over and over that first week!

cough cough

Have you ever noticed that when someone tells you they are sick they always follow it up with a cough?

This cracks me up. There is someone in my office who is sick right now. She talks totally normal all day then picks up the phone, says shes sick, changes into sick voice and takes a deep breath forcing a big cough.

Do you do this? Is this like you have to sneeze with your eyes closed? You can't say you are sick with out a cough?