BIRTHDAY MADNESS

BEFORE THE PARTY PEOPLE GOT THERE. I STARTED OUT WITH 65 BALLOONS BUT THE WIND BLEW ALMOST 40 OF THEM INTO A TREE AND THEY POPPED LIKE FIRE WORKS, ME AND MY PREGGO HORMONES HAD A SMALL BREAK DOWN. LATER BRANDON LET EVER BALLOON GO ONE BY ONE AND THOUGHT IT WAS THE GREATEST TIME EVER. EACH TABLE HAD A BUCKET WITH TOY CARS, TRUCKS, SIDE WALK CHALK, PLAY DOUGH, BALLS AND BUBBLES FOR ALL OF THE KIDS TO PLAY WITH AND TAKE HOME!

THE CAKE BEFORE THE MASS DESTRUCTION

HERE COMES THE BIRTHDAY BOY ON HIS NEW PRESENT FROM GRANDMA AND PAPA..HE DISCOVERED THE SUPER BOOST THEREFOR HAD TO WEAR A HELMET


HE WAS GOING TO FAST WE COULD BARELY CATCH HIM

HIS BEAR CAKE

THIS IS HOW WE EAT CAKE IN OUR FAMILY

AND ONE SLICE IS NEVER ENOUGH

THE PARTY WAS AT A PARK SO OF COURSE WE HAD TO HAVE A PLAY BREAK

AND A SLIDE BREAK

BRANDON SNEAKING A TASTE

SNEAKING A BIGGER TASTE

OH SHIT JUST GIVE ME SOME CAKE

PRESENTS!!!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR THE PARTY DADDY

ALL THE SUDDEN HE WAS OUT. GUESS THE PARTY WAS OVER.

PLAYING WITH ONE OF OUR NEW TOYS...CHECK OUT OUR WATER.

OOOOH TIE DYE WATER


WHATS LEFT OF THE CAKE AFTER BRANDON FED HIMSELF AND THE REST OF THE KIDS FOLLOWED SUITE AND DUG IN!

PHATSO PHOTOS WEEK 24 (JEN I'M KICKING YOUR ASS AT BELLY SHOTS!)

HINT HINT JEN POST A NEW BELLY SHOT DANG IT!

ALSO SEEMS I'VE HAD A FEW COMMENTS ON MY OUTFIT. FIRST TO CLARIFY IT IS A DRESS NOT A SHIRT. I GOT IT AT OLD NAVY, IT IS A MATERNITY DRESS, HOWEVER THEY ALSO HAD IT IN REGULAR STYLE. IT CAME IN A FEW OTHER COLORS, I THINK BLACK AND BROWN. IT IS SOOO SUPER COMFY AND I LOVE IT. I CAN'T FIND IT ONLINE BUT IT MIGHT STILL BE IN STORE. SINCE MINE WAS MATERNITY AND ON SALE AND IT WAS A LESS FAVORED COLOR I DIDN'T PAY MORE THEN $11.99 FOR IT.

Never going to understand it

I had friends whose kids did it, and I didn't understand, and now when my son does it I still don't understand.

WHY DO SOME KIDS THINK THEY HAVE TO STRIP DOWN COMPLETELY NAKED TO GET ON THE POTTY?

Shoes are acceptable though?

A little about my mom

I hesitate to write this sort of stuff but here goes. Although my mom is totally nutty bananas and we totally fight often she was a really good mom. I may have had shit for a dad, but the man my mom remarried totally made up for it. However, in the mom department, mine totally wins.

I have this memory of being about 7 or 8 and my friend was over playing. My mom called me over to her and she gave me this big hug and kiss. I was soooooo embarrassed. We sat there for a minute while she basically just rubbed my head and hugged me. Then she looked at my friend and said, "do you think her mom hugs her every day like me or are not all moms like me? I remember being so jealous of Laura at that minute that her mom wasn't like mine. In fact a vast majority of my friends moms have and never will be like mine. The odd thing is I never seemed to really notice it and understand it till now and really how many times did your mom say, "just wait till you have kids then you'll understand?" Dammit I hate when she is right.

My mom was the kind of mom who almost put her whole life on hold until I turned 18. She was there for me at the drop of a hat for 18 years, and still at 25 my mom is always no less then 5 minutes away (with the exception that she now takes a week to go to burning man, but seriously I'm the first place she stops when she comes home). My mom kisses me every day. She hugs me every day no matter how much I protest hugs (ick). I have always had the best clothes even if she was broke and putting them on lay away, I always had pretty much anything I wanted. This wasn't because my mom was spoiling me, it was because she never had this, and in her mind she was just giving me the life she always wanted. Now, I'm that kind of parent not because I didn't get it, but because thats how I was raised and I don't know how to be any different.

My mom never stopped parenting. She was never sick she was never hurt she was never anything because she had to be a parent. She would come in at night and rub my feet, or braid my hair, or just do something to be touching me and spending a few minutes with me. She loved to give me little manicures and she was at every single game I ever cheered for and at every single dance recital. Granted there were weekends she took me to grandmas (but I looooved seeing my grams and playing with my cousins) and she would have a life for a weekend, but she called me every night and was always there about 5 hours early to pick me up because she missed me so much.

A lot of people think its weird that I rarely make a decision with out consulting my mom. I ask her opinion on everything and that is what 99% of our fights are over, when she disagrees with my opinion on something! However these people don't realize that I don't know any better. Growing up with my mom we were a team. Everything I did was with her or because of her. Now, being a mom, I realize that I would love for my son to come to me for help with decisions, or questions or thoughts or just re-assurement.

Now having a son, my mom and his nanny (who was really my moms house cleaner before that end then fell so in love with Brandon she became useless at cleaning houses but a gosh darn hero in my sons eyes) and my dad are the ONLY people who watch my son. Oddly enough, my son is a good judge of character and those are the people he gravitated towards. I know that had my grandma Keefer still been alive, she would have been the only other person that my son would have clung to, and that was because she was the same mom, she was never less then 100% and she was the same grandma. It makes me so sad knowing that Brandon will never know her. The same way I have trouble explaining just how much my mom loved me, I'll never be able to explain how much my grandma loved me, and vise versa.

This is why people keep yelling at me for picking up Brandon (which I have still not been cleared to do). But people don't understand, I was raised by a woman who was always 100% and I don't know how to be different. My mom was always telling me, I was the best thing she ever did. Again, EMBARRASSED much. I just never understood, but now, NOW I get it. My son is the best thing I've ever done, and I only hope that I can be half the mom that my mom was. She never let me leave the house dirty. My hair was always combed my clothes were clean. In fact I remember a girl in my class putting on my sweater one day and marveling at the smell. I guess not all moms use Downy on their kids clothes. My mom would come to my school and clean out my desk and help me get organized. She cleaned my room and organized my closet but color, season and style. This woman did everything for me. Now, I have no intention of being the same way. However, while doing everything she also taught me how to be self sufficiant. When I moved out I cooked, I cleaned, I did laundry. I had a very organized closet, my stove was always spotless. Now, being married, I'm the same way. I rub Rob's back all the time, my stove is spotless, I drop everything for my husband and he has anything he wants. As far as parenting I've become the same way. My son, in 23 years is going to say, I had the kind of mo who loved me the most in the world. No man ever came between me and my mom even my step dad. It's been widely known, I'm number one and he's number two. For Rob and I it is the same way, our kids will always be first and then each other. For us that works. For Rob and I, being 99% of a parent, well, thats just not going to cut it. I blame my mom totally for now making me the crazy mom I am. I'm now the mom who is going to embarrass her son with hugs and kisses. I'm that mom whose going to cry when he gets hurt at soft ball games, I'm going to punch other moms who heckle him at T-ball. Yeah I'm screwed, I'm going to be that mom, the one who loved her sons the most in the world, its a hard job, but someones gotta do it huh?

Relief

I was at Brandon's birthday party this weekend (which was amazing pics to come) and my husbands ex bosses wife (there is a mouth full) showed up. She is soooooo freaking amazing! Anyway her name is Tami. Tami has ummm 4 kids. 3 are boys and one girl. I think her oldest is probably just turned about 27ish. The thing I love about talking with Tami is she will openly admit that she is closer to her sons then her daughter. She also told me that out of three of her sons, two are a little more masculine and crazy, ie big versions of Brandon and that she feels closer to them. She was the first person to ever totally get it when I said that I was meant to be a mother to boys. In fact, her daughter just had a baby and it's a girl, and she has even been telling her daughter she needs to hurry up and try for a boy.

Some of the relieving things she told me are that twenty something years later she is still her boys hero. She said that if she ever cries (she has a lot of health issues with parents and families right now) that is the only thing that breaks her kids down and makes the boys sad. Then she told me that when they turned about 15 she told them, for the next few years I'm your mom not your friend, BUT when your 22 if I'm still your friend after everything I know I've done a good job. Tami said that all three of her boys always tell her, you know what mom, you're not my friend your my best friend. I needed to hear all of this. I've been so afraid that around 6 Brandon would be done with his mom, and then he would be a teen and mom would really be icky. I was terrified I was losing my son forever after a certain point. Tami let me know, that if you parent right, and you are the best and right kind of mom that will never happen. I see so many of the same traits in me that I see when I look at her. Sure she is way nicer and waaaaaay sweeter but shit she taught kindergarten that already earns her a life time achievement award. However, I can see that we both love our sons with the same insane intense emotion. I can see that she like me, STILL looks at her son and is so overcome with emotion she wants to cry.

I was worried about all of this because so many people say to me, AFTER ABOUT 5 YOUR KIDS ARE NO LONGER CUTE THEIR JUST LITTLE ASSHOLES! I have been cherishing every second of every minute for fear that one day I was going to wake up and not want to bawl my eyes out when I look at Brandon.

I realize that 25 years later my mom still can't go a day with out kissing me and hugging me and telling me I'm her world, but I guess I always assumed my mom was just totally crazy and overly in love with me. I never realized that one day, aside from fearing that Brandon would stop loving me, I also sort of fear that one day, my son is going to think his mom is totally bat shit crazy because she won't stop kissing him and hugging him and telling him he is the best thing she ever did. However, I'd rather him think I loved him too much then not enough right?