How to turn your ass into a slide!

Step 1: Wear silky smooth undies

Step 2: Wear sweats with no drawsting

Step 3: Walk 5 steps

Step 4: Watch as sweats slide down over silky smooth undies and down around your knees.

A how to guide to parenting

HOW TO MAKE YOUR TODDLER HAVE A MELTDOWN IN 4 SECONDS!

We are teaching Brandon to say please and thank you. So usually when he asks for something I hold it back and say, "SAY PLEASE". Then he will choose to say please or not, depending on how bad he want something.

HOWEVER! DO NOT TRY THIS WHILE WITH HOLDING YOUR CHILDS MILK!

I filled up his milk and he was jumping around the kitchen giggling. Then I shut the fridge and said, Brandon say please. That was all it took, he started crying. So I put the milk on the counter, and said, "Honey just say please." He tried to reach the counter and before I knew it he went from giggling to full on melt down. Sobs, tears, screams, body shakes and all. I tried and tried to get him to say please and the more I tried the harder and louder he sobbed. Finally I handed over the milk. He was crying so bad that even after that he was still sniffling and sobbing and no longer wanting to play, he only wanted to cuddle and watch Incredibles with his prized milk.

So. Lesson of the day. DON'T FUCK WITH YOUR CHILD AND HIS MILK!