Cheaty Monkey this is just for you

The most important part of the story is that I was at Dairy Queen ordering a small m&m blizzard. Here is the rest of the story.

I am paying for my order and the PREGNANT girl behind the counter looks at me and says:

Girl: How far along are you?

Shannon: (BEAMS) 5 months

Girl: WOW your huge are you having twins?

Shannon: (About to cry) Ummm no I'm just umm, well this is my second one and they say you show faster, umm well uhhh

Girl: Gosh, my cousin is 9 months pregnant and she isn't even that big

Shannon: Ummm uhhh (now staring at her ice cream embarrassed for being fat and ugly and eating ice cream in public) uhhh

NOW FOR THE ICING ON THE CAKE

Girl: Well she's skinny though, thats probably why she is so small..shes much skinnier then you

Shannon: (Can't talk anymore because of the dagger in her heart) mopes away with her measly small ice cream almost in tears and doesn't even enjoy said ice cream!

FIRST EVER PRODUCT REVIEW

Hi everyone. I have been getting a lot of questions about products that I buy or receive for Brandon so I've decided that I'm going to do my very first ever product review! The first half is regarding items received at Brandon's birthday. They were all purchased at Target, however their website is being a little slut today so I can't find the products anywhere on there. However I was able to find them on Crayola's store website and I will provide the links so you can see prices and what not.

First up is the Ozzie the Octopus Faucet Cover. At first I thought it was just a faucet cover like I already had. After further inspection I discovered it came with three little color tablets. The tablets look similar to the tablets that come with Easter Egg dying kits, however they were a bit bigger. The instructions told me to put Ozzie over the faucet and turn on the water. Then you take the tablets and slip them inside of Ozzies mouth. This was very simple and in fact with some practice I bet even Brandon could do this (however I think he would use the whole jar up at once). The first one I put in appeared to be pink. Then I added a yellow and we made orange. After that I put in blue and I made half red that then morphed from purple to blue causing a really neat tie dye effect. After that I noticed the back of the box gave you a color key showing you that if you put two tablets in you could make different colors. I put in a blue and yellow and made green! Brandon thought this was a blast and had a great time with the colors. He liked that if he put his hand in the water his hand appeared to change colors. Also he liked filling his toys up with all the colors. After all the colors mixed in the bath I was pleased to see that it didn't turn brown or black but a fun shade of purple. The box said this could stain clothing but I used a yellow towel to wipe up and saw no stains at all. The bath drained completely white and clear with no color left behind. Brandon was also color free which I was very happy to discover. I got some of the dye on myself and just wiped it on a rag and it came right off. You couldn't tell that we had been playing in purple water at all. After the bath I wrapped him in a yellow towel and saw no residual color on the towel after wiping him from head to toe to see. I rate this product four and a half out of four stars. The only reason it doesn't get five is because it only came with three tablets and we used those right away. Luckily they sold a separate container of tablets and my friend was nice enough to include them. Here are a couple pics of Brandon enjoying his new toy!

First with just the red, yellow and blue...I liked how the colors stayed separate at first

Then we made green and Brandon and I realllly loved the tie dye part of the water.

These are the Color Dotz refills for Ozzie. I am glad I got these because it allowed me to experiment more with colors. They were also very reasonably priced at only $4.99 for 30 dots. They claim this makes 30 baths but come on I have to play more then one dot per bath so I assume it will probably last me about 10 baths using 3 dots per bath!

We also received these Crayola Bathtub Crayons. I was so excited for these because Brandon is really into coloring right now. I decided that he could only have one crayon per bath until I saw how they worked. The first thing I noticed and liked is that they have a click feature. This meant that I only had to click out so much of the crayon at once and he couldn't just smoosh the shit out of it in one go. We chose the blue crayon and it colored very bright and very nice and smooth. We wrote on both the wall (I do not have a painted wall I have a tile wall so I don't know how it would work on paint), the tub and Brandon himself. All three things worked great. The only down side is they are semi soft so at one point Brandon pushed too hard (more like mashed it into the tub) and the tip broke off. However I attribute this to his force and the fact that he is still new with crayons, and not to the quality of the product. After he broke the tip I clicked it up once so he couldn't break off more and it worked great. For his body the crayon simply washed off when I rubbed my hand over his belly. The rest of the bath I used the washcloth from his bath and one swipe across came perfectly clean as though it was never there. Brandon was even able to use the washcloth and clean the wall off with ease. I liked that because it taught him to clean his mess. The crayon ended up at the bottom of the tub in the water for some time while we played with other toys. I was pleased to see that at the end of the bath, the crayon didn't melt or wash away, rather stayed in one perfect piece. I rate this a five out of five and can't wait until he is old enough to use all of the colors at once.

Finally, this is the Crayola sidewalk paint that I used a few pictures back. I love this product. The product I actually got was package set from Toys R Us for about $9.99. My package came with three colors, Pink, Blue and Yellow. It came with two pieces of chalk also. It was enclosed inside of a neat paint tray with three spots for the base colors and then four spots on top to mix up your own colors. It also came with a brush and a roller. The directions tell you to shake the paint well before pouring. I didn't do that and the paint came out a little lumpy the first time. However after I read the directions and poured it out, it came out a nice consistancy. The colors were very bright and pretty. As the box says the colors get brighter as the paint dries which turned out to be exactly what happened. The roller worked great and allowed me to draw shapes and fill in large spaces at once. The brush also worked wonderful and made it easy to mix up colors. Both the brush and roller seem to be great quality. The brush has now been outside for a full two weeks and they still remain intact. In fact the brush has even spent a few nights in the pool and it still works great. I was worried that if it wasn't rinsed it would cake up and not be usable again. However since the paint is a water based paint, one dunk in the pool and the brush was working perfect. Also the bristles are all still in tact and none seem bent or misshapen. The roller is still working great and rinses out very easily. The box states that to rinse it off your side walk simply hose with water and some mild scrubbing my be necessary. As far as I saw simply spraying it with a spray head hose worked great. The parts that I didn't clean off are still there however they have greatly faded by the sun which leads me to believe they will also easily wash off even after being there for a while. As you can see Brandon and I were covered in paint. All I had to do was get myself wet and the paint practically fell off. I also got some one my bathing suite and it also washed right off and left no trace that it was ever there. Another great feature is that since this is a water based paint, if you find it drying at all in the bottle you can simply add a little water, shake and whala you have new paint. You can buy more paint for $5.99 for a set of all three colors and two more pieces of chalk. Over all I also rate this product a 5 out of 5 because it worked amazing, provided over two hours of fun (that is a long time to hold a two year olds attention) and was good quality!

This is the paint tray, you can also see how bright and vibrant the colors are. They mixed well and made a great orange and green.

There is the roller, he had a great time, as you can see it goes on pretty light, but then look below it dries super bright and pretty.

The colors fully dry.

So this was my first product review, sorry it was so dang long, I just wanted to get caught up, from now on I will do one review at a time.