Hey Brandon

Dear son,
Although I'm excited you are turning into a budding chef I have to ask you to please not involve me in your potions. Fresh baked bread topped with softened real butter is not exactly what I want topping my fresh brewed cup of coffee. Thank you for understanding.

Love you,
Mom

Suspicion

Heidi tagged me for a meme, things that make me suspicious. At first I thought this would be easy because I'm suspicious of everything. But when I sat down and tried to write it, it totally wasn't happening. So here you go the things that make me say hmmmm, or at least the ones I can think of now.

• I have this idea that everyone has to have their house robbed once...therefor I'm basically suspicious anytime I'm alone in my house. ANYTIME!
• Eggs. I mean what exactly are we eating. Is that not a little chicken? I mean when I got pregnant the first ultrasound showed a yolk sack. So when we eat eggs aren't we just eating the equivalent of a 5 week old baby?
• My Tivo. I'm sorry, but there is no tape, no dvd WHERE IN THE FUCK DOES IT RECORD TO??? Same with my damn answering machine. Where do they keep the messages.
• When you think of watching an old movie and suddenly it is on TV. How did they know?????
• Why is it some people are born with good metabolism and I got stuck with this shit? Seriously, most Asian women are tiny no matter what they eat. Why on earth can't science find a way to take that gene from them and implant it into me.
• How exactly did I just grow a little human in my body? This shit weirds me out!
• How do spiders know when your alone? Seriously it seems like spiders only come out when I'm alone.
• What in the hell is inside of area 51? Why why why can't we just know already?
• When the TV in my bedroom turns on at night.
• Why do I always have to pee when it is dark out?
• How does my son know to pick something up 30 seconds before I shout NO DON'T TOUCH THAT?
• How can my son always remember where he hid his milk but he can't remember not to jump on the fucking couch, throw his food and say shit?

K to lazy to link but I tag, Ginger (who is probably suspicious of things that will scare the shit out of me), stephanie, Sara and ummmmmmm Swistle (because I'm sure she is suspicious of some really great shit!)

Goodnight boys

Putting the boys to sleep. Don't you love my uber sexy nursing bra. I feel like a sexy mama in that thing.

I HATE THE BATH!

I hate this

Look I still hate it

Hate it even more now. you can't even move the towel so I can at least pee on you out of defiance? Gee thanks mom!

But at least now I smell all fresh and clean and my hair is soft and fluffy!

Wondering how it went

As some of you may have read I finally figured out how to shave down there before surgery. It looked all soft and baby smooth and when the nurse showed up to shave me she said I had done good enough and decided she didn't have to. All though this time she did have some new fangled electric looking thingy she still wasn't going to use shaving cream or anything. Anyway during the surgery they put some giant sticky cover over my whole stomach and legs so he knew exactly where to cut. When they peeled that off I think half of my skin went with it. However, from my not so stellar shaving techniques and the peeling off of the sticky stuff I now have little white ingrown hair bumps. At first I flipped out thinking I developed a rash then I realized what it was and now I'm just mad. I'm extra mad because I still have a little belly so it still isn't the most accessible area. So now what do I do to fix this? How do I get rid of the bumpies (aside from poking them which provides hours of entertainment) and make sure they go away and everything else grows back in all pretty like?

Today's picture quota

He calls this "petting" baby brother.

He has to touch Codi every time he is in the bassinet. He runs and gets his stool and just stands command.

Brandon whose that? "BABY BROVER"

Daddy and the boys

Pretending to sleep

Mom trying to put both boys to sleep at once. I totally succeeded!

Finally fell asleep. In his cute little Gap velour outfit. I love his old man track suits.

Good night!

Treeem cheese

He picked his breakfast out all on his own.

Thats right, a whole entire tub of cream cheese!

When husbands blame it on the kids

I can't remember if I blogged about this yet. If so, sorry blame it on the Vicodin and the baby haze. Last week I threw up while I was going pee. I caught it in my hand but a couple drops got on the rug. I was going to wash the rug but first I needed to change the bag in the trash and rinse it. The puke was pink so it stood way out. I came back and the puke was gone. I thought I was losing my mind. Later that day I asked Rob if he cleaned the rug and he replied, "what rug"? I was more confused. This is the conversation that took place after that.

Me: That is so weird that the pink spots just disappeared
Rob: That is weird
Me: Wait, you didn't just flip over the rug did you?
Rob: That doesn't sound like something I would do does it
Me: Umm it sounds exactly like something you would do
Rob: Nooooooooooooooo
Me: So you mean to tell me that instead of putting it in the hamper
Rob: Nooooooo maybe you should ask Brandon
Me: I should ask Brandon what YOU did with the floor mat
Rob: Nooo you should ask Brandon I bet he flipped it over.
Me: Our two year old son went in the bathroom and turned over a bathmat and some how managed to put it back perfectly in place?
Rob: Yeah sounds right, but you know you probably shouldn't ask him, I'm sure he wouldn't remember, you know how kids and their memories are.
Me: So no you blame it on your son and then tell me he won't remember
Rob: Well it sounds like something a kid would do
Me: No it sounds like something you would do, no wait you were right, because you are a kid.
Me: So why didn't you just put it in the hamper?
Rob: I dunnno I wanted to eat dinner
Me: AHA so you did do it!

We are so going to have to teach our kids, MONKEY SEE NOT MONKEY DO!

I should also add this post took me over and hour because the vicodin is making it hard to type more then 4 letters at a time and even harder to think of

What would you do...if you had the chance to start it all over?

by Ginger

Since Shannon hasn't banned me from her blog yet (which means she trusts me enough that she knows I wouldn't post those really embarrassing photos of her) and even though her and baby Codi are home and safe, I figured I would still take this opportunity to shamelessly promote my own blog That Kind of Girl.

I've recently been reading a book called True Pleasures: A memoir of a women in Paris by Lucinda Holdforth. To summarize quickly, it is the book of a 40-something women who takes off to Paris after a turning point in her life. She has a background in French literature and wants to further research the allure of femininity of these famous women who lived in Paris and of Paris itself. "Paris is a great beauty. As such it possess all the qualities that one finds in any other great beauty; chic, sexiness, grandeur, arrogance, and the absolute inability and refusal to listen to reason." Fran Lebowitz.

The book covers all sorts of Parisian's, women from the time of Louis XIV to the likes of Gertrude Stein and Coco Channel. The author explores the life, loves and passions of these famous, extraordinary women. Many of these women where not natives of Paris, or France at all. Many of them were Americans, or English. They felt a certain pull from the femininity they found in Paris. There is a common theme among many of the women who the author choose to highlight. The idea that Paris was a place to reinvent yourself...you become the person you always wanted to be. To be the independent lover with her pick of suitors, the powerful business women having a glass of wine at 12 in a cafe, the mistress being supported by her lover or the bohemian intellectual with suitors forming a line down the street.

There are examples of women moving halfway across the world, escaping from lives of a submissive married wife. Escaping the life of being a mother. Escaping a life of persecution or boredom. One of her subjects left a life in the English countryside, with four children, to move to Paris and live the rest of her life out as a single women in Paris in the 18th century. She never looked back and filled the remainder of her life with lovers, suitors and late nights filled with intellectual conversations. Some of the women choose to never have children, some choose to incorporate their children into their lives.

The question arose, after reading this book, if I had the chance, would I give it all up and reinvent myself? Would I choose a life filled with passion, power and intelligent conversation over a life filled with love, children and family?

Would you?

THEY HAVE ARRIVED

I was worried my milk might not come in. However the fact that I need to go buy a new nursing bra somewhere around size EEEEEEEEE probably tells me I will be fine. Damn it sucks having your boobs all up in your chin!