I'M BACK!!!!!!!!

So, Friday night Rob and I had this little fight about his video game and my computer. We came up with this idea that he was going to give up games for a month and I was supposed to give up my computer. Being all stubborn and shit I was all, "sure fine piece of cake sukkah!"

THEN I CAME TO MY SENSES. I realized, aside from having to blog and NEEDING to read blogs, I also had to do rational stuff like balance our checkbook and pay bills from here.

Anyway I decided I would go the whole weekend with out being online. Then I realized that even though he lost his playstation HE SOOOO STILL HAD HIS OWN COMPUTER. I was pretty irritated with that set up! He is a sneaky little sucker! However, no matter how envious I was as he sat playing computer games and Myspacing I kept my end of the deal and didn't touch my computer all weekend, except to get a recipe to make his dinner, which he pre-approved.

But you can believe by this morning my fingers were just itching to tap tap tap away at the keyboard and the moment he was gone I was up and running! I'm full of shit to say but its been so long I have to put it all in order and then you better watch out, the posts will be coming!

See how lazy we can be

Saturday my husband got this bright idea that we should all dress up in our swim trunks, put the spray thingy on the hose and let Brandon chase us around. Wow, does he have good aim. I'm working on a video of him just shooting us full blast point blank and laughing with glee. Finally to convince him to put down the hose I brought us all an Otter Pop. He loved his for about three seconds and then decided he wanted to trade me and taste mine. Then he traded dad, and so on until he had pretty much eaten all three.

Here you go Brandon, try mine

Aww gee thank you

Guess you liked blue better

Here dad try some

Look I can just slurp it out of my hand

This isn't making a mess at all

Yeah dad thanks for the help now I can drink it with both hands

This is some good shit

Double fistin it....this kid is so ours

Oh yeah I want every last drop

How my weekend started out

So I'm just walking along, like seriously, just walking with my plate of spaghetti. You can see from looking at the plate, how the spaghetti just slid from its need little pile right off the side of the plate. However, I didn't trip, stumble or fall, the spaghetti seriously just slid off.This is why I hate having carpet in my dining room!

I mean really, can you give a girl a break. Now my carpet has a lovely stain in a gorgeous shade of pink!

Shhhh

I'm sorry for being MIA this weekend. Something about family time with out the computer. Shhhh I'm technically still grounded. I'll be back live tomorrow with tons of updates and pics.

A WARNING

Last night Big Brother started. I'm just warning you all now YOU WILL HEAR A LOT OF STUFF ABOUT BIG BROTHER...A LOT! Side note to say CHILL TOWN! So I'm apologizing in advance for all of my crazy rants, hateful spews, and probably tears. So far as I can see, I already HATE all the new people and they are all to young, accept the weird girl who packed her bible. And seriously A cheer leader. Come on now. Can they invite anymore young hot skinny drama to this show. I'm pretty sure this years criteria was that you;
Must not be older then 21
Must have ultra salon hair
Must have fake boobs
Must have fake tan
Must look like you belong on the OC
Must look like they are sex addicts!

Of course there is the one token gay guy, and the older mom lady. I think they could have cast a lot better!

So much of this is famliar...And so many of my first time friends are guilty of these

The Evolution of Mom

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes -

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name -

1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.

2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!

Preparing for the Birth -

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette -

1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries -

1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Activities -

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out -

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home -

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

How do I tell him

That he has to wait at least until high school to try out cross dressing?

I consider this cheating

I recently wrote about how competitive my husband and I are at Scrabble. However I did not know it was so bad he would study. Imagine my shock when I walked into the guest bathroom and saw this last night...

No wonder he was laying in bed this morning spelling out Q words to me...Little shit!

MY FIRST AWARD

I just got nominated for my first award. For some reason Christy thinks I deserve The rockin girl blogger award! And I know I rock and all, I just didn't know anyone else agreed with me. Now I feel all warm and squishy inside you know, my first award. Its as though I've finally been validated in the blogger world! After you win this award you are supposed to nominate five more people who you think deserve this award. Here are my five.

1. Ginger from That Kind of Girl: My first reason for nominating her is she is hilarious. My second reason is that it is so fun reading about the single life from her and all of her adventures. Now if only she would post more often. Like I said she is hilarious! So go read her, and comment dammit, let her know she is loved.
   
2. Jen from Lost in Translation: Because seriously she might be a funnier pregnant girl then me. Plus her page comes complete with tons of boobie shots and she also makes me laugh my ass off. Jen too, comment on her also!
   
3. Karla from Untangling Knots: She also makes me laugh my ass off all day. Plus, her son is sooo cute, even with his Fraggle Rock hair!
4. Swistle. She is nominated first and formost because she has like 15 kids and still blogs nearly every day. That is a blogger after my own heart. Plus she has a hilarious outlook on post partum, and parenting, and she even took the time to count diaper usage!
5. Weekday Wisdom: I pick her because she keeps me laughing. Is ultra creative (damn all her spiffy painting) and shes not afraid to talk about her poopoo troubles.

I want to stress that this was hard choosing only five people, because I love all of my readers. I tried to choose people who have maybe not been nominated before, and also people that just really really make me giggle on a daily basis. Now make sure you copy the image as a jpeg or whatever and stick it on your page and then nominate five more people!

100

1. When I have a doctor appointment I purposely wear something light so I will weigh less.
2. This means I also make appointments for 8am when I weigh less
   
3. I don't like drinking water
4. This means I only drink it out of a plastic water bottle or a plastic cup
5. This means at Thanksgiving when everyone at my table is drinking out of my gorgeous glasses, I'll be using my plastic Giants beer cup from a Giants game...I know I'm sexy
6. I'm still laughing that Christy called me graceful on one of her comments
7. I miss cheer leading
8. I don't miss the two worst cheer coaches ever on the planet
9. In high school our first cheer leading coach had to quit because her mom was our school book keeper and smuggled money from the school (oops)
10. I really love mayonnaise
    
11. I wish I was southern like Paula Dean and said all instead of oil
12. One of my all time favorite movies is My father the Hero
13. I have a dirty mind, I just checked my comments and Swistle wants to use her magic fairy wand on me, I'm the only person who can giggle when she says wand...he he wand
14. I love Mushu
15. I purposely don't finish my mushu so I can eat it for breakfast
16. I don't know how to spell mushu
17. I also can't spell definietly, definitly, definitely aha
    
18. Pizza is always better the next morning
19. Breastfeeding gave me pancake boobs
20. I am on a forever mission to achieve a hair color that I can not have (kind of like Rachael Rays)
21. I really really hate skinny people who complain about thighs and love handles
22. Blue cheese mortifies me
23. My husband pointed out last night we've been together almost 6 years
24. THAT IS A REALLY LONG TIME HOLY SHIT
25. I may have farted in class one day while I sneezed and blamed the guy in front of me
26. I may have also farted one time because Jeremy Granata made me laugh so hard
27. There was also the time my cousin was popping my back and pushed down and I farted on her
28. I should never never have admitted that I've farted before
29. I have never farted in front of my husband
30. I can't stop buying expensive purses
31. I hate to carry a purse
32. I own a lot of expensive MAC makeup
33. I don't wear makeup EVER
34. I really need a hair cut
35. I'm always freezing
36. This means my husband is always mad in the summer when I turn the fan off at night
37. I don't like dogs I think they are dirty
38. I'm starting to feel that way about cats
39. I believed my dad for years when he said he had a dog named deeogee, till I realized he meant DOG.
40. I am not good at taking naps I'd rather just get up
41. I always want new dishes in my kitchen, even when I just bought new dishes
42. It really makes me crazy Victorias Secret doesn't sell pretty bras in jumbo wumbo size
43. I really love Hell's Kitchen
44. I only use crushed ice
45. I'm on a mission to find Fragglerock on DVD
46. I hate laundry HATE
47. I am always very amused when I pee after I eat asparagus
48. My husband is not so amused
49. I just realized I must drive to Marie Calanders and buy a whole pie
50. The pie is just for me, back off
51. I can drink off the same cup of cold coffee all day long
52. I won't eat left overs that have milk ever because I won't reheat milk
53. I have been pulled over in the same spot for doing the same thing twice thirteen days apart...I received two identical tickets for this
54. I like to poke my belly button and see whats in it
55. I like to play online card games
56. I can not beat my husband at Scrabble
57. This is my third day of trying to find 100 interesting things about me, I'm sooooo over this list
58. I often wake up dreaming of sandwiches for breakfast
59. Likewise I spend a lot of time dreaming about mayonnaise
    
60. My pregnancy sex dreams..whoah, they are to naughty for even this site
61. I am not allowed to play Scatagories at parties anymore
62. Apparently I yell a little when I think your wrong
63. I am still trying to convince my husband that Ingles is not a high school class that starts with an I
64. If you agree with my husband you are a dumbass too!
65. I had no idea Lids were lingo for hats..huh?
66. I love strawberry Charleston Chews, no one sells them though
67. If you have a strawberry Charleston Chew please go ahead and mail it to me
68. Snickers Ice cream bars are the WORLDS BEST ICE CREAM EVER
69. I can't eat them because my son is allergic to peanuts
70. I can't resist donuts with pink icing on them even if its lunch I will buy it
71. I still don't know what flavor pink icing is....I just like it because its pink....mmmm pink is good
72. When I was little, like 8th grade, I thought the green M&Ms tasted better
73. I looooove those little Sixlets, they are now classified as nostalgic so I can never ever find them
74. I also love Berry Berry Kix and I guess those were discontinued
75. Doesn't matter anyway because I refuse to eat cereal now
76. Cereal is one of my biggest cravings while I've been pregnant
77. I like to pop my hips, I do this by standing on one leg and bending forward, it looks and sounds a lot like I'm farting
78. In fact, I crack my knuckles and toes...VERY OFTEN
79. I think Rob & Big might be one of the most funny shows ever made
80. It drives me nuts that Oprah says Ya so often..ya ya ya ya uggggggggg doesn't she pay people to tell her she says Ya to much?
81. I can play Monopoly for hours on end, accept when I play with my husband...Some people think he and I are a little competitive or something
82. I have a bad habit of saying Yes when I'm excited...But you know I do it while making a fist with my hand and pumping my fist down toward my side (similar to doing the choo choo sign but lower) while almost hissing Yessss
83. I do that in public, like when the waiter tells me I can have my favorite desert
84. I plan what I'm having for desert before I figure out my dinner
85. My husband says my eyes light up like the day my son was born when desert arrives in front of me
86. I consider French Fries to be a perfectly healthy vegetable for me
87. I am now contemplating driving to the Hilton's nostalgic candy store for some Sixlets
88. I can eat salt water taffy as a meal and then have more for desert
89. I wonder if my husband will drive me there now
90. I love the smell of tuna salad but I hate TUNA
91. I hate that clam chowder is always served on a certain day of the week, leaving vegetarians like me to wish I had some soup since restaurants don't serve a vegetarian soup
92. When I was little my cousin and I used to dress up like "grown ups" and take clip boards to department stores and pretend we were grading them on their organizational skills and service
93. I also used to dress up and go to the store with my bra stuffed to the size of EEEEE
94. I believe there is a pretty obvious reason why I didn't have a daughter
95. I used to nurse my cabbage patch (I'm not sure if I already listed that?)
96. I am really grossed out by people who blow their nose in the shower
97. I used to collect rocks when I was little
98. My favorite was the rock that looked like a steak
99. My parents used to get me my own adjoining hotel room and bring my sheets and phone so I felt extra special
100. I think they did this just so they could have sex with each other!