CHAPTER 15 WAIT NOW I HAVE TO WORRY

So the pregnancy progressed and before I knew I started to worry. What if I"m not a good mom. We started taking parenting classes which are a whole chapter in themselves and during these classes they talked about SIDS. OMG I became obsessed what if my baby died of sids. What if I didn't hear him at night. What if someone kidnapped him. What if someone came along and cut him out of my belly (yes I really did think that thanks to my mom telling me that it had happened on TV.) Anyway another thing you should know about me is that I am the queen of "whatifs." I can what if any situation. What if a car hits mine and I didn't put the carseat in the middle and the baby dies because it hit me on the side his seat was on. What if I'm crossing a bridge and a spider gets in the car and bites me and I drive off. Did I mention I am also totally insane. Basically I went into major freak out mode about being a bad mom. Thank god for what to expect when your expecting and Jenny Mccarthy. Both of those books told me that by worrying about not being a good mom I was actually being a good mom. That meant that my natural instincts were kicking in. They said if you didn't think about that stuff it was a bad sign. Hell I was about to become an excellent mother then by their standards. This made it okay to worry that although I do have a state of the art alarm system in my house I don't have an alarm on my crawl space meaning someone could cut a whole in the side of my house and come in through the crawl hole kidnapping my son. HEY It could happen.