SOMEONE REALLLY WANTS TO CRAWL

Note to self

When you are trapped in a small confined space like a tanning bed, with a fan blowing in your face DON'T FART!

The story of the apple

As promised you guys get the good the bad and the ugly about my relationship. However I need to post this disclaimer, JUST BECAUSE ROB AND I HAVE A FIGHT IT DOESN'T MEAN OUR MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE, THAT WE ARE EVEN STILL MAD BY THE TIME I POST THIS, OR THAT WE HAVE PROBLEMS. IT MEANS WE ARE A REAL NORMAL HEALTHY COUPLE WHO FIGHTS. PLEASE DO NOT APPROACH ME ASKING IF I'M OKAY OR IF WE ARE BREAKING UP, OR OFFER MY SUPPORT AS IF I'M CRUSHED, IT IS JUST A FIGHT.

This weekend Rob and I went to California. And as always we got into a few spats here and there. I think the fights were both our faults. Mine for not paying attention to how I approached him, and him for responding meanly. When we got back to Reno softball started for him. I enjoy cooking for him, and on nights he has softball I like to have dinner ready to go so he can eat in time to make it to the game. I had a shit ton to do on Monday so I asked if he could run to the store and I would do the rest of the stuff. I made him a list:
Gala Apples
tomatoes
lunch meat
Pancakes
Real maple syrup
and a few other things

He returned with everything on this list, however neither the apples or tomatoes were organic. I was mad. Here is his defense, I did not write the word organic next to the apples, as I had in other weeks. Here are my defenses:

1. Anyone who reads my blog (he does) knows how stuck up I am about only buying organic when possible.
2. The last three times he went to the store I told him to get organic apples, why would I suddenly change it
3. Every time I eat my apple I message him telling him how much I love my apples..often mentioning I love them because they are organic
4. Last week we went to the store together. I asked him to grab the apples. He came back and said they didn't have the organic gala apples. Rather then buy non organic, I went back to the organic section and picked out two other kinds of apples to try because I hate non organic apples.

So. Those are my main points. But the actual reason I got upset is this. Had he sent me to the store and said he wanted ramen I would have known that he only eats one brand and one flavor. How does this man not know I only eat organic apples? Does he not remember my tirade about how much pesticides are stored in the seeds of an apple. Does he not remember me freaking out because my nanny ate one of MY ORGANIC APPLES? But here is what gets me the most. Had he been at the store shopping for steak for him he would have stood there and looked at
every steak, looked at the color, looked at how much fat was in them and so on. He also would have probably gone and bought the USDA choice steak as opposed to buying the Smiths off brand of steak. He would have done that because it was for HIM. But since he won't eat any of the apples then he didn't care. That is where I got bothered (among other things that were going on, ie, not helping unpack groceries, and cussing at me). I was bothered that since it wasn't for him, it really wasn't important. I'm also really bothered that I've been with him this long and he doesn't know something so simple. There are a lot of people in my life who don't know simple things about me, and it bothers the fuck out of me, but I honestly never expected him to not know something so small. The final reason I was bothered is that he reacted as if it was just a stupid fucking apple.

Here on the left is the stupid fucking organic apple, here on the right is the non organic. In the dark there isn't much different, clearly the non organic is smaller. Lets look at it in the light. The first hugest thing I notice the non organic is covered in all that nasty waxy shit. This greatly effects the flavor of my apple. Next the color. The lighter the gala apple the better tasting. Clearly the non organic apple wasn't grown in as good of light or environment. The non organic was hard, and tasted like celery. It was not juicy and tasted of wax.

I know some of you are thinking, BUT IT IS JUST AN APPLE. I've been trying to lose weight since having Codi. If you are following along you would know I'm just 1 pound shy of losing 40 pounds and just 4 pounds shy of being able to buy new clothes. I have done this by being on a very strict diet. VERY STRICT. I mostly eat the same thing every day. One of the biggest parts of my day is my sliced apple with soy nut butter. It is my sweet treat of the day, and also gives me one serving of fruit and some protein. It is also the ONLY food I look forward to eating every day because I know just how good the apples I buy are. So, even though it's just an apple it makes a large impact on my day.

Each morning I pack Robs lunch. I make him a special sandwich for breakfast and I put as much love as possible in his sandwich because I know, that when he eats it, it will offer him 5 minutes of happiness and relief from his day at work. I buy him Clementine's for his lunch instead of plain oranges because I know they are sweeter and taste better. I also know they are seedless and that makes it easier for him to eat. Last week they were out of Clementine's so I read the label of every organic orange to find something comparable. I picked Navel oranges. They were sweet, had the fewest if any seeds and still sort of small. I put a lot of love and thought into those fucking oranges for him. And I do this with every damn thing I buy him. So, shouldn't I be allowed to expect the same from him. Shouldn't he want to put that much love and thought into the things he buys me?

It doesn't help that we were already arguing about other stuff, and we've both been super stressed about money, and I have zero time to go riding, or work out, but he gets time to play softball twice a week. When I suggested that I possibly make two nights to go to the gym, he replied, thats expensive. Then I said well what if I ride two nights a week and make dinner later. He said, "well what if I get hungry." I was like fuck you can't wait another hour to eat. His responses kind of seemed selfish to me.

I dunno, it's widely known that I've been in a funk and a fog and I can't get out of it, I'm guess then economy and everything else is starting to now take a toll on him, and two grumpy people, well, you've got to expect some fights.

But please rest assured, I still love him, I don't want to leave him, I don't want to move out, I don't consider this a HUGE fight. I'm just cranky over my apples, and to quote that one song, "I just want to be mad for a while". Also, please don't bash him on here. It is perfectly fine to tell me I'm being an asshole or whatever or to take my side or his. Please keep in mind that even though this is MY blog you don't always have to take MY side! Because in the end I am aware, that like a human I do over react, I do get mad over nothing, and that it is just an apple.