The Evolution of Mom
Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:
Your Clothes -
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
The Baby's Name -
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!
Preparing for the Birth -
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette -
1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries -
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Activities -
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out -
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home -
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
7.05.2007
So much of this is famliar...And so many of my first time friends are guilty of these
Posted by
misguidedmommy
at
9:15 PM
7
Pieces of assvice
I consider this cheating
I recently wrote about how competitive my husband and I are at Scrabble. However I did not know it was so bad he would study. Imagine my shock when I walked into the guest bathroom and saw this last night...



No wonder he was laying in bed this morning spelling out Q words to me...Little shit!
Posted by
misguidedmommy
at
3:51 PM
4
Pieces of assvice
MY FIRST AWARD
I just got nominated for my first award. For some reason Christy thinks I deserve The rockin girl blogger award! And I know I rock and all, I just didn't know anyone else agreed with me. Now I feel all warm and squishy inside you know, my first award. Its as though I've finally been validated in the blogger world! After you win this award you are supposed to nominate five more people who you think deserve this award. Here are my five.
- Ginger from That Kind of Girl: My first reason for nominating her is she is hilarious. My second reason is that it is so fun reading about the single life from her and all of her adventures. Now if only she would post more often. Like I said she is hilarious! So go read her, and comment dammit, let her know she is loved.
- Jen from Lost in Translation: Because seriously she might be a funnier pregnant girl then me. Plus her page comes complete with tons of boobie shots and she also makes me laugh my ass off. Jen too, comment on her also!
- Karla from Untangling Knots: She also makes me laugh my ass off all day. Plus, her son is sooo cute, even with his Fraggle Rock hair!
- Swistle. She is nominated first and formost because she has like 15 kids and still blogs nearly every day. That is a blogger after my own heart. Plus she has a hilarious outlook on post partum, and parenting, and she even took the time to count diaper usage!
- Weekday Wisdom: I pick her because she keeps me laughing. Is ultra creative (damn all her spiffy painting) and shes not afraid to talk about her poopoo troubles.
Posted by
misguidedmommy
at
8:23 AM
6
Pieces of assvice
100
- When I have a doctor appointment I purposely wear something light so I will weigh less.
- This means I also make appointments for 8am when I weigh less
- I don't like drinking water
- This means I only drink it out of a plastic water bottle or a plastic cup
- This means at Thanksgiving when everyone at my table is drinking out of my gorgeous glasses, I'll be using my plastic Giants beer cup from a Giants game...I know I'm sexy
- I'm still laughing that Christy called me graceful on one of her comments
- I miss cheer leading
- I don't miss the two worst cheer coaches ever on the planet
- In high school our first cheer leading coach had to quit because her mom was our school book keeper and smuggled money from the school (oops)
- I really love mayonnaise
- I wish I was southern like Paula Dean and said all instead of oil
- One of my all time favorite movies is My father the Hero
- I have a dirty mind, I just checked my comments and Swistle wants to use her magic fairy wand on me, I'm the only person who can giggle when she says wand...he he wand
- I love Mushu
- I purposely don't finish my mushu so I can eat it for breakfast
- I don't know how to spell mushu
- I also can't spell definietly, definitly, definitely aha
- Pizza is always better the next morning
- Breastfeeding gave me pancake boobs
- I am on a forever mission to achieve a hair color that I can not have (kind of like Rachael Rays)
- I really really hate skinny people who complain about thighs and love handles
- Blue cheese mortifies me
- My husband pointed out last night we've been together almost 6 years
- THAT IS A REALLY LONG TIME HOLY SHIT
- I may have farted in class one day while I sneezed and blamed the guy in front of me
- I may have also farted one time because Jeremy Granata made me laugh so hard
- There was also the time my cousin was popping my back and pushed down and I farted on her
- I should never never have admitted that I've farted before
- I have never farted in front of my husband
- I can't stop buying expensive purses
- I hate to carry a purse
- I own a lot of expensive MAC makeup
- I don't wear makeup EVER
- I really need a hair cut
- I'm always freezing
- This means my husband is always mad in the summer when I turn the fan off at night
- I don't like dogs I think they are dirty
- I'm starting to feel that way about cats
- I believed my dad for years when he said he had a dog named deeogee, till I realized he meant DOG.
- I am not good at taking naps I'd rather just get up
- I always want new dishes in my kitchen, even when I just bought new dishes
- It really makes me crazy Victorias Secret doesn't sell pretty bras in jumbo wumbo size
- I really love Hell's Kitchen
- I only use crushed ice
- I'm on a mission to find Fragglerock on DVD
- I hate laundry HATE
- I am always very amused when I pee after I eat asparagus
- My husband is not so amused
- I just realized I must drive to Marie Calanders and buy a whole pie
- The pie is just for me, back off
- I can drink off the same cup of cold coffee all day long
- I won't eat left overs that have milk ever because I won't reheat milk
- I have been pulled over in the same spot for doing the same thing twice thirteen days apart...I received two identical tickets for this
- I like to poke my belly button and see whats in it
- I like to play online card games
- I can not beat my husband at Scrabble
- This is my third day of trying to find 100 interesting things about me, I'm sooooo over this list
- I often wake up dreaming of sandwiches for breakfast
- Likewise I spend a lot of time dreaming about mayonnaise
- My pregnancy sex dreams..whoah, they are to naughty for even this site
- I am not allowed to play Scatagories at parties anymore
- Apparently I yell a little when I think your wrong
- I am still trying to convince my husband that Ingles is not a high school class that starts with an I
- If you agree with my husband you are a dumbass too!
- I had no idea Lids were lingo for hats..huh?
- I love strawberry Charleston Chews, no one sells them though
- If you have a strawberry Charleston Chew please go ahead and mail it to me
- Snickers Ice cream bars are the WORLDS BEST ICE CREAM EVER
- I can't eat them because my son is allergic to peanuts
- I can't resist donuts with pink icing on them even if its lunch I will buy it
- I still don't know what flavor pink icing is....I just like it because its pink....mmmm pink is good
- When I was little, like 8th grade, I thought the green M&Ms tasted better
- I looooove those little Sixlets, they are now classified as nostalgic so I can never ever find them
- I also love Berry Berry Kix and I guess those were discontinued
- Doesn't matter anyway because I refuse to eat cereal now
- Cereal is one of my biggest cravings while I've been pregnant
- I like to pop my hips, I do this by standing on one leg and bending forward, it looks and sounds a lot like I'm farting
- In fact, I crack my knuckles and toes...VERY OFTEN
- I think Rob & Big might be one of the most funny shows ever made
- It drives me nuts that Oprah says Ya so often..ya ya ya ya uggggggggg doesn't she pay people to tell her she says Ya to much?
- I can play Monopoly for hours on end, accept when I play with my husband...Some people think he and I are a little competitive or something
- I have a bad habit of saying Yes when I'm excited...But you know I do it while making a fist with my hand and pumping my fist down toward my side (similar to doing the choo choo sign but lower) while almost hissing Yessss
- I do that in public, like when the waiter tells me I can have my favorite desert
- I plan what I'm having for desert before I figure out my dinner
- My husband says my eyes light up like the day my son was born when desert arrives in front of me
- I consider French Fries to be a perfectly healthy vegetable for me
- I am now contemplating driving to the Hilton's nostalgic candy store for some Sixlets
- I can eat salt water taffy as a meal and then have more for desert
- I wonder if my husband will drive me there now
- I love the smell of tuna salad but I hate TUNA
- I hate that clam chowder is always served on a certain day of the week, leaving vegetarians like me to wish I had some soup since restaurants don't serve a vegetarian soup
- When I was little my cousin and I used to dress up like "grown ups" and take clip boards to department stores and pretend we were grading them on their organizational skills and service
- I also used to dress up and go to the store with my bra stuffed to the size of EEEEE
- I believe there is a pretty obvious reason why I didn't have a daughter
- I used to nurse my cabbage patch (I'm not sure if I already listed that?)
- I am really grossed out by people who blow their nose in the shower
- I used to collect rocks when I was little
- My favorite was the rock that looked like a steak
- My parents used to get me my own adjoining hotel room and bring my sheets and phone so I felt extra special
- I think they did this just so they could have sex with each other!
Posted by
misguidedmommy
at
8:23 AM
9
Pieces of assvice
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