CHAPTER 14 THE CAT FIGHT

My husband likes to drink. No he's not an alcoholic he just thinks he is still 21 and loves to party with his friends. Needless to say he is usually very shy. Not so true when he is drunk. He will talk and do wierd stuff and yell and jump around with his friends like a bunch of drunk idiots at a SF Giants game. He is very amusing to watch as this is not a side of him I normally see. Anyway another thing that happens when he drinks is that he is not affraid to talk about stuff. He will actually tell you what he is feeling. But the best part of it all is that when he wakes up the next day he usually has no idea what he said. So one night he has a few to drink and since I'm pregnant I am dead sober. So he is eating some chicken I believe and I say to make sure he puts it in the garage trash since my cat is notorious for getting stuff out of our trash. In fact he was notorious for just dumping over the whole trast. Some how this conversation turns to "You are going to love your cat more then your baby." This upsets me. The way I saw it my cat was my baby. I know I know a lot of you are saying ITS JUST A CAT. But, if you know me one thing you know is for the most part animals are a bigger part of my heart then humans. I cried for two days over a baby bunny that I had had for a bout 4 hours when it died. Anyway my logic was that this cat was like my kid. To be honost if someone told me now that if I had a second child I would love them as much as my first I would laugh at them. I am not programmed that way. I am not made to think of anything but the current. My husband on the other hand started to love the baby the day he found out I was pregnant. I tried to explain this to him but he didn't get it. To him he thought since I was carrying this thing I should understand the most. I didn't. I"m not that person. That person who just gets attached right away. Maybe part of me was thinking I would lose it or maybe part of me was thinking something would be wrong with him and he wouldnt make it. What ever it was I still though I was going to love my cat more. So we got into it and of course I cried. In fact he was still ranting as he passed out in bed. I think he fell asleep in the middle of a sentance. The next morning he had no clue that any of this had happened but I made sure to fill him in. I tried to think about it all. I tried to figure out if maybe I was wrong. If I needed to change my feelings. The problem was I didn't know how. All I could think of was this poor little cat who had no clue what was going on and would never understand becoming second in my life. (Yes at this point I think I cared more about my cat then my husband. The thing is once I do form a bong it is iron clad. There is no getting over it. Ask me how many of my previous relationships I still care about. So to me it made sense. The cat was there first there for he won.