If your looking for the fashion show its not here keep looking

I finally got my clothes last night from Old Navy. I was so excited. Then I pulled em all out and whoah holy huge clothes batman. I ordered everything in my normal size and its as though Old Navy thinks pregnant women enjoy walking around in giant tent clothes! I started taking pictures but it all looked so silly I just gave up.

THESE ENDED UP LOOKING RIDICULOUS...FIT WEIRD AND NOT CUTE AT ALL.

THEY ONLY HAD THIS IN XL WHICH I DIDNT THINK WOULD BE A PROBLEM. BIG MISTAKE DAMN THING WENT DOWN TO MY KNEES AND LOOKED LIKE I WAS WEARING A BLACK PLASTIC BAG.

THIS THING...THE THING I WANTED MOST SERIOUSLY I'M PRETTY SURE IS ACTUALLY A DRESS. IT IS NOT EVEN SORT OF FLATTERING. IT WAS AWFUL, AND HIDEOUS AND I CAN'T IMAGINE IT LOOKING GOOD ON ANYONE AT ALL.

THIS WAS ACTUALLY A BROWN SEE THROUGH TENT. UGLIEST MOST AWFUL SHIRT EVER. I COULD HAVE BOUGHT IT IN A SMALL AND I WOULD HAVE SAGGED OFF ME.

FINALLY I GOT PISSED TOOK MOST OF IT BACK AND TRIED ON THESE PANTS. THEY FIT PERFECTLY! NOW AT LEAST. SO I WANTED THEM ONE SIZE BIGGER BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE EM. WHICH WOULD HAVE MEANT I WOULD HAVE HAD TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO SPARKS TO GET EM, AND I WAS JUST SO FRUSTRATED AT THAT POINT I GAVE UP!

I ENDED UP WITH THREE CLEARANCE SHIRTS AND SOME JEANS THAT FIT BUT DON'T LOOK PARTICULARLY FLATTERING OR UNFLATTERING. WOE IS ME! I TOOK A FEW PICTURES OF THE OTHER STUFF AND THE STUFF I KEPT, AND I'LL UPLOAD IT TONIGHT!

Am I really....

I was just driving back to work behind a mini van when I noticed she had 5 thats FIVE identical student of the week at such and such elementary school stickers stuck on her car. Now I'm freaking out. Am I realllly reallllly supposed to stick those things on my car? Uggg people I am sooo not a putting stickers on my car kind of person, let alone ugly student of the week ones. So really, am I a bad mom if I don't?

My only comfort right now is that I'm pretty sure NEITHER of my offspring will be able to behave well enough for a whole entire week to receive one of those stickers!

NEED ADVICE

Back before Julia went all nutso over one stupid post I wrote and turned her whole life private I had loaned her two books. One of them was a gift from my good friend Katie. Well now I want my books back because they were pregnancy related and again one was a gift. Sooo since Julia freaked out and went all super secret private I can't even send her a myspace message. I contacted her friend Angie and asked her to pass along the message and I sent her a cell phone text with no reply. Personally I think that when she went on her little anti Shannon mission she should have sent them back then. So what do I do? I want my books back how do I get them?

PHATSO PHOTOS WEEK UHHH..LEMME CHECK 28!

UGLIEST PANTS EVER = MOST COMFY PANTS EVER

BRANDON KISSING BABY BROVVER

FROM THE LEFT

FROM THE RIGHT

HI...STILL UGLIEST PANTS EVER BUT AHHHH CAN MY BELLY BREATH GOOD!

STAY TUNED TONIGHT HOPEFULLY ALL MY NEW CLOTHES WILL BE IN AND I CAN DO A FASHION SHOW FOR YA'LL!

New night light

I found these great little lights at Target to match Brandon's new uber soft bedding. I thought they would make great night lights.

See there is a blue fish, green tree and brown bear...or as Brandon says beaw rarrrrraw!

Evil eye

Brandon giving you all the evil eye!

Spotlight

Okay so I don't normally do this but it's my blog so shut the fuck up I can do what I want. I want to spotlight my friend Ginger's blog. Aside from her being hilarious I want to do it because she is single, and being married or in a relationship for six damn years now I really get a kick out of reading her blog and her single life. Also she really needs someone else to go over there and read and say HEY ASSHOLE ASK OUT THE FUCKING DOG PARK GUY ALREADY. MMMMkay so after you all go there and read her blog make sure to throw in something about her being a wuss who won't ask out her crush!

Here is the link Ginger is THAT KIND OF GIRL. Now go read. Why are you still here? GO READ!

Big boy bed

We got Brandon a new twin bed this weekend along with some ultra cute bedding. We are still on a mission to find an actual bed with a head board and matching dresser before October 1st so that all of Codi's baby stuff can be moved out of Brandon's room and into his own room. Finding a nice solid wood dresser with out veneer on it is so very very hard. Anyway we spent all day on a mission for this damn bedding and I got it home, washed and put on the bed finally at 9pm when I noticed a fucking tear in the quilt. So now I have to exchange the shit tomorrow!

This stuff is ultra soft and smooth. Its that microfiber stuff. Soooo soo soft!

The whole top of it is that super soft stuff also and then cute little corduroy! I looove it, minus the fucking tear!

See the cute little bear paws!

Eggstra Eggstra

After writing about my hatred for most egg things down below, I thought I would give you guys some of my favorite recipes from before I started hating eggs. Oh yeah, and I was little so these are going to be weird!

1. Eggs and bologna. Mmmm! Take one to two slices of bologna slice into pieces and fry up in a pan. Add beaten eggs with milk, salt and pepper and fry up. Mmmmm enjoy the bologna goodness..(Jen I know you are barfing somewhere).
2. Quick scrambled eggs with cheese. I am a firm believer that a cook needs to be able to COOK anywhere. My mom and I created this recipe when I was younger. Scramble two eggs in microwave safe bowl. Tear two slices of plastic cheese (this is what I refer to Kraft singles as) and place pieces in egg. Nuke (technical kitchen term for microwave) for one minute. Remove, stir check doneness. Nuke for 30 seconds at a time after this till eggs are all cooked. They will kind of puff up during the cooking process and then deflate a little afterwards! Mmmmm they are delish. Interestingly enough this is how Port of Subs now make their eggs for their breakfast sandwiches.
   
3. Fry up an egg, top with pepperjack cheese and melt then top with salsa..mmmmmmm
4. This one is my favorite, it's messy and it's nuts! K sooo you fry up an egg. Then you put it between two slices of sour dough bread, you can even use two eggs depending on bread size..Slather both slices of bread with mayo and top eggs with cheese I prefer a white cheese but you can use chedder. Melt some butter in a pan and put the sandwhich in the pan and fry it up so its all toasted. Add mayo to the top of the sandwhich, some ham or bacon and top with more cheese, put in the oven under the broiler until it melts...yes you will need a fork for this bad boy! This is an untraditional version of a croque madam. The traditional version, you put the meat inside the bread like a grilled cheese, top it with the egg and second cheese layer and then pour a bechamel sauce or something on it! I like my version better, mainly because I'm to lazy to make the sauce!
5. Egg salad served on toasted bread is a current favorite.
   
6. I also like to make deviled eggs but add parmasan and bacon (to half) of the filling before putting it back in the egg!
   

Tag I'm it

I was tagged for a meme by Cakerwakers. Each person who is tagged has to list 7 quirks or weird things about themselves!

1. My absolute favorite thing to eat for breakfast is chips and salsa mixed with cream cheese, followed by a couple spoons of ice cream. This is not a pregnancy thing, this is a normal thing....pregnancy actually made me eat healthier.
2. Although I hate egss, the smell of them, the taste of them, basically anything egg (especially dishes that smell like eggs) I can totally groove on some egg salad or a deviled egg and not even feel weird about it...but cooking eggs any other way makes me gag and puke! I can also eat eggs on fast food, for instance the egg crosanwich thingy from Burger King, the egg and cheese biscuit from McDonalds and seriously people if you didn't know Port of Subs served breakfast sandwiches....YOUR LIFE IS NOT COMPLETE.
   
3. I sniff every dish before I use it. I also periodically sniff my dishwasher and washing machine and if I don't like what I smell I will, rewash the dish, or run an empty cycle of my washer and or dishwasher....yes I waste a lot of water.
4. I am totally ooged out by my sons little pool out back. No way am I getting in there!
5. I fuuureak out when dogs touch me. Just touch, not even lick me. I hate hate hate dog gems and if the lick me its as though I was touched by acid.
6. I love when my fingers smell like garlic...reminds me I actually cooked something at least once this week.
7. I would cook dinner every single night if I didn't make dishes. I don't do the dishes in my house, my husband does. However, making dishes stresses me out even if I'm not washing them. Thats why I love nights he has softball..I don't have to make dishes. This is also why I prefer paper cups, plates and so on!
8. And a bonus eighth one...I love to play with my toenails after I clip them. I put them all in a pile and oooh and ahhh at how long they were or how strong they are. Then I bend and smoosh them all!
   

K so now I'm supposed to tag people so...Ginger (Ging this means you would actually have to like blog something to do this!), Christina Mathers, Billy's mum, Jessica Cheatwoods, and Jen!

And now that I'm starving I think I want to run off to port of subs for a sandwich!