Tragedy and loss

I'm not even sure how I'm breathing right now. Yesterday my mom brought me home a chocolate cake. The kind from Claim Jumpers. You know the five layer thing that is so chocolaty and good and delicious. I just took two bites of it and I threw it away. Away in the trash I threw it away, it's gone and I can't come to terms with it. I want to dig it out of the trash. What was I thinking? Cake, chocolate cake, gone, in the trash. Think I'm going to pass out. I'm pregnant so I can't even blame it on being drunk and I'm pregnant so dammit I should have eaten the whole fucking one pound slice of cake. It is in a styraphome to go box. Is it wrong if I get it out? No I can't. I can't because I'm part of the tummy tuck club and eating that cake goes against everything. BUT I THREW AWAY CAKE. It is as though I threw away all that I stand for and believe in. I need to sit down, I'm getting light headed. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. For the love of gosh someone please rush to Claim Jumper and get me another piece of fucking cake before I hyperventilate!