I'm not sure if you all know that I am 8 months pregnant. This means that I can be a bit moody less angelic. I also have acid reflux. So last night when I woke up coughing from the acid in my throat and promptly ran to the bathroom to start vomiting streams of stomach acid I was a little pissed. This started at 10pm last night and continued until 3am. It kept going and going and going. Each time the acid would bubble up it would make me cough. The coughing would make me pee and while peeing I would have to throw up acid in the trash. This meant instead of my usual 3-6 pees a night it increased to about 11-17 last night. This wasn't the problem. The problem was when I realized I was out of the toilet paper. Normally this is fine. Normally I reach into the little basket next to the toilet and grab out a fresh roll. BUT NO! My lazy asshole clueless husband forgot to refill the basket. THIS IS HIS JOB! That means I had to go out of my little toilet room and into the main bathroom, under his sink to get the damn toilet paper. Oooooh I was pissed off. Why why why WHY could he not fill up the fucking basket?
However, this was not as bad as what the fucker did this morning. Since I wake up a little later then him in the morning he always gets ready in the other bathroom. This means he takes his morning pooh there also. So that means that when I went in there later today to pee and there was two sheets of toilet paper left I was mad to say the least. However, what escalated my anger was when I realized the spare rolls were under the sink. Usually one of us pulls out a spare one when we are close to the end. But nooooo not this morning. So this means my fat, pregnant, wet ass is now sitting on the toilet trying to maneuver my huge ass belly over the cabinet door and into the cabinet to get toilet paper all with out dripping pee on the floor. To say that I wanted to fuck him up is an understatement.
So I have to ask. Wouldn't the proper etiquette in this situation be for my oldest child husband to think of his poor, fat, pregnant wife and put some fucking toilet paper out for her knowing she pees 4000 times a day.
FUCKER!
10.09.2007
Try not to anger the beast
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7 comments:
I don't think a jury would convict you if you used his favorite shirt as toilet paper.
dammit i should have so used his shirt or sock or something to wipe with last night
Weird that you mention this, because this morning (and by this morning, I mean 4:00 am) I realized that there was no toliet paper in the bathroom. Frustrating and irritating.
This is hilarious!!!! We fight about the toilet paper too and I'm not even pregnant to be as upset as you were...I agree with swistle thought find that favorite shirt and wipe away!
I really like swistle's suggestion. Using his fave shirt is a very beautiful revenge hahahhaha. Just make sure it's clean.
Hehe you had me in fits of laughter because on Monday we were ALL OUT of toilet paper. And I mean ALL OUT. Lovely - funny you refer to your husband as your oldest kid. I sometimes feel the same. He's my only kid
Did you consider waking him up?? A little shout out to get some toilet paper? That is what I do. Course my son can sleep through a war, so disturbing him wouldn't happen.
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