Silly moments

First, in case you forget what I'm doing for my birthday Ginger got me tickets to Fantasies in Chocolate again. If you're wonder what that is, click here to have your eyes molested by chocolate (and to see me 179 months pregnant at last years event...this year I will be rockin). And yes I know YOU ARE VERY JEALOUS!

Now for the sillyness. The other day my husband and I were out at dinner and there was cake. I said I was full. Rob reached over and patted the side of my tummy and said, "babe did you forget about the special desert compartment." I know, you're thinking wow she's a cow. But it was really the cutest thing ever because my husband knows that no matter how full I am THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM FOR DESERT! I love that he knows me that well, and never judges my need for cake!

Tonight I baked Brandon mini cookies. I like to do this because when I do my son tells me, "mommy you are the best mommy cookie baker ever," and "mommy you bake me cookies because you love me." Anywho to spice it up tonight I smooshed some pumpkin ice cream between his chocolate chip cookies. His eyes lit up and he took a bite and ice cream gooed out and at that moment, I knew I had totally won at the mom thing....... for tonight anyway.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM ALL OF US

THE DISNEY LAND OF BAGELS

(Edited to add: The above title was supposed to read, THE DISNEYLAND OF BIRTHDAYS, NOT BAGELS!! I am obviously soooo stupefied with my bagels that is all I can think about!)

So I just went to my mail box to find the rest of my present from Patty!

She fucking knitted me a scarf.

I don't even know what to do right now. I'm totally overwhelmed. I don't think I've gotten a gift this personal since my grandma was here and made me doll clothes. The scarf has a faint scent of Patty, and I feel like I just unwrapped a giant New York hug in a box. I am going to keep this for life and put it on when ever I'm in need of a hug.

The rest of the gift.
Bath stuff
Chocolate...this shit is so good it won't make it through the hour.
And the sweetest most personal card ever
I can't begin to describe Patty how thankful I am for you in my life. Thank you soooo much I love you!

Update, I tasted the bacon chive cream cheese she mailed me and that stuff is enough to turn me into a meat eater!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

My birthday is tomorrow. Today Patty told me to keep an eye out for Fed Ex. About 20 minutes ago my mom said she saw them leaving. I hauled ass next door to my house and found a giant box on my door step. When I opened it I saw.....

GLORIOUS NEW YORK BAGELS.

I thought o cool she sent me a couple bagels.

NO

She sent me like two dozen or more bagels.

And cream cheese. The best cream cheese I've ever had in my life. Cream cheese so good I want to hide it and not share it with Brandon even.

It even had coffee in it and I'm sitting on my hands to avoid brewing coffee at 11:20 in the afternoon.

Of course I just took a little taste of the cream cheese

Heaven! This is what heaven is.

Patty this is the best birthday present I've gotten ever!

IN THE HISTORY OF PRESENTS THIS IS THE TOPPER!

I FUCKING LOVE YOU!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Aren't you all so jealous right now!

How to get through a day at work...Shannon style

A quick look at my current play list in Itunes at work...in this order:

Pump up the Jam by Technotronic
This is How We Do It by Montell Jordan
Too Legit to Quit by MC Hammer
Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangster by Geto Boys
U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer
No Diggity by Blackstreet
Tootsie Roll by 69 Boyz

And that my friends, is how you have a good time at work!

Chips and crackers...REALLY

I took Brandon to school this morning to discover a sign outside his classroom with a sign up sheet for their Halloween party on Friday. I was THRILLED because I have been dying to make something for his class for a party. However then I looked closer and discovered that the only things left to bring were fruit, juice boxes and chips and crackers. I don't want to buy juice boxes because..NOT FUN AND/OR CRAFTY. I thought about doing cute little fruit cabobs with yogurt dip in little cups (shit I shoulda done that), but for some reason I signed up for chips and crackers. How unfun is that?

So oh wise internet do you have any ideas on fun chip and cracker things (with maybe some cheese)? I was thinking of getting cute little Halloween theme muffin cups and putting stuff in those BUT WHAT? Is there something rad I can CREATE out of crackers? Dammit I know Martha Steward would have some super great way of taking crackers, olives and chives and turning it into bats and cats and ghosts oh my BUT. AM. NOT. MARTHA. STEWART!

HELP ME INTERNET WHAT DO I MAKE!!!! I WANT TO ROCK THAT PARTY!

I THOUGHT THIS SHIT ENDED AT A CERTAIN AGE

Last week in a moment of sleepless deprivation I called my pediatrician to find out if I could take Melatonin an herbal supplement for sleeping, while nursing. The nurse said no, because herbal supplements are not regulated and there is insufficient evidence on their effects on babies. I said okay and before I hung up she told me I could take Tylenol PM. I was so confused because that has Benadryl in it which this very same nurse has told me over and over I can't take while nursing since it will dry up breast milk. She said reason one is that it is a much lower dosage then a benadryl pill and two, I would only be taking one, every few nights and not taking them every four hours for allergies.

I bought some and stared at it all weekend. Finally last night I took the recommended dose and before I knew it I was out flat on my ass. At 2am Codi woke up puking. By 5am when I had changed my sheets, and put 3 different towels on my bed due to puking I gave up, swaddled him and took him downstairs to sleep on me. I really worried that my single dose of Tylenol PM had somehow upset his stomach. We had tried some baby food and yogurt yesterday but it was so early in the day I didn't think it was that, especially because the vomit was white.

HOWEVER!

He just made a noise out of his butt that sounded like he was squirting the last drops of ketchup out of his ass. Or exactly how it sounds when you try and get that last bit of conditioner out. Then he immediately started giggling. And then I passed flat out from the stench. It smelled like dog shit, sewage, and lamb all together. (I hate lamb, nothing smells worse then lamb to me). I went in to the bathroom to change him and as I took down the diaper the poop went rolling out of the diaper into his footie jammies AND out onto the changing table. I called for my mom to come pull his arms out of his jammies so I could get them away from him because the more he wiggled the more he got covered in liquid yellow death poop.

At that moment the guy in our office loudly wondered if he had stepped in dog shit. Nope, just my kid. I cleaned him up. Grabbed the diaper, outfit and changing pad cover and ran them all outside. It has been almost 20 minutes and we can all still smell it. He still smells (I think he needs a bath in the office sink), the shop smells, everything smells and I'm now convinced he obviously didn't like the new food he tried yesterday. He is however totally thrilled with himself and still laughing 20 minutes later. I thought the massive diaper explosions stopped somewhere in the 3rd month.

I have to go now, I need to locate a gas mask.

A CONTEST & A GIVEAWAY

HEAD OVER TO THE FOOD BLOG TO CHECK OUT MY CONTEST AND ENTER TO WIN SOME FABULOUS HOME MADE TREATS AND A LITTLE SOMETHING ELSE!

ENTER HERE

A quick reminder

I just wanted to remind everyone while you are buying your Halloween candy to make sure you have a peanut free option in there, Hersheys, or Starburst or anything sans nuts and nutbutters!

I would have a better post for you this morning but I have been up late with an 11 month old projectile vomiting OUT OF HIS NOSE!

I also don't think I should blog while I am this angry. I had the pleasure of witnessing one of my family members doing probably the rudest thing possible this weekend and my anger is....well OBVIOUS!

Finally, my cousin Angie got married this weekend and she looked fucking hot you guys. Her husband pretty much bawled during the whole ceremony which totally made me bawl. During the reception she actually thanked me for starting the Tummy Tuck. I was pretty thankful too because I looked pretty darn great myself in my brand new stiletto heels! Anyway, she looked so good, the night was awesome and I can't wait to see all of the pictures!

Also I broke a cardinal rule this weekend. I THREW AWAY A PURSE. A hot pink clutch to be exact. I had gone and bought two pairs of shoes and a clutch to go with my hot little party dress for my birthday this weekend. Then! In a rush to get ready for the wedding this weekend I just reached in the bag and grabbed both pairs of shoes out of their boxes. I tossed in other bags and random trash from my room and set it out for my husband to take to the trash. At 6am this morning the trash guys came. At 7am this morning I realized my fucking purse was probably being compacted at that very moment.

What kind of monster throws away a purse A HOT PINK ONE AT THAT!

Visual Proof Shannon Just Doesn't Know How to Read

Hmm....I don't see anything that says MOOSE. Do you?

K, end of discussion!

Misguided Mommy editors comment: Mouse, Moose or wild Boar the fact remains SHE WAS GIVING ME HALF EATEN COOKIES!