My son is potty training as you all know. Now. Since my son is BIG BOY he won't have anything to do with those dinky plastic fake toilets you buy for kids. NOOOO he wants to go "potty toilet" So we let him do that for a while and finally got him this tiny Elmo seat that fit over the big seat so he would quit dunking his asshole in the toilet water.
But since my son is all about monkey see monkey do, i.e. if I wear deodorant he wears deoderant, if I brush my teeth and use my hand to put water in my mouth so does he, if daddy wets his hair in the sink, guess whose head goes in the sink and if mom wears perfume you can bet your ass my son will come to work that day smelling like flowers and fruit! Soooo that also means that when he spends a whole weekend with his older cousins who don't use an Elmo seat that my son will now REFUSE to use the Elmo seat.
So now, not only are we dunking our ass back in the toilet bowl cuz he is so skinny, we are also shooting pee out from under the toilet seat right onto mommies cute pink seude flip flops!!!!!!!!
8.21.2007
Why oh why does this shit only happen to me
The fun new blog game
Heres the deal. A super secret friend of mine who would like to be known as Sassy, started this new blog. It's called the truth about.... Basically what happens is you go in and finish the ... So far hers have all been about work and the things co workers do to really piss you off. The fun thing about this blog is it is totally anonymous. What she has decided to do, is open up the blog to invite guest authors. You have to come up with your secret agent name to post. Since she wants to remain super secret you will leave your email in my comments and I will give them to her. PLEASE LEAVE THEM ANONYMOUSLY SO WE DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE! She will add your email and you will receive an invite and be granted permission to blog on the page. Soooo that means if you are having a shit bad day at work and want to secretly vent about that bitch ass ho in the cubicle next to you, you can do it and never have to worry about your job finding out.
The rules are as follows:
All posts will start out with POSTED BY: and your secret agent name
The title shall go as follows: ...and the thing you are telling the truth about..you can see examples from what she has already put up
Cussing is totally allowed.
No real names not even of the people you are writing about
If at any time you figure out who another blogger is you are required to shut your mouth and not out them
After the blog gets up and running you can fill in the blank about anything. It doesn't even have to be about work. Since its totally anonymous you can post the truth about anything, boyfriends, friends, any big juicy secrets you have you can post totally secret and no one can ever vet mad since we don't know who you or the person you are talking about is.
My super secret friend and I think this is going to be great fun. So head over HERE and check out our new little game. Remember if your interested you can simply leave me your email and we will invite you.
NOW PLEASE BE ADVISED. Once you submit your email, in order to sign in you will need a google blogger account. IF the email you send me is connected to your regular blog your secret agent cover will be blown. So if you want to remain ultra mega anonymous then create a second google account with only your secret agent name and a different email that isn't connected to your regular blog GOT IT!
About my twin (my much skinnier much more fashionable twin)
So! Jen and I just started talking again about 8 months ago. We knew each other in high school but we never knew each other well because we were all to caught up in the gossip of life to actually KNOW people! So now as we get to know each other we have found the oddest similarities. Here they are:
- Our bedrooms were (until last week when she redid hers) the same color scheme, a kinda tealish blueish color, and browns.
- We drive the same EXACT care, same year and features and everything
- We are both almost the same far along in our pregnancies
- We are both having boys
- Both our kids will probably have names that start with "C"
- We both type on little white Mac Books
- We both prefer to shop at the organic stores and cook fresh meals
- We are registered for the same stroller
- We both have bent pinkies
- Our moms so far seem like the same person just split in two
- We were both ultra spoiled
- We both still are
- We both married non confrontational guys
- We both have cats
- We both had out door weddings
- We both have a thing with bags!!!!
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING???
Rewewol! That is what Brandon is repeating to me OVER AND OVER AND OVER! What in the fuck is he telling me? He is getting sadder and sadder as he says it because I can't figure it out. On top of that he doesn't seem to want to point it out or take me to it either so I'm stuck here just trying to guess. Lets see, it is none of the following:
- Nothing on TV
- Milk
- Blocks
- Chair
- Hungry
- Red
- Yellow
- Balloon
It is so frustrating watching him try and tell me, and it's more frustrating because in return he doesn't understand me back when I say, Honey I don't know what you are telling me. Soooo we then spend the morning going back and forth not understanding a word the other one is saying!
Why don't these things come with little tiny translators who sit on their shoulder like a talking parrot hmmm?
Why why why why why?
I just don't get it. Why on earth do people have Myspace accounts if they are just going to set them to private? It is fucking retarded. To use the excuse that you don't want people to know what you are doing is even more lame. If you don't want them to know THEN DON'T FUCKING WRITE IT, Right? But really, I don't get it. How much info can one person really have on their Myspace? It's like blogging, you either use a pseudo name or you just don't write what you don't want people to know? Sounds easy enough doesn't it? Quite frankly the private blogs get me irritated too. I think I'm so bothered by this because when you make the effort to find an old friend or something and then can't even check out their pictures to make sure it is really them, it really sucks that you even tried. Uggggg. Don't have a Myspace if you have soooo much to hide!
8.20.2007
DUDE GO READ
8.17.2007
Sorry
I know I put up a lot of stuff today, it is worth it to read down. However I don't plan on writing again till Monday so I gave it all to you now. However I did prewrite the next few chapters of my love story so those will still be posted over the weekend!
Taking my cousin down with me again
After my cousin read this mornings posts she reminded me of more stupid ass dumbshit things we did, such as:
- Before we would call any guy we would write down word for word a script of how the conversation was going to go, including variations if said guy didn't respond the way we wanted. This means most old notebooks of ours that you find have at least one page in them that start out like this...
- We used to create theme songs for the local pizzaria down the street from my house...then print them out, create dances and go perform them for the owner Dave (Shannon puts head in hands and shakes it in shame). One of them may or may not have been to the tune of Whoomp there it is. Ginger may or may not have been listed as our manager on one of those!
- We took an old cheerleading song that I used to love that went our boys are F-I-N-E fine on the L-I-N-E line and changed it to Tom is F-I-N-E fine in his Hanes underwear and I L-O-V-E love him all the T-I-M-E time....sigh
- We also used to walk down the street singing alright alright alright awesome awesome awesome (have to be a rah rah to know the tune)
- Also we may or may not have walked down the street randomly going EEEP AAAHH to make sure our voices still worked so in case we were kidnapped we could still scream.
- We made up the BOOK OF DARES and created different dares with different point values and tried to see who could get the most points. Some of the dares were, put night crawlers in grandmas hair brush, lock grandma out of the house, and so on.
- When we couldn't drive we tried to scheme ways of getting to see each other, such as me dressing up as a lost baby, putting me in a box and getting mailed to her house and hitching a ride. NICE!
- We used to make up dances and then make her brothers come out and judge us to see whose dance was better, we would lie and say she was doing mine and I was doing hers so they wouldn't be partial to whose dance they were picking.
- We used to have coloring contests. We had one the whole flight to Louisiana one time.
- Once in Louisiana we made a code to tell each other if we liked the other cousin we were meeting or not, It was a thumbs up or thumbs down...real incognito
- We used to speak in a secret Kong language
- We used to try and convince these dumbass girls in Truckee that we were twins so we made up a routine when we saw them (they were twins) we would say hi (wave) whats up (point up) then say not wearing the same thing (while wiggling finger back and forth) I (point to our eye) see (making a C with our hands) and walk off. They would stare at us amazed that we could do that.
- Try and cook with out a recipe and then make her brothers eat our magic cookies. Mine always had about four teaspoons of salt in them.
- The time Lisa decided to cut my hair and took about an inch round chunk of hair square on the top of my head and cut it one inch long. Then dumped a bottle of hair spray on my head, smooshed it down and tried to tell my mom it was there the whole time!
- There was the time in Louisiana when the neighbor boys wouldn't let us swim in their pool so we caught frogs under rocks and launched em over the fence into the boys pool while they were swimming.
- We used to dress up in adult clothes, go to department stores with clip boards and pretend like we were doing quality control.
- We tried to pay for meals with fake play money
- We used to go to stores, fill our baskets with school supplies then leave it all there on the floor and walk out.
- We used to paint pictures and walk around the neighborhood and try and sell them to people. Soon we got really crafty and would find weeds with flowers on them and glue those to paper and try and sell those too!
- We also may or may not have demolished my grandmas kitchen one time trying to make different concoctions out of every single condiment and then daring each other to eat them..I.E. ketchup covered ice cube dunked in chocolate sauce.
- We may have had a sip of rum and coke a a party for a doctor and pretended to be totally drunk!
K. part Deux
At this point it was my sophmore year. I could drive and K. and I were still playing our little game. Actually when I turned 16 I woke up to find K sitting out front at 6am with my mom. I asked what on earth he was doing there and he turned around and kissed me and said that he wanted to tell me happy birthday before anyone else did. I went out there with all my friends for Halloween a few nights later and he grabbed me and ran away with me down the street. He just wanted to be with me in the dark for a while. We then went inside and just laid there and cuddled and truth be told we forgot my friends were even there. Close to this time our friend P died. K kind of freaked out a little (read majorly super duper a lot way bad holy shit did he freak out). He started dating R's older sister M. I said "cool I'll go away". I had my own boyfriends on the side this whole time anyway. One of my favorite stories about that was the time K was over at my house in my bed with this shirt off watching TV with me. My mom had just left and she wouldn't quit calling the house. I didn't feel like answering so I kept ignoring it. Finally the third time she called I answered and she screamed, SHANNON YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A FUCKING BLOCK AWAY YOU NEED TO GET K OUT NOW!!!!!! Ding dong. Oops!
I walk to the door and my boyfriend goes storming into the house to find K still laying there not giving a fuck on my bed. He was mad. He took off and I was like okay see ya. Stayed at home and hung with K. Later that day I found my boyfriend, batted my eyes and the dumbshit was stupid enough to believe nothing happened and I was being a totally great girlfriend.
December came and my company Christmas party came. K wanted to go with me. I walked out of school the day before to find M parked behind my truck. She informed me that her boyfriend had permission to go, but only because he promised me before they were dating, and that nothing better happen. Oh okay, she was about as retarded and blind as my own boyfriend.
We went to my party, got trashed and fucked all night. Good job keeping an eye on your boyfriend M!
This shit with K and I kept going on for the next three years. He went to all my company parties, he was always at my house, my work, you name it he was there. His girlfriend knew but she loved him so much she didn't want to lose him so she kind of ignored most of it.
Junior year I had started dating this guy J. Although I thought I loved J I knew that it wasn't right. So, I slept with K. We tried to get caught and did. J was stupid and forgave me. I kept right on sleeping with K. In fact one day J (after the first cheat) was coming to the lake to see me. He stopped off and picked up K and they both came. I thought J must have had a mental defect at this point. They stayed there for a few hours, I played the good girlfriend and then they left. An hour later K came back and we fucked in the lake, waiting to get caught. Somehow we didn't.
Eventually J broke up with me, and while I was pretending to be devastated I was driving to K's and curling up with him in bed at night. I spent Thanksgiving at K's one year and damn if that wasn't crazy. This crazy bitch M who was Ps ex apparently decided she had some sort of stake over K, she got all coked up with her friend A one night and parked outside his window watching us screw all night after Thanksgiving one year. When I left she actually followed me halfway home trying to ram me off the road.
The years kept up like this. Every single guy I dated I was never faithful to. K was always there. In fact there should have been a disclaimer...if your dating me please know I'm going to be fucking K too. One of my favorite memories was this time I ditched class to go get some and when I was trying to get dressed we couldn't find my underwear, it seems his dog had snuck in and stolen them and was chewing on them. I had to go back to school pantyless. I still have those undies, these little tie dye blue thongs. I used to ditch class all the time and just go be with K. It was so fun. He taught me how to drive stick the second time around in his brothers bronco, then we had sex in it (sorry little k) in fact, we had sex in M's bronco too (Not sorry M).
There were so many times he asked me what I wanted. He would ask me if he should break up with M and I always said no. There was no reason to change what we had. We loved it. It worked. When we needed comfort it was there and that was it. One night I remember him taking me to Gardnerville for dinner at a Basque place because I'm Basque. On the way home he took the long way and pulled over on the side of the road and said to me, I want you to remember this spot, this moment in time, this minute, I want you to know I love you. I said I knew, and that was that. He has told me a few more times over the years he loved me, and I always reply, I love you too, but we are what we are.
There were times that M would call me and beg me to stop ,and I would say I would but I never could. When things with him and M would go bad he would come to me. In fact when ever things went bad with any of his girls he came to me. I know all of his secrets. I know what every girl has done to him after they broke up or he cheated. I know about the girls busting in his door and beating him up while he was sleeping or calling him horrible things, or busting in and sitting on his floor crying. Each time he would leave and come to me. There was one time after E, when K and M had a big fight and he came to me. He knew I was broken at this time so he wasn't expecting sex or anything like that. Instead he came over, we went to the store, made dinner and spent the rest of the night spooning. He cried to me about missing M and eventually passed out. He spent about three days at my house before I convinced him to go work it out.
The strange thing about us, is at one point I flat out told him the sex was done. I didn't want to do it anymore. We weren't careful enough and honestly I never wanted to get into a situation where he had to be the father of my baby. Surprisingly enough he totally understood. We remained friends. He was still always there for me at the drop of a hat, he still always called and cared and we still had a great friendship. It's been nearly 7 years since we had sex and we are still friends. He still calls me at work once in a while to check in or calls my mom. In fact now we email and talk that way. It is strange to go from such a sexual screwing like bunnies relationship to just being friends.
I'm so glad though I had K in my life. It is nice that I had that experience, that time where I was with someone who gave me what I needed and never wanted anything in return. I'm glad I can look back and say I was with the most irresistible guy. I can say he loved me. I can say we are still friends too.
Edited to add: S just wrote and said she couldn't believe that we had sex in M's truck. For the record we had sex in hers, his, his brothers, all of mine and then some. We had sex at my high school my elementary school at Washoe lake, in Washoe lake, In Reno, in Sparks, my house, his house and probably your house. We had sex most days no less than three times a day. Sometimes three times in a row, sometime times once early in the day on my lunch break, once after school and once at night. We had sex outside at night, inside, and everywhere else. It is safe to say, if your wondering if we did it there we did, if we did it then, we did...sorry, to be graphic but to avoid your questions, lets just assume that yes, K and I did that, there and then and boy was it fun!
K Part one
I mention K here and there but you guys have never really heard about us. I decided along with telling my true love story over there, that I would tell my super lusty sexy story too. Don't worry this one will be short and sweet but I wanna tell it for shits and giggles.
It was freshman year. I was a cheerleader, I was pretty cute and knew it. If I had the patience for scanners I would put up some photographic evidence. I had already discovered this whole dating guys my own age thing wasn't going to work. I also decided I wasn't just going to date anyone I wanted to date the hottest guys in school. There were a lot at my school but the prize, the golden power of veto, the number one Mr. Irresistible himself was K! Aside from his intense, amazing, smoldering, burning, hottness, there was something in this guys eyes. Something that screamed hold me, I'm a poor sad lost puppy. If I only knew how lost this guy was. 11 years later and K is still lost.
Anyway I noticed him in passing and I knew I just knew he would be mine. Right around the time I decided he would be mine he went on a 30 day all expenses paid vacation to....ummm...somewhere and everything came to a hault. Not to be deterred I struck up a friendship with K's equally hot friend R. R agreed that K and I were destine to be together. He and I spent a lot of time getting to know each other and he finally decided that as soon as K got back from where he was, he would tell K he had to hook up with me. I should tell you, at this point, I was never ever expecting a relationship with K. I knew no matter what we would have something special and be in each others lives forever but never NEVER a relationship. One look at this guy, one look in his eyes and any smart girl can see K is not that kind of guy.
K returned right about the time school was ending. We played it coy and didn't talk. Then one day I got my year book went up to him and made him sign. He gave me his number and said something like he wanted to spend time with me. A few days later you can't even imagine the immature freak out I had when K called me.
I was at work (our office was at our house at this time) and I had my own phone line. Suddenly it rings.
Shannon: Hello
K: Is this Shannon
Shannon: Yup
K: Umm this is K, oh hang on I have another call
Shannon: Runs down hallway screams as loud as possible throws her self on the floor and screams HE CALLLLLLLLLLED
K got back on the line and we talked for a while. We made some kind of date to meet. I couldn't drive at this point so every time we hung out K was coming and getting me. We hung out A LOT!
We developed this little friendship. We actually both knew a lot about each other and spent a surprising amount of time talking, probably more time talking then sleeping together. I hung out with his family, and his brother and I were great friends. His mom loved me and we would sit and talk about me being a vegetarian and so on. Their house always ALWAYS smelled like that Glade sent country garden.
A few times K tried to talk to me about dating. He always asked what I wanted from us and I always said, nothing. Not because I wanted nothing, but because I was smart and knew it would never work. No matter what he thought he wanted it wouldn't work. He proved me right a few months later.
Senior picture...proof I was a hotty
After high school when I had put on some weight but was still a bad ass...this is around the time I met Rob
Another senior pic...more proof I was hot!
