Oprah is no longer safe to watch while pregnant

I'm watching Oprah on Tivo right now. She is doing a show called Cheers to You! She just brought on this lady Debbie from Operation Cuddle. What she does is help moms who want to give up their baby, instead of leaving it in a trash somewhere. Also, she helps moms with no money get prenatal care and even sets up adoptive families. One girl whose family was really upset she was pregnant so young, called Debbie and then next thing she knew they had thrown a baby shower, gotten her an OB and so on. The little girl is now six and her mom decided to keep her after seeing at the shower how many people were so happy for the baby to come. All the babies, and happiness and surprises have really gotten me bawling now. I'm not sure I can finish the story. I'm just glad my husband is outside because I'm actually crying that ugly cry with terrible sobbing and snorts. Uggggg, leave it to Oprah to make me blubber

WORST FINALE EVER!!!!!!!!

I hate you Grey's Anatomy! I HATE YOU IN CAPS! I HATE YOU IN ITALICS! I HATE YOU IN WEBDINGS! I HATE YOU! Finales aren't supposed to make you cry with saddness. They are supposed to make you happy. They are supposed to make you excited for the future. They are supposed to make you jump up and down with excitement for next season. THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU WALK AWAY CRYING BECAUSE THEY TURNED THE WHOLE SHOW TO SHIT IN ONE HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES!!!!! Worst finale ever. I'm not even looking forward to the mess they have created next season. Stupid dumb ass writers!!!!!!

ASHLEY

HI! I CAN'T READ YOUR BLOG!!!!! YOU ARE PRIVATE...ADD ME K wilddreemer@yahoo.com

A big ole can of whoop ass....assvice that is

Pretty sure I'm going to regret this later. However since most of you are way ahead of me on this I'm going to open this up for some serious assvice here. Ya'll said go ahead and potty train. Only problem. I'm pretty sure I have zero clue exactly how this potty training thing goes. Old organized Shannon would have pulled out all of my books and bought about 45 more while researching online all the perfectly right ways to do this. However, new worn out, overwhelmed, lazy mom Shannon says it sounds so much easier to just let you all tell me how it worked for you. I'll pick the best sounding one and go from there and when that doesn't work I'll move on down the list. Oh yeah be specific. Someone said they used a timer. Only they didn't tell me how long they set the timer for, did they use the timer for how long the kid was on the potty or how long between being one the potty, what kind of timer did they use, was it an egg, or the microwave or some cute froggy looking timer.

Does this world really not know how impatient I am??????

Went to the doctor today. Heartbeat was 154. That was it. NOTHING ELSE! A big fat nothing. Oh wait thats not true, I got told that is going to be another seven to eight weeks till I find out the sex. SEVEN TO EIGHT WEEKS!!!!!!!!! Does the world hate me? Fuck. Anyway, healthy mom, healthy baby blah blah still don't know if I get to register for a pink bundle me or a brown. Assholes! Oh but, I've only gained two pounds, which I can't manage to believe considering the amount of candy and chips I've been Hoovering lately!

THIS MONTHS AWARD

INTRODUCING THE
GIGGLE AWARDS
This month I decided to try something besides the dumb ass award. The giggle award is something that you or someone else has recently done that has made you laugh so hard you turned a little red, had some tears in your eyes and possibly even had a little drop of pee in your pants. So please share all of your stories and make every one laugh. I will announce the one that makes me laugh the hardest after about two weeks.

This award was inspired by a situation that happened between Ginger and I and some mayonnaise this weekend. I will leave the story for Ginger to submit in comment form on this blog because she really really laughed her ass off.

So what do I do with him

This morning Brandon was intently watching Blue's Clues. Just happily staring at the screen. Suddenly out of no where he went running to the bathroom screaming POOPOO POOPOO. He got to the door and started crying because it was shut. I opened the door, took off his diaper and he pushed his stool over to the toilet climbed up, did a number one and about 5 minutes later he did a number two.

My real question here is what do I do with this? Do I try and potty train him or do I just keep letting him randomly go to the potty? He isn't even two yet he is only 21.5 months old. Todays big step was that we went and bought a little Elmo potty seat to put over the big seat so he wouldn't fall into the toilet anymore. He hasn't gotten to try that out yet since we just got back from Elmo live and he is all tuckered out and passed right out on the drive home.

this is hilarious

I snagged this from Deborahs blog which she snagged from Shannons blog....sooooo hilarious. Anytime I need a laugh I read this!

Potty Talk A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall. By Shannon Popkin

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.
People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:
"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full … 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.
Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh … Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"
"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!" As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.
"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.
"Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?" More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.
"Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!"
I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. As I sheepishly opened the door, and found an open sink, I thought, Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my privacy?
But as my little herald gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.

Talking on the phone

My son is talking on the phone right now. He is telling mommom (aka grandma) all about his day. He is talking all about how they went outsigh outsigh outsigh outsigh and then ball outsigh ball. Then he says Yeah, good, dog outsigh. I'm sure soon he will get to telling her all about how he just came to me and said poopoo so I took him to the big potty and he went pee. Only his pee pee didn't go all the way in so it came shooting back out at mom from under the toilet seat. It was so fun for him that he kept right on peeing and watching with delight as it came squirting out from under the seat and formed a yellow puddle on the floor and moms squeaky clean fresh moose jammies! mommom will think that is funny. Then he will take a break to say puppie Elmo and kitty are outsigh and that YEAH he wants to go. Then he will tell her how he was done going pee so he took his diaper to dad. But he must have gotten loose because he called out to mom. Only mom didn't go because she thought he was with dad. So since mom didn't go find him, she didn't know he was asking to go on the bathroom so, he squatted down and pooped on the floor in the bathroom. Then he'll tell mommom how mommy called daddy to clean it up and he freaked out and started gagging and ran away. Mommy made fun of dada and he got upset because the poopoo was so gross! Then, knock on the window and outsigh and dada night night and mama poop. Then he says yeah shannon yeah. After that he'll tell mommom how he found some old string cheese in his secret stinky food hiding place and ate it with out telling mom. He'll tell mommom how mommy wouldn't have even known if he hadn't thrown up on her second pair of fresh jammies for the night. The kid won't get off the phone or the toilet for that matter. He's all peed out and he just wants to sit on the toilet and say poopoo pee pee potty and clap at himself. Sigh! I guess tomorrow we are going to go buy a tiny toilet seat so he doesn't fall into the toilet anymore. Oh wait grandma puppy and baby and puppy! Nigh Nigh mommom, apple! Bye bye

Why this kid better be a girl

Reason one: I've eaten more candy in the last 11 weeks then I have in 25 years. Its embarrassing what I did with a bag of gummy bears today. In fact, this week I've eaten more candy then I have in years.

Reason two: Acne! Man, I've never had this many pimples. There are more pimples on one inch of my face then I've had on my entire body EVER IN MY LIFE. I've always been that girl who never washed her face, in fact it would sometimes get a splash of water in the shower and that was it. However I had basically flawless skin. A small pimple here or there, but nothing really ever noticeable. Now, NOW pimple city. I'm washing, scrubbing, pealing, picking, and short of lasering my skin off and nothing is working. They say girls steal your beauty so this little shit better be a girl!

Reason three: The hair. My gosh my hair has never grown faster. I don't mean my head hair either. I mean my leg hair, and my armpit hair, and my now apparently very noticeable mustache. Yeah MoMommy, you were mad that your coworkers said you had a belly AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T POINT OUT IT MIGHT BE TIME TO WAX YOUR UPPER LIP BECAUSE ITS GETTING OUT OF HAND. Oh and, Maybe you shouldn't stand in that light, it really makes you look furry!