Evil Wal*Mart

Who know a trip to Walmart could end with my cousin and I laughing so hard we nearly pissed ourselves (okay maybe I let out a drop or so but I would never admit it, wait did I just admit it? Shit, oh well I continue.) Yesterday my cousin and I decided to take a trip around Reno. What I mean when I say this is we were bored and broke and just drove from store to store dicking around and window shopping. We went to the NEW mall and saw a bajillion baby things that we felt like we must have but couldn't afford. Then we got irritated and left there after dragging her daughter away from the shoe department promising her we would go somewhere with shoes we might actually be able to afford and that she could actually wear out. We finally left the land of Coach, Baby Gap, Dillards and so on and arrived at Babies R Us. We wanm,/;'
lked around and around that damn store finding what we were actually looking for the first moment we walked in (A Christmas Dress for her daughter.) Although we came what we looked for we continued we continued wandering looking at this or that and commenting on what we would like if we had another kid. By we I mean me. I wanted this for my future little girl I'm never going to have (husbands genetics will prevent me from having a girl) and I want that for the future little girl I'll never have. I was floating in a cloud of pink and patent leather shiny shoes. It was so not me. We played in the toy isle and wandered to furniture where I purchased a little step stool to help my son climb into my bed with me since that is where he still sleeps (SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.)

Wait didn't this blog start off about Walmart?

So we finished up fairly late at Babies R Us and while walking to our cars we discovered neither of us really felt like going home and ending our mommy baby bonding trip (wow I just sounded so ridiculous.) We look next door. Well more like across the parking lot, and see WALMART. Yesssssss! ! ! ! Lets go there. After all I needed about 15 things off my grocery list and she needed 2 things, dog food and diapers. We decide we will just leave our car where it is and walk like healthy people to Walmart. For those of you who know where this is going I hate you for knowing and not telling me.

We get to Walmart and spend no less then an hour and a half piling my shopping cart with a big bunch of shit. Wait I have my receipt in my car. Okay so I piled my cart with 42 things rather then the barely 15 I needed. 3 of those things were opened because my son realized he was starving half way through the trip. My cousin had maybe 10 things instead of her two. However she did have the biggest bag of dog food I've ever seen I'm guessing about 60lbs with a bonus 5 lbs for the hell of it. We spent about 5 hours waiting in the check out line and were finally on our way. FREEDOM yessss. So we were walking back to our cars and were crossing this little crossing area when my cart got stuck on something. I did what any normal person would do, I shoved it harder. I then verbalized "Why isn't my cart moving?" My cousin thinks about it and says wait I'm stuck too. Again being totally in control of our emotions we did the smart thing. We started pushing and shoving extra hard.


Lets recap. We have me with my son in the cart with gummies stuck all over his fingers, a cart very full with needless junk and I have to pee because its dark and I always have to pee in the dark. Then we have my cousin, with her daughter in her new shoes and an 800 pound bag of dog food and a super deluxe size box of diapers with some other junk. All of this and we are pushing, tugging and shoving our carts to try and get them unstuck from the invisible thing we seem to be stuck on. After a few moments of looking like complete assholes we noticed that there were about 4 sets of bright yellow lines painted across the road, each about 5 feet from the next with little black shopping cars on them. Oh ya there may have been a strike through said shopping cart signs. Hmmmmmm. I GOT IT. Walmart doesn't want us removing their carts so when we crossed the little yellow line this giant magnet drops off and shuts down your wheels. Here comes the amazing part. Even after realizing what we have done wrong and why the cart isn't moving we still don't give up. Our cars are still across the parking lot. So we proceed to push and shove. We try maybe balancing the cart on the front two wheels, the side wheels, the back wheels and so on. We try just plane dragging the carts and try pushing and shoving again. We are laughing so hard we had to hold on to our cart to keep from falling in a fit of giggles on the asphalt. We pause and look around sure that at any moment someone is going to jump out with a camera and declare that we are on some new MTV joke show. Perhaps we've been Punked. Nope no cameras no show no flashy lights. Damn. Finally this lady shows up and gives an super dirty look from her car and says that what we should do is have one person stay behind and watch the cart while the other runs and gets their car and so on. After glaring at us for about 5 minutes she says she learned the hard way the the carts won't move. WAIT WHAT. You are sitting here giving me dirty looks and being a huge jerk to me when you have done this yourself. Wow I had a few obscene words flying through my head.


Finally I unbuckle my son, grab him and take off running for my car. I get him drive over guard my cousins cart while she grabs her daughter and takes off running for her car. We pack up our stuff and are finally on our way. I can't believe no one told me that you can't remove the carts from within a certain radius of the Walmart parking lot. They should put up some kind of sign for all the moms walking from the baby store letting us know that we should get in our cars, drive over to Walmart and repark all because Walmart is to shallow to let us move their carts an extra 60 feet. ASSHOLES. Thanks for nothing. In the end it seems we at least gave the guy who watches the video footage of the parking lot a good chuckle.

Been a while

Its been a while since I posted any pictures of my little monkey so here you go. This one is of Brandon in his toy wagon.

I tried to get a picture of him dumping out all of the blocks but the little turkey was so quick I couldn't catch him. He is insane with blocks. In fact this year I sent out an email requesting that the family please donate money to the Childrens Miracle Network instead of buying my spoiled child more gifts. I added a special disclaimer begging PLEASE NO MORE BLOCKS WITH SHARP EDGES. My feet are so miserable from stepping on them and my back is killing me from the hours I spend picking up said blocks. This year he received at least four sets of blocks all teeny and easly spreadable across a floor.
So here is a picture of Brandon and I at the pumpkin patch. It was his first one ever. IT was pretty cool. he liked to sit on the big pumpkins and throw all the little ones in other peoples wheel barrows, barrols, barol (hmmm no clue how to spell that).


And finally this is my little Superman. He had the cutest little cape that snapped on the back of his outfit and he loved it. My little guy might be the cutest little guy I've ever seen. I love him so much.


Today he started tip toeing around and it is soo funny. If he was a girl I would say he looks like a little princess but what do I say about a boy tip toeing. Anyway he is my life and I am so happy to have had him.

The question of TWO

So Emery wrote about this a few weeks ago and I find it amusing that all new moms seem to always be dealing with the question of two. Don't people know that raising a baby or a toddler is hard enough with out them always bugging you about when you will have another. Its as though the first one wasn't good enough for them. You can't believe how many times I sign on Myspace and see comments asking me when I will be "having another little peanut" or so on. Its frustrating because when I respond that I am not ready or that I maybe never want a second one I am attacked. I get responses like "What, Why, but you make such cute babies, or even You have to have another one." I HAVE to? Says who? If I don't is the world going to come crashing down? Hmmmmm. The problem about this is that with every one bothering me its like I never got to take the time to think about it when I was ready. People kept forcing me to think about it at a time when having a second child seemed preposterous. Because I was being forced to think about it of course my answer was always HELL NO I can't handle two. Or how do you love the second one as much. But as time has gone by and I've been allowed to be alone with my thoughts I have come to see that every mom faces those same questions. I'm sure moms wonder how they can love the fourth child as much as the first three. But people who have twins love both kids and just because they have two at once doesn't mean I can't love two born at different times right? I still don't think I'm ready to speak about this in person but I think I'm finally okay to blog about it. So here goes. I think I'm ready to entertain the idea of a second child. I was an only child and although it had its benefits like being spoiled and having all my moms attention it also had its down falls. Like having all my moms attention. I imagine I would have gotten in far less trouble if I wasn't all she had to concentrate on. I have some apprehensions though. My biggest one is that I bring my son to work with me. While this has been a wonderful experience it has also been very challenging on the days he was teething or cranky for whatever reason because my mom (who I work with) yells at me about how hard it is on her to have him here. So I'm left wondering could I really bring two kids to work. The thing is that I refuse to put my son in day care until he is old enough to speak and tell me what happened while he was there. I know I know go ahead and tell me I'm nuts and that I need to let go a little. Say it all you want and I'll say NO I DON"T he is my baby I don't need to let go at all. So there is my biggest concern. Today at work my son is running around screaming and being very mad at everyone. I can't imagine having that happen at the same time a new born is screaming for food. Really that is my biggest concern. The only other concern I have is whether I will be able to handle it mentally. I'm not going to lie there are times when my son makes me so crazy I want to crawl in a hole and hide, or throw him in a hole. But I always snap out of it and realize how much I love him. After reading a lot of mommy blogs I have started to see that I"m not the only mom out there that gets annoyed with their kid. I have friends who seem to have never experienced the urge to run away from it all and I have friends whose kids have never reduced them to tears from being overwhelmed. Again I find myself wondering if they really tell the truth or if some moms are just more stable then me. So blogger friends I am going to put this out to you. If you have two kids is it worth it. Do you handle it all. Would you do it again? The part that makes me want to have a second kid the most is the fact that I know I can do it better the second time. The second time around I will know that it is okay to put the baby down and let them self sooth. I will know that its okay if they have bottles sometimes instead of alway putting them on the boob. I will know that its okay if they sleep alone and not with me. I want to try again and do it better the second time around. So here are the questions weighing most on my mind

1. Is it okay to have another kid so they have a friend or will he be fine alone

2. Do you really love the second one as much as the first

3. Is it okay if you do things different with the second child, like not bringing them to bed or not breastfeeding as long, or letting them self sooth

4. will doing things different as stated above cause one child to feel less loved because they couldn't sleep in your bed

head, shoulder, knees and NOSE

I remember the day my son found his fingers and the day he found his belly button. The day he found his pee pee was another memory. But last week he found his nose. He didn't point to it, or squish it or mash it, he stuck his finger in it. Awww man. Immediately after he figured out his finger went in his nose he also discovered it went in his mouth. He thinks that the best time to do that is directly after pulling it from his nose. My husband thinks this is great and laughs about it. I know its normal but still only 15 months and already so grown up. But Saturday he hit a whole new level of cute. He was playing with my husband and he got turned up side down and my husband saw that he had a huge booger in his nose. He loudly declared (like always) "Go show this booger to your mom ," (loosely translated, Shannon get the booger cuz I'm to scared to do it.) So I grab him and get into booger picking position and discover that there is no booger. NO there is a piece of toast shoved up there. GREAT even better. When did he do that? I swear one of us was with him the whole time he had the toast. So it goes I now spend my days periodically turning my son upside down to check his nose for random objects. Ahhhh these are the days of my life.

A FAMILY PHOTO PERHAPS

Regret? ? ?

Last night I was driving home from a night out with a friend. I can't remember exactly what we were talking about when out of nowhere she asked me if I regretted getting married. HUH? I immediately answered NO. Of course I didn't. But as we drove on I pondered her question. I felt that I needed to answer her question better. You see my friend is still single. She can still play the game and enjoy flirtations with guys. I explained to her that I think that more then anything I simply miss being desired. I miss going to a bar and having a guy offer me a drink. I told her how I had told my husband this certain song reminded me of an old flame Kylen. Kylen and I met my freshman year. We started out as friends with benefits and a few times in the years that passed he would ask me if I wanted anything more serious and I always declined. Years later I understood that he regretted not making an effort to be more serious with me. The thing about Kylen is that he is gorgeous. He was voted most irresistible. All the girls wanted him and I had him. I always felt so proud when people knew that I was messing around with him. Every time I hear this song I think of how I was once desired by the most desirable guy in School. I miss that. I miss knowing that I can bat my eyes and have guys turn to mush around me. BUT would I give up my marriage and my son to go back to being that person? NO. I put that song on my I pod and I take it to the gym with me now. When it comes on it reminds me why I'm there. It reminds me that I want to look so good that even my own husband will swoon when I bat my eyelashes or look at him from across the room. The thought of regretting my marriage was jarring to me. Of course I didn't. When I came home that night I bent down to kiss my husband goodnight and I could smell his skin on his neck as I kissed him. It smelled so good that I lingered and kissed him a few more times. I thought to myself how I would never change that. I would never give up having someone whose smell was so familiar and yet so exciting at the same time. No matter how bad I miss the game and I miss being desired I would never take that life over mine. Every girl wants to be beautiful and we all want to be looked at and swooned over. Can I have that while being married? Sure. Of course. Because the truth is when you go somewhere and a guy checks you out it makes your whole day. Chances are you'll be so happy that your husband may even see the benefits from that. But give up the delicious smell of my husbands neck for it, no way. I guess that we all need to know the line between flirtation and forbidden. I asked my husband the other day if he was still attracted to me or if he was still here simply because he loved me. He kind of laughed at me and explained that you wouldn't stay married to a person you weren't attracted to. In my head I thought how wrong that was. I know people who stay somewhere because they are comfortable or because they are afraid of trying to find someone better. Or worse afraid that they will never find someone again at all. After last night I was left to wonder, do people really regret their marriages so early on? I know a friend whose husband once said numerous times in one night that they had gotten married to young. They are now getting divorced. Did I do the same thing. Had I gotten married to young? Or is it simply that they wouldn't have worked out no matter when they were married? I can't imagine having waited until I was older to have what I have now. Why on earth would anyone rather be out sleeping around and jumping from guy to guy when they could have someone to come home to every night? I can't imagine not knowing someone so well that I would recognize his smell with my eyes closed. I can't imagine that people would rather play the game then have someone to come home to and play games with. Do we all have my kind of marriage? I have someone familiar. We always know what the other one will say with out saying it. How cliche right? But it is true. I can't even think of how many times I will just change the look on my face and my husband will say don't even say it I already know what your thinking. He is always right to. Is every marriage that way. Do you all read each others minds? What about the other things. My husband knows what I would order off almost any menu. He knows my shoe size when we go bowling. He knows that I get excited by the small stuff. He knows I want a picture of everything and remembers the camera when I forget it. He knows that I like splenda in my tea and I hate when they give me lemon. He knows I make a silly smile when he holds my hand in public so he watches me each time he does it. He knows that desert is my favorite part of a meal and he doesn't criticize me for it. He knows that I love restaurant ranch more then store ranch. He knows that I talk in my sleep and I fight back with him when he tells me I'm talking in my sleep. He knows what day I start my period and what day before that he should start to avoid me. Does every husband know these things or did I just luck out with mine. I began to wonder if my friend were in a relationship would she still have asked me if I regretted getting married. Or would she have been in the kind of relationship that a person might regret. I know most people get married and tell themselves its forever but I really feel that way. I really imagine my whole life with the guy I married. I imagine being 80 and still holding hands. I can't say we don't fight. And I can't even say that I haven't had days where I thought I just wanted to end it all. But if I never had a day where I wanted to end it I would never have a day where I realized why I never wanted it to end. So I put this out there for all of my married friends. Instead of asking you if you regret your marriage I want you to think of all of the reasons you don't. Make a list of them in your head and then tuck it away. Then, next time you have a fight and you begin to question your choices pull that list out and remember. Remember its always best to concentrate on the good rather then the bad. Its better to put effort into thinking happy thoughts then to put no effort into being mad. Every time my husband and I fight after I finish thinking it could be the end I think of everything I would miss. That list is huge. And its the small stuff in that list that is more important. Small stuff like the smell of his neck when I kiss him goodnight at night. Do I regret getting married? NO WAY.

Sex and high school

I’m sitting here recalling the day I lost my virginity. I started talking to a new friend and we began sharing stories from high school and like those conversations always do it quickly turned to sex. We compared notes about when and where it happened. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 14. My best friends Katie and Ginger and I had gone to the rodeo. That is where I met him. His name was Tim. He was so gorgeous. He had the bluest eyes I have ever seen. Even today I’ve never seen eyes so blue. He had a mustache too. Don’t ask why but I’ve always had a thing for guys with facial hair. Tim and I start talking and exchange numbers. Before I knew it we were talking all the time and making plans to meet up. We meet up a few times and one day a few weeks after school started I was hanging out at Katie’s and Tim called. He told me he was gong to drive up there and see me but wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to “disappoint” when he showed up. Okkkkkkkay what do I do with that. So he comes over and we retreat up to Katie’s room. He asks me if this is what I really want and I say yes because of course I don’t want to have to “disappoint” him. He pulls out and condom and it doesn’t hurt as bad as I heard it would. It was odd though because he wouldn’t just get it over with. This guy was like the energizer bunny. He wanted to show me this move and that move and at one point he propped my bare ass up in Katie’s window and was fucking me from there. I couldn’t believe his stamina. Finally it was over. This was bad though because he set the standards so high for all the guys who came after him. I asked him why he tried so many different things and he replied, “If I’m going to teach you I’m going to teach you right.” I guess it ended up being beneficial for every guy who came after him but of course at that time I sure didn’t know it. Tim and I continued to sneak off here and there and fuck in the backseat of his orange Bronco but that was it. We were never serious and to this day we are still friendly with each other as if he didn’t take my virginity and I didn’t pine over him for hours and hours in high school. Everyone in school knew about Tim. Everyone in my town knew about it. Everyone but my parents. My mom found out the truth many years later. Tim kind of set the tone for the next couple years of high school. One of the most memorable things from that time is the famous “G” incident. I can’t believe nearly ten years later I still hear about this or get asked about it. So I figure why not take the chance to set this record straight. Here is what really happened that day.
Oh my god did you hear she slept with him on the”G”?

I know I can’t believe it what a skank.

Oooh there’s Alison lets go tell her.

That conversation was a conversation that took place many times a day for a few weeks in high school. You see I was a cheerleader. There was a boy and he played football. We were both freshmen that year and we had a little crush going. That day after class and before practice I went to the back of the school and sat in the teachers parking lot with him while he smoked a cigarette. We kissed and laughed and talked and then I realized I was about fifteen minutes late to practice. I took off running in my barely there practice clothes and arrived in time to not get in too much trouble. I joked to a friend that I had been screwing the guy out back. The head cheerleader overheard and ran off to kiss the coaches ass and tell her. The coach told me to meet her after practice to talk. I did and she informed me she had told the principal and my mom was coming and they were going to tell her what I did. Now the normal person would say “Hey I didn’t do this it’s a rumor.” Not me. I figured that since I had already lost my virginity a few months later why not let my mom find out now since she actually like this guy. So I told her. It was horrible. The first thing she did was ask me, “Did you cum?” WHAT!!! This was worse then I thought. She screamed at me the rest of the way home and then walked in and said tell your dad what you did. So I told him I had sex. His response was worse then my moms. “You did not have sex. If you are going to start doing adult things then you should talk like an adult, you fucked someone, you didn’t have sex you fucked!” Wow this was worse then I thought. So I went to my room to think about what I did and stayed there until it was time to go to school the next day.

 My city does this ridiculous little thing where they put giant white letters for the area you are in on the nearest mountain. We were in Galena Forest so that would explain the giant “G” right above our school. The next morning when I walked into school people were instantly talking about how he and Shannon had fucked on the “G”. Did I mention the G was miles away from the school? People were convinced that the boy and I had walked all the way up there, fucked and made it back to practice in fifteen minutes. The track team even went around telling everyone that they had pictures of it. Didn’t you know the track team carried cameras to all of their practices? So the guy and I decided hey, people are going to think what they want so let them. We didn’t deny it but we didn’t say it happened either. We kind of just laughed and fucked with everyone’s mind. It was awesome. Years later I still hear stories about a girl who had sex on the “G”. That right folks I’m famous for something I never even did. A few months later he and I figured since everyone thought we had sex we might as well go ahead and do it. We messed around for a while but it was nothing serious, just two kids getting it on. So many rumors have swirled around about that day. Everyone had their own version. People claimed to have photos but they never seemed to surface. Some people even said I had gotten pregnant and some people said that there was even more then one guy.

So often I wonder why I didn’t just deny it from the start. Why I didn’t let my mom go on thinking I was a virgin. The honest truth is that it really never crossed my mind to tell the coach that it wasn’t true. I just owned up to something I had never done. I guess that describes me to a T. I was always being whoever someone else wanted me to be. It was so much easier for the school to think I was just that slut Shannon. It was easier to be hated by girls then have to let someone in and trust them. See that is the interesting part of who I was. No matter how many guys I screwed I never got close to more then two of them. I also only had two close girl friends. But even they didn’t know who I was. They just saw the School Shannon. The one who shook her ass when she walked. The one who wore tight jeans and short shirts and had her hair done and looked just right. I was a bitch. If I liked your boyfriend I took him. If I didn’t like your boyfriend but I didn’t like you either I still took him. Why was I like this? I was like this because of the way my home life was. Don’t get me wrong I had a great home life. I got anything I wanted and I had two parents who loved me more then most parents do. What I refer to is my moms obsession with beauty and weight. I’ll save that for another blog though because its long and it will just bring me down. The funny thing is that I don’t regret any of the things I did in high school, or should I say any of the people I did. I had fun. I learned things. I experienced life. I’m not one of those people who stayed in one relationship and then grew up and got married and spent the rest of my life wondering what the world is like. I look at all of my friends who are now spending their twenties trying to catch up and party and pretend like they are not doing things they looked down on me for doing in high school. I am amused at how it is somehow okay for them to behave like this just because they are older now and not in high school. On the other hand I am just as amused as I begin making friends with people and they confide in me that they were just the same as I was in school. People who spent their days in school screwing around and behaving just like me but doing it in secret. These people would keep all their secrets inside and turn around and come to school and call me a slut and disapprove of me. All they were really doing was disapproving of themselves. You see I had one friend who was like me. She never once called me names because she was like me and she understood that it was about fun not about being ashamed. So when these other girls would talk shit to me they should have just gone home and confronted their own feelings. They should have learned to accept who they were like I had. So, my advice for todays blog. Don’t rag on people for being like you. Instead go home and figure out if their behavior only upsets you because you are ashamed of your own similar behaviors. Sit down and figure out if maybe you need to change your ways. Maybe you need to start doing something different to make yourself happy. Sometimes change can be scary but its necessary. I know I said I had no regrets about high school but that isn’t true. I have one. I regret not branching out and becoming friends with who I really wanted to be friends with. Had I done that I never would have had to sleep around and be a bitch because those friends would have accepted me for who I was instead of accepting me for who I wanted to be. I’ve made friends with those people now so I can tell you. It is never to late to change. It may be scary but never to late. Go on make the change, be the person you really want to be.


I started to change the names in this story but I changed my mind. If there are any name mistakes its because I didn't fix all the errors.

MONSTER MADNESS

OKAY BEWARE FOLKS. THESE PICTURES MAY CAUSE YOU TO RUN TO THE STORE AND PURCHASE CHOCOLATE. IF YOU ARE ON A DIET I STRICTLY ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ THESE. ALSO EXPECT TO LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF.

Motherhood = Choose your own adventure

Do you remember those choose your own adventure books from elementary school? They were so cool. You got to the end of the chapter and you got to pick how you wanted the story to end by deciding which page to flip to. I've discovered taht is exactly how being a mom is. Every day is a choose your own adventure. There are a million ways my day could end each night. For instance. I've learned that getting my son out of the house and into the garage every morning has about 5 adventures alone. First I get him dressed then I grab his shoes and he immediatly takes off running. Do I A: Chase him and force his shoes on or B: Let him leave the house with out shoes? A always wins. So it begins around and around in circles we go till I finally capture him and hold his wiggling body down enough to get his shoes on. This same adventure occurs with his jacket. Then we leave and go into the wonderland known as the garage. He jumps of the bottom step and a new adventure begins this is known as running circles around my car while I try and catch him to get him in do I A: let him run around and around or B: head him of at the pass and force him into the car? Usually I let him get one lap in and thats it. But then it happens. The wagon catches his eye and zoooom he's off to try and open the little door and crawl in, do I A: Drag him away and put him in the car or B: put him in the wagon and take him for a short walk? For the most part B wins if the weather is nice. So now we are off down the street then up the street then back in the garage to park the wagon till tomorrows escapades. So he is in the car and we are off and running. Other things are adventures. Take this morning. I needed a shower so I locked the bedroom door gave him his milk and put him in my bed to watch tellitubbies. This usually works well. So I'm in the shower and I'm close to being done I'm shaved and scrubbed just gotta do my hair. Every couple minutes I look out the door into the mirror that reflects on my bed and we share a smile. Uh Oh I see him lean over and reach for something. Its the notepad and pen on the side of my husbands nightstand. Double Oh no he's pulled the lid off the pen. Do I A: Jump out of the shower run soaking across the carpeted bathroom floor into the room to grab the pen and leave him there screaming or B: hope and pray he gets bored and sets the pen down. I choose B and that was a mistake. I got out of the shower to find my sons hand completly covered in purple scribble along with his food and his eye. I venture farther and find purple pen scribbled on my sheets and all over the notepad along with half of his chocolate milk dumped onto the sheets. Now I'm rushing to pull the sheets off the bed smoosh them in the washer and get that going. Now its time to get the kid dressed which means chasing him through the kitchen and into his room. Do I A: Give up and crawl back into bed or B: give up and wait till I trick him to coming to me and shove the shirt over his head? B I sit and wait, and wait and wait. Finally I catch the little monkey and try try try to squeeze his giant head through the impossibly small neck hole on his shirt. Success. Now I just have to convince him to wear his jacket. The whole cycle begins again. Don't even get me started on all the adventures we have each day at work. There was a nice little one today. He likes to come potty with mommy. So off we go to the potty I sit down to do my business and he opens his wipe warmer and starts pulling out each wipe. This is usual until he figures out "I can squeeze these and make water come out." Now he is pulling out each wipe, squeezing the water on the floor and squeeling with delight. Do I A: Jump off the toilet and chase him with my pants around my ankles or B: stare helplessly. I choose B finish tinkling and rush to pull up my pants (folding my panty liner over in the process, that is going to hurt later to pull of) and start grabbing baby wipes and shoving them back in the warmer. He is one step ahead he runs to the first aid cabinet and grabs a box of bandaids and chucks it and then grabs a handful of tongue supressers and scatters them everywhere before I can even say Huh with a blank how does my son do this stare on my face. Looking back at the day (its only 9:41 AM) I"m thinking maybe I need to think harder about my choices when choosing my daily adventures. Woe is me. By the way later tonight I will be uploading pictures of my purple son.

Marriage 101

Did you know that you can save a marriage that isn't even in trouble? I didn't either, until I did. Two things happened. The first thing that happened is that someone I know is considering getting a divorce. I noticed that after listening to her not only did I realize how good what I have is I also started thinking of all of the things that could possibly lead us down the path to divorce. On a long drive home Rob and I started talking and I started asking him about things that bothered him and vice versa. We talked about things that we wanted out of the marriage and things that would make us both even happier. It was silly little things like me saying that I wanted a husband who filled up my gas tank and washed my car. He said that he wanted me to push down the stuff in the trash when I piled things up in there. Little things that I'm betting after years could turn into huge problems. The other thing we changed was finding Rob a new job. Rob had a great job. It paid good and it was stable. The only problem is that he had to work nights, weekends and be out of town for a week or so at a time. This was so hard because we have a baby and Rob barely got to see him. However the hardest part was that I am petrified of the dark and being home alone at night was starting to take a toll on my sanity. Rob and I barely saw each other and when we did it seemed like it was just enough to gripe about our days and say goodbye again. One day I realized this had to stop and I found him a new job. It's only been two weeks now but the change is gigantic. We eat dinner together every night, we don’t rush to spend time on the weekends and we don't seem to have nearly as much to argue about. Not to mention with all of his free time this weekend he washed my car and got my oil changed. I've noticed that even though we are around each other much more we actually enjoy being together. Like I said our marriage was no where near in trouble but I feel like these two things saved us from going to a place anytime soon that could take us there. I know I've only been married for two years but I feel like I still have some good words of wisdom to hand out.

The biggest thing of all that I attribute my marriage to is the ability to fight. Most couples never fight or they keep it a secret that they do like they will be considered tainted for having a fight. That is right people I’m admitting here and now that my husband and I fight and argue. We get in fights and stop talking or yell and shout and so on. It's amazing. If you are in the kind of person that keeps everything bottled up inside I feel so bad for you. I can’t imagine not speaking my mind. I can't imagine being angry for so long that I wake up one morning wondering If I’ve been happy all along because I can't remember. On the flip side imagine if you are married to that person. Imagine having your spouse just blow up on you one day and getting unbelievable angry with you. I bet the first thing you would say is that you wished they would have told you the things that were bothering them all along so you could fix them. Sometimes one of the hardest things to do in a relationship is to see what you are doing wrong. The easiest way for me to do this is to look at my husband and wonder what if he was treating me the way I'm acting how would I like it. Could you just imagine waking up one day and finding out that your spouse has been unhappy for years and never bothered to tell you? This is why I say that fighting is amazingly important in a relationship. I always giggle when I hear people say they don't fight and I giggle even more when people just pretend like they are perfect.

Something else that I think is important is to have separate lives, interests and hobbies with in your marriage. If you do every single thing together you will get so bored with each other. For instance I love to scrapbook and Rob loves to go shooting. I don't ask him to come with me and neither does he. Everyone needs to have a place they can go and just be with themselves. Even if it is just reading a book in a different room you need a place. How does that saying go, “How can I miss you if you won't go away”. I love this saying. It speaks so much truth. If your husband or wife is always there even if you enjoy their company you will never learn to be alone or have the time to figure out things that may be bothering you.

Another thing that I find important is to really know you. If something is bothering you, you need to know how to recognize that. If you spend eternity thinking that nothing is wrong or ignoring the wrong, you will be in for a major disaster some day. Sometimes you need to take some time out and ask yourself if everything is okay. Find out if there is something bothering you that you are afraid to admit. When you do figure out if something is bothering you then find out how to fix it right away. If it is a person then confront them. If it is your husband let him know. Let him know that it bothers you that he never eats his vegetables. Even if he doesn’t change at least you aren't bottling it up.

The last thing that I think is important is to pay attention to your spouse's responses. If you tell them I don't like when you drink or when you don’t eat your vegetables and he does nothing about it you need to re-evaluate your relationship. Having the courage to tell a person what is bothering you means having the courage to move on when they don't care enough to change. Sometimes you have to consider how important the thing you are asking them to change is for them. If you are asking them to change an important part of their life then you better make sure that you are going to be able to live with someone who is unhappy. Realize that as unhappy as you were living with them the way they were they are now going to be just as unhappy living the way you want. So pick your battles but don't let anything go unsaid. Make things clear from the start but allow that person to make their decision. Never threaten them with actions you are afraid to follow this will only make them feel angry towards you. You don't want them feeling like every time things don't go your way you are going to threaten them. But you also don’t want them feeling like they can keep gong bad because you are full of empty threats.

I hope my advice is helpful. I hope that you can learn from it. I hope you won't be afraid to do the right thing and find out how to be happy.

Remember a marriage doesn't have to be in trouble to be saved. Live each day of your marriage like its your first. Work on your marriage every single day. It is worth working on. Remember to hold hands every day, to give soft kisses for no reason, to kiss goodnight every night, to know that it's okay to go to bed mad. Remember to look into each others eyes, to make each other laugh and to touch each other for no reason. Remember loving someone isn't just a word it’s a whole state of mind, its actions and embraces, words and thoughts. Remember you love someone with your whole entire being.

Before I was a mom

I got this emailed to me the other day and it made me get all boohoo so I'll share

BEFORE I WAS A MOM

I made and ate hot meals
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom-
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.I brushed my hair and teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom-
I cleaned my house each day.I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

Before I was a Mom-
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom-
I had never been: puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on or peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom-
I never held down a screaming child so that the doctors could to tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours, at night, watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom-
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom-
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could be to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom-
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night, every 10 minutes
To make sure all was okay.
I never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much.