Oh and about that

No I didn't just give up on the clusterfuck house blog. The insurance company and the builder have been goign through the house better to make sure they have it all figured out and they have enough money set aside. The number now is pretty large I'm stunned it could get bigger. I will post as soon as I have more pictures!

huh, whats that now

* The saddest thing ever = putting the cookie in your mouth, chewing it up and then realizing your out of milk

* I believe there is a huge difference between lies, and things you just don't tell your mom. The same way that I believe it is totally okay to tell a lie in situations like, "No honey your dad and I never have sex anymore." Those kinds of lies are juuuust fine

* I'm trying to run around a mountain. So far from my house around the mountain (.74 miles for the mountain) and back it takes me a whopping 15 minutes. I want to get to a 10 minute mile as soon as possible

* I hate Libra on Big Brother. What kind of piece of shit mom leaves her fucking 4 month old babies behind? She's obviously not breast feeding.

* I've had my Iphone for about a month now. I still want to tuck it under my pillow and sleep with it at night because I love it so much.

* In the last 8 days I have received chocolate three times. Mathers, Shawna and Stephanie brought me (or mailed) me chocolate. I love people!

* I'm exhausted but I can't sleep because I exercised to close to bedtime and I'm all hyped up.

* The baby is asleep so I have to go lay down and cuddle my husband for like 14 seconds before he wakes up.

3

Friday Brandon turned 3. He had 3 celebrations too! Each one was hard for me. It was hard as he held up three tiny fingers telling everyone he was THREE NOW. It was hard as he interacted with the kids like a big boy. Hard when someone asked him to smile and take a picture with mom and instead he chose to give me a big cake filled kiss. I knew parenting was hard, but I never knew how hard it would be to have your kids grow up. I spent so many years wishing time would just hurry up and now I wish it would just slow the fuck down.

I have a bajillion pictures, and they are on my flickr. I will put up a few of my favorites on here. This weekend was amazing. Brandons big birthday party was a huge success. Everyone who was important to me showed up. Every one of my husbands friends came, and almost all of mine came. Our families came and even some kids from school. Shawna even drove all the way down from Eurika. Friday we went to dinner with her, her husband and her daughter. Her daughter was so well behaved, in fact she behaved better then Codi who was on a mission to destroy the table.

My favorite part of the weekend was just seeing how extrodinarily happy Brandon was. He had his little friends there, even one from school. He got to drive them all around in his new Jeep. All of the kids got their faces painted and tattoos from the pirate entertainer who showed up. Even the adults got tattoos and stuff which just made the atmosphere so much fun.

I know I'm supposed to write some long drawn out letter to Brandon on his third birthday but I think first I need to get my emotions in check. I'm having such a hard time with him being 3. I hate wathing him grow so old. Knowing that soon I'll just be mom. Not mommy come hold me, but MOM leave me alone your old and a girl.

I guess if I had to say something to him on his birthday it would simply be that I love him. It's always that. It is always how much I love him. No matter how much we fight, or how often I yell. How many time outs he has, in the end it comes down to one fact, I love that boy. I love him for who he made me. I love him for saving me. I love him for helping me realize each day that I want to be a better person. I love him for his tiny features. I love him for his boisterous attitude. I love him for being so brilliantly different. I love him for being smarter then me even at 3. I love every part of that child. I love my little Brandon. He will always be my LITTLE boy. Even when he is taller then me. Even when he's old. Even when he has little boys of his own, he is going to be MY little boy.

Happy birthday my sweet little Brandon. I love you more then your ever going to know.

And yes, there may have even been a water fight. I might have started it. And there is a rumor that I TOTALLY LOST!

Live blogging

I love when your at a restaraunt and you go pee only to get in sit down per AND THEN realize both rolls of toilet paper are gone. I looooove wiping with seat covers.

Sent from my iPhone

Bullets

• I think I have an ear infection OWWW

• Brandon started the day by promptly ripping something from his brothers hands

• He's now taken about 75 things from him in an hour

• Last night at Robs softball game I had to run out onto the field and coerce my child to come out of left field because he thought it was funny to run out and mess up the game

• Brandon just said something and my response was to say, "Please????" His response instead of saying please for what he wanted was to say, "stop yelling to me."

• Every morning he gets up to the kitchen table, sits down ready to eat and then promptly jumps up and realizes OH SHIT I HAVE TO PEE! I wonder when he will think to pee first
  

• Codi just crawled across the room, pulled up on the TV stand, turned around smiled at me with his tongue out, and promptly made a squirting noise from his butt. The kind of noise that only happens when my husband isn't home

• The squirting just turned into a sort of gurgling noise and now I'm am actually afraid.

• And now I have to end the post because the other one is in the bathroom screaming MOMMY COME WIPE MY BUTT

• So who do I get first, the one with poop in the toilet or the one with poop in his butt

• The life choices us mommies have to make huh!
  

Music

Gone ahead and put music back on. Beware if your working to turn your volume down. Or just fuck it AND ROCK ON!

Acecepting who I am

When I started this blog I had no idea what blogging really was. I was a new young mom and I had a lot of things to talk about. Questions, antidotes and humorous mommy things to discuss. Before I knew it, I woke up and found myself a "mommy blogger." For a long time I delighted in being a "mommy blogger." I was good at it, possibly because my child seems to be more monsterous then most of yours but also because I have no qualms about embarrassing myself. I enjoyed being a "mommy blogger (oh fuck it I'm already sick of using quotes) mostly because I loved reading comments that I wasn't alone. In real life face to face women often find it hard to admit their child isn't perfect. They find it hard to say,
"you know, I'm really having a bad day today. My son poured pink robitussin all over my $150.00 bed sheet then sopped it up with tissue which he stuck to the walls and dresser, then poured it all over my earplugs and carpet. While I was cleaning that up my son pulled all his coats off his wall, buried his brother, tipped over his chairs, threw his socks at the fan and filled a bucket with water and poured it over him and his brother. While I cleaned that he dumped cheetos all over the table then poured milk over them in an attempt to clean it up. After all that I was minding my own business brushing my teeth when I turned around to see my son opening up all my girl products and sticking them all over the walls, the toilet AND HIS BROTHER. He then opened a crest white strip I didnt even know I had and ate it."**

You never hear that in real life. You also don't hear about how some moms lose it. They yell, they get mad, they say angry things and put their kid in time out. But, you come here, to the blog world and you find clarity. You see your not alone and it's relaxing and refreshing and fucking relieving.

After a while I started reading negative things about mommy bloggers. Mommy blogger became a stigma. It was like a disease. I noticed people saying, "oh don't read them, they are just mommy bloggers." So I shied away. I backed down from the mommy gig and made it more about me. I stopped posting as often because with out my kids, I'm really nothing. I started fearing people would peg me for a mommy blogger and stop reading me. At the same time I noticed my comments winding down. My friends, my blogger buddies were moms. I suspect I became someone they could no longer relate to. I think I got caught up wanting to please asshole people out there who have something against being a mom and being a blogger. Those people who are to selfish to have kids and appreciate the humor in a good poop story. People who think they are above the rest of us because they write about bigger better more important things like sex drugs and rock n roll.

Shit, my version of sex is cramming it in when the baby sleeps, or figuring out where and how to do it while the baby sleeps in the center of my bed. My version of drugs is a good stiff one a day followed with a Vitamin C chaser. My version of Rock N Roll is viewed daily on my Yahoo messenger by my friends, just ask how often I get laughed at for blasting "the wheels on the bus at work."

So what. I'm a geek. I'm a mom. I have tissue, and wipes, and a dirty diaper in my purse.

I AM A MOM!!!!!! I'm sick of conforming to what people want me to be. I'm tired of being embarrassed of who I am. I'm a mom. My kids do stupid shit daily. I fuck up as a parent daily. I take really cute pictures of my boys. I AM A MOM!

I've been holding back great pictures of the boys, for fear that people would click away because I was deemed a mommy blog. I've held back hysterical stories about poop, and about daycare, and boogers, and POOP for fear that people would remove me from their blog roll because I was a lowly mommy blogger.

But no more. The photos are returning. The tales of how misguided I am are coming back. The stories about how much I struggle with being a good mom will return. The antics of all the poop and boogers and vomit shall come back with a vengeance.

I know my audience. I know my friends. I know who out there has my back. If you don't want to read me because I"m a mommy blogger THEN GO THE FUCK AWAY AND STOP READING.

I am a mommy blogger HEAR ME ROAR!

**This was my morning this morning

What I'm wearing and, the walky walker

I'm totally amused that I'm wearing very expensive Lucky Jeans, with very cheap Payless shoes.

But dude THEY ARE CUTE!

Pay not mind to my fat sausage toes...or the smiley baby under me. Speaking of baby, look who is walking using his pushy mabob

He gets really crazy in his walker. He runs and goes backwards and chases you. He's loving his little push cart though.

Note to self

Do not wear a white shirt to work if you plan to give your child a tiny popcicle!

I found these at the store last night. They are maybe two inches big. I picked them up because 3 of them are only 45 calories and I thought it would be a fun work treat. Then I thought they would be perfect size for Codi. He loved them and I think they helped his teething!

What we will now refer to as "THE WALK OF DEATH!"

Earlier last week Ginger and I were talking about this weekend.  We had plans to go shopping for Rob and Brandon's birthday parties. (Side note we got cool shit for Robs party, and I'm dying to post pictures already).  She had mentioned that she wouldn't be able to go until 10:00 because she had to walk her dog.  Friday night I get the bright idea to tell her I'll go on the walk with her.  She mentions she is going to walk the hill at the park.  I said sure okay I'll just throw Codi in the Jeep stroller and it will be fun.  

Saturday morning Ginger calls me and tells me that shes on her way.  Rob is still sleeping and now I realize I have to take both boys.  So I stick Codi in the Moby and Brandon in the stroller and set off to the park.  

Then I see the hill.  One look at it and I'm already tired.  In fact looking at it felt like a work out.  Ginger asks if I want her to take the stroller since I already have an extra 17 pounds strapped to me.  I'm like, "noooooo I can handle this."  So off we go.  Two and a half feet into the hill my ass starts screaming at me to turn back now.  7 feet into the hill my arms begin to cry and threaten decapitation if I don't turn back.  

Finally we got up the hill and I breathed.  Then I looked up and saw a second big fucking hill.  Ginger, trying to be helpful said that if I wanted we could go to the left which was a smaller hill instead of going up the very. steep. other. hill!  My reply was, "dude, how will I live with myself if I pick the easy route?"  She was like, "Shannon come on you have two kids and at least 50 lbs of extra weight, it is fine to pick the smaller hill."  

Alas, the stubborn side of me came out and after initially heading towards wussy hill I turned around and said, "FUCK IT we are going up the DEATH HILL."  And off we went.  I would be lying if I didn't say that I had to stop a couple times because that shit was hard.  However as soon as I made it to the top of the hill Brandon decided he wanted out of the stroller.  Little shit!  I took Codi out of the Moby and plopped him into the stroller and Brandon happily chased Gingers dog around the trails.  

At this point we ran into this lady who came chasing after us asking Ginger to put her dog on the leash because they had a "reactionary dog."  She then went on to say, "it's not a mean dog, just protective and reactionary."  We put Gingers dog on the leash and then saw this lady running about a half mile back to her husband and dog and realized we had some time so we took the dog back off the leash.  A little while later they catch us and Ginger is leashing her dog again.  The husband comes up to me and starts prattling on about how leashes are laws and we should have our dog on a leash at all times.  As he is doing this his, "nice, only reactionary dog" is muzzled and jumping about growling and foaming at the mouth.  Picture the dog in the movie KUJO only fluffier and scarier.  I get pissed off and say, "maybe a dog like that doesn't belong on a hill like this."  After all there are tons of kids and runners around and it doesn't seem safe.  The guy totally loses his shit and starts screaming at me, at which point the tired, sore, angry part of me comes out and I said, "you know what, the dog is leashed how about you keep walking and just shut up." (I only ONLY say shut up if I'm mad, and the fact that this guy just came up yelling about laws and shit when we were clearly leashing the dog and moving really really made me angry."  So the he retorts, "give me your name I'm reporting you to the cops."  To which I just laugh and said, "honey I have kids not dogs I'm not doing shit wrong so get the fuck out of my face!"  So he moves on to Ginger who is standing 5 feet up the side of the hill off the trail to make room for these people and their dog with her dog leashed and he demands her name and address to report her.  Ginger was like yeah not happing buddy.  To which he starts hollering at me again and I respond with a very mature LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!  I start waving him away with my hand and declare that I am done with this, I don't have anything more to say.  Their dog is still going ape shit and trying to tear Ginger apart and I finally just say, "thats one really nice dog you have there, be one your way now."  I was done.  They then start yelling at another runner whose dog is off the leash.  She's like I have a virtual leash IT'S CALLED MY VOICE!  She was pissed.  Here are two people with two great dogs, on DOG WALKING TRAIL and these people come along with their KUJO scary mother fucker dog and expect us to just bow down to them.  We spent the rest of the walk with Gingers dog on a stupid leash lamenting about how annoying it is that people like that take a dog for a walk on a mountain meant for other dogs.  To me it seems that if their dog is always that awful they would walk him somewhere with out other dogs around, like, I dunno THEIR OWN BACK YARD!

After all the dog chaos my muscles were starting to relax and I was recovering from death hill when suddenly Brandon decides he is now to tired to walk.  Unfortunately Codi is passed out in the stroller and I'm not moving him.  Brandon tries various methods of riding on the stroller even trying to fit into the basket of the stroller.  Finally he decides he wants to sit on my shoulders.  So!  I now have about 27ish pounds in stroller weight (assuming my big ass stroller only weighs about 10 pounds) and a 30 lb child on my shoulders  and we are approaching the second hill.  Once again I think I am going to die.  

800 miles later Brandon gets excited at the option of the park at the bottom and decides to walk.  Ginger, wanting to make him go faster offers to race him.  The next thing I know they are taking off running, and, not wanting to be left 20 feet behind I have no choice but to start running UP HILL WITH A STROLLER!  

We completed the walk and I decided after that, that I had just completed my exercise quota for the next 17 years!  However, I also decided that if I just walked up that hill pushing a stroller with 50 lbs in it once a day (just up the hill not around) I would probably look like a body builder in less then like ooo 2 weeks.  Seriously Sunday when I woke up my upper and lower arms hurt.  My calves hurt.  My thighs hurt.  My ass hurt and even my abs felt worked out.  I am actually thinking of trying to push the stroller up the BIG MASSIVE FUCK ME I'M GOING TO DIE part of the hill daily just to see what it does to me.  

However the entire walk took us 2 hours and I don't have two hours.  I think if I got a double jogging stroller I would be fine but the whole carrying one kid on my shoulders thing SO NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN!