3

Friday Brandon turned 3. He had 3 celebrations too! Each one was hard for me. It was hard as he held up three tiny fingers telling everyone he was THREE NOW. It was hard as he interacted with the kids like a big boy. Hard when someone asked him to smile and take a picture with mom and instead he chose to give me a big cake filled kiss. I knew parenting was hard, but I never knew how hard it would be to have your kids grow up. I spent so many years wishing time would just hurry up and now I wish it would just slow the fuck down.

I have a bajillion pictures, and they are on my flickr. I will put up a few of my favorites on here. This weekend was amazing. Brandons big birthday party was a huge success. Everyone who was important to me showed up. Every one of my husbands friends came, and almost all of mine came. Our families came and even some kids from school. Shawna even drove all the way down from Eurika. Friday we went to dinner with her, her husband and her daughter. Her daughter was so well behaved, in fact she behaved better then Codi who was on a mission to destroy the table.

My favorite part of the weekend was just seeing how extrodinarily happy Brandon was. He had his little friends there, even one from school. He got to drive them all around in his new Jeep. All of the kids got their faces painted and tattoos from the pirate entertainer who showed up. Even the adults got tattoos and stuff which just made the atmosphere so much fun.

I know I'm supposed to write some long drawn out letter to Brandon on his third birthday but I think first I need to get my emotions in check. I'm having such a hard time with him being 3. I hate wathing him grow so old. Knowing that soon I'll just be mom. Not mommy come hold me, but MOM leave me alone your old and a girl.

I guess if I had to say something to him on his birthday it would simply be that I love him. It's always that. It is always how much I love him. No matter how much we fight, or how often I yell. How many time outs he has, in the end it comes down to one fact, I love that boy. I love him for who he made me. I love him for saving me. I love him for helping me realize each day that I want to be a better person. I love him for his tiny features. I love him for his boisterous attitude. I love him for being so brilliantly different. I love him for being smarter then me even at 3. I love every part of that child. I love my little Brandon. He will always be my LITTLE boy. Even when he is taller then me. Even when he's old. Even when he has little boys of his own, he is going to be MY little boy.

Happy birthday my sweet little Brandon. I love you more then your ever going to know.

And yes, there may have even been a water fight. I might have started it. And there is a rumor that I TOTALLY LOST!