Yeah yeah whatever

Soooo as Stephanie so graciously pointed out, I have slacked off on posting from this site for a whole 24 hours and 8 long minutes. Sooorry. Truth is I haven't had much to talk about. I've been fighting with my parents over the house Rob and I are building and it is making me crazy. We started fighting Monday and I've been in a funk about it all week.

My house is a disaster because turning my office into a babies room has created quite the project. Since I'm not allowed to lift much this means now that there are little piles of stuff allllll over my house that my nanny left me with that I can't lift and move. That means there are tons of new little piles for my son to destroy. That means he has strewn about 48 CD's around my house. He found a box with old unopened bill. Do you know what he did. He opened them all and threw about 20 bills in small pieces allllll over my house! He got a hold of a red marker and painted his hands red and then went into the bathroom and dunked his hand in the toilet and smeared red ALL OVER my toilet seat. He found the Playstation games and took them all out of their cases and hid them from Rob. He found a bag of hangers from the dry cleaner and he pealed the paper in one inch pieces off every single hanger threw paper everywhere and then proceeded to throw hangers EVERY WHERE!

At work he has peeled off all the labels on the file cabinets. He fed the dog his breakfast. He fed the dog his vitamins. He fed the dog his lunch. He fed the dog some poop.

Let's see what else. I work for a heating and air conditioning company and it is so hot in my office right now you could melt chocolate on my desk...go figure. Ooh, but I do have ice cream in the freezer. Be right back.

I'm back, seems marble slab doesn't freeze so well. Darn! This shit is frozen rock solid which doesn't sit to well for someone who really has zero patience so is gonna fucking throw this shit at the wall waiting for it to melt.

My husband and I had a little fight the other night. When he got home he came bearing a M&M McFlurry. He is a smart man. He was forgiven instantly.

Fucking bitch ice cream still isn't soft.

I drove to work today and my car says I have 10 miles to go till I run out of gas. I wonder how far I'll push it before I go get gas. Oh yeah, I have a company supplied gas card, so paying for the gas isn't a problem, my laziness is the problem.

Last time I ran out of gas one of those neat high way helper vans pulled up right at the same time as my husband. Didja know if you run out of gas they will give you five gallons free to get you to a gas station..how nifty..to bad husband brought gas so that meant no free gas for me. Rob still laughs at me for having the highway helper guys stop and help me.

Oo ooh I got a bite. Mmmmm mocha caramel goodness.

What a boring job. Could you imagine if your job was to drive up and down the same patch of freeway alllll day long hoping someone breaks down. Sad sad lonely job if you ask me.

That reminds me of a funny memory. One time my cousin and I were driving to California. We were in my moms car. The whole way there these two dorky older guys were flirting with us. So I sped up and left em in the dust. A little ways up the road everyone starts swerving and instead of swerving too I just go ahead and run right over the giant chair in the road. In my moms car. Only problem is, chair gets stuck under the car. Brilliant. So my cousin and I pull over and hop out like two dipshits thinking sure, we'll just pry the chair out. NOPE this shit wasn't moving. So now we are standing on the side of the road with a look on our face like UH DUH. Right at this moment a cop drives by and as he's driving he passes right by us and says on his speaker phone thingy... A TOW TRUCK IS ON THE WAY!

WTF her and I just watch as this cop drives by leaving two girls stranded and tells us he is sending a tow truck. Umm. What if we didn't need a tow truck? What if we were just stopping to stretch, or stopping because, oh I don't know we ran over a chair?

So guess who comes to our rescue? No not mr. tow truck man, instead its the two dorky guys we had made fun of earlier. They end up lifting the front of my car while my cousin beds down and grabs a hold of the chair and I put the car in reverse all at the same time. Walah we were free. We said thanks and hopped in the car and took off leaving them standing their scratching their heads. It was pretty funny. I dunno, maybe you had to be there.

Hey come see me here

Okay I decided I will tell my story. Since it is longer then the rest it gets its very own blog. Plus that will keep it seperate from my funny mommy blogging. Sooo add this new site to your list and check in daily to see if I've updated.

Jumping on the band wagon

There is this big part of me that wants to jump on the band wagon and tell the story of Rob and I. Not the cheesy half ass story I tell in my very first ever posts, but the real story. However, I just don't know if I'm ready to go there yet. See I can't just start with Rob and I, because it was the year before he and I that shaped us becoming an US. I would have to talk about Eli..which I don't mind because whatever it is old news, but mostly I would have to talk about Jeremy. See, typing his name right there made me lose my breath and made my heart stop for a moment. I just don't think I can do it yet. I don't think I could write about him with out missing him, and I don't think that I could write about him with out giving you all the impression that I would rather be with him then my husband, (I wouldn't). Needless to say, I would looove love love to write this story, but emotionally, well I mean, don't I already cry enough? So I'm going to give this all some thought but for now, I think the story will remain in my head!

Mmm tastey

Heres a little shot of my tastey dinner last night. I was bored and in a hurry. I threw together some Boboli with olive oil garlic spaghetti sauce, fresh mozzarella, tomatoes and fresh basil..... Mmmmmm

And that is my Wusthof...every bad ass has one of those in their kitchen!!!!

Again it gets worse

Lets keep in mind I'm pregnant here. So when my son dumps his pork flavored ramen into his fruit punch flavored Kool Aid swirls it around and then drinks the contents of said cup (think pale pink floaty noodly looking concoction) mom has a really hard time holding her own lunch in!

Lesson 1: How to fatten up a skinny child

Step 1: Leave starving (naked) toddler alone for 2 minutes.
Step 2: Allow toddler to find him stool, push it up to counter and retrieve full tub of butter.

Step 3: Watch as toddler slathers himself, all surrounding areas and his mom in butter...He seriously ate the whole thing.

Step 4: When he finished we had to add more so toddler can get extra fat...he could also tell this was different butter but he ate it just the same.

Yup let me lick it and smoosh it and rub it. Yeah, me, my work and my child all smell like butter. Not to mention my already slippery sneaky two year old is now extra super slippery!

What I would really like to know

Why have we never seen a picture of Tom Cruise's baby cry? Is she like a miracle hybrid baby?

BABY CLOTHES FRUSTRATION

I've been trying to explain to Jen my frustration with baby clothes and how they are sized different even when they clearly say the same damn size. It really frustrated me because not a single item of new born clothes I bought Brandon fit him. We ended up having to buy him premie clothes. This time around I bought tons of different brands (translate to grandma and grandpa showed up with a shit load of new tiny baby clothes) so I would be assured that at least one thing would fit this child. When I first emailed Jen about this, I had shown her a picture of a preemie outfit next to and on top of a new born outfit and they were the same freaking size. So now, to illustrate for all you non moms, new moms or expecting moms out there....
Both of these damn onsies are size new born..Hmmmmm. Imagine how pissed I would be if all I had showed up with at the hospital was the size on the left, that shit won't fit a damn newborn!

To further illistrate, here they are on top of each other. What a bunch of assholes the baby clothes makers are. Do they not think new moms with major hormonal issues have better things to cry about then the fact that their childs clothes are falling off their shoulders and their legs don't even fit in the holes!!!!!! ASSHOLES

Which is why I say, buy more then one brand and PACK more then one brand when you go to the hospital so your child doesn't come home in an outfit looking like this.

Poor little guy was swimming in his onsie.

Also, this outfit that my son was swimming in, yeah thats a premie size.....fuckers!

I swear I'm not having twins I'm just fat!

Sorry about the lighting I took this one in a hurry...but you get the point...no wonder dairy queen girl thought I was some sort of giant!

So close yet still so far away

Today my wonderful amazing and terrific friends, Katie, Ginger and Alli came over and painted Codi's room for me. So far all I have set up is the crib since technically I can't start moving stuff until the end of September so my husband can keep his Playstation room as long as possible. I also bought some matching sheets and pillow cases for the bed, the quilt I already had. I am keeping the bed in there so I can sleep close to Codi, and I think it will make it so much easier for me to put him in his own crib rather my bedroom for 16 months! So here is the room so far, I'll show you the rest when I get there!

P.S. Katie I hope I got these posted up fast enough for you!