Dammit I forgot.

I meant to try to remember not to forget that June 1st was my first blog anniversary. Darn. I forgot. I'm trying to go back through my archives and see what I've written. So far not so much. No eloquent this or publish worthy that. Not a lot of stuff that makes you say hmmm and really think, but a lot of stuff that makes you say c and want to barf. My very first comment was from some wedding people advertising wedding albums. It took me nearly a year to get more readers then the three friends I had and now I struggle to keep it interesting. But I mean how interesting can, bed rest, baby poop, and whiny diet complaints really be huh? When I started this blog, my son wasn't even one yet. He was still considered a baby. Now, NOW he is nearly two and he looks like he's already 20 and sometimes the fact that he is growing up tests my sanity so much I don't know what to do. When this blog started I never wanted more then one kid. NOW I'm pregnant. Hmmmm. There has been some funny stuff and some what the hell was she thinking stuff. I stopped nursing during this time. There was the time I admitted I wore granny panties. There was that time I talked about baby poop. That other time I talked about poop. I've written about my husband being awesome. About my husband being strange. There was that time I complained a lot. The time I told you what a knuckle head I am. That time I was pregnant and didn't even know. There was the time I got sick of reading my archives and realized I was going to be late for work, so this post will continue tonight.

Breath a sigh of relief....if only

One of the biggest differences in this pregnancy is the fact that I'm finding it impossible to breath. I get a few measly breaths here and there, but to take a real deep breath, now that is a chore. Then, if I eat, I can basically forget about breathing for a good 6 hours or so. Which means if I eat three meals a day I can't breath until long after I'm in bed. So I spend a lot of the day wondering if I'd rather starve, or breath, and dammit, the food always wins. This leaves me waddling around sounding like a choking duck or something. I try soooo hard to breath in, and that makes me cough, so then I try taking a series of quick breaths until maybe I get a full one. Nope nothin. On the rare occasion I do get a full one I let out a little victory sigh, which leaves me struggling to breath again.

As I was typing this I ran to the kitchen to put my lunch in the oven (which reminds me damn lasagna sounds good, wish I had some of that laying around huh) and I remembered to check the steak I was marinating for my husbands fajitas. I figured I would pour a little salsa in with that and I'll be damned if I didn't nearly dump a whole damn bottle of pepperoccinis on his steak. This would have been devistating as my husband is the king of marinades. There is a science involved and it took 2 years before I was even allowed to know the secret steak marinade and I wasn't allowed to write it down, in case someone saw it, which means, 90% of the time I fuck it up, meaning 99% of the time Rob marinates his steak and I deal with the sides because you know GRRR MAN MEAT, ME GRILL THE MEAT BECAUSE I AM MAN GRRRR! And did I mention that meat is only accepted in grilled or fried form.

So I finish marinating my meat and go back into my bedroom. Thats right, today I moved from my post on the couch to a new post in my bed. The only problem is I felt all clean this morning and I made the bed and straightened up the house and what not. WELLLLL now that I've made the damn bed I don't want to mess up my 8 pillows (shut up...thats not including the two decorative ones my son stole from me) so I'm not sitting here in the most uncomfortable position ever as not to mess up my damn bed, that I never should have made in the first damn place. So now, to avoid screwing up my pillows I've rolled over onto my belly, which is SOOOOO easy when your pregnant right. On the plus side the baby is totally moving when I lay like this, but I'm wondering if I'm just squeezing the shit out of him and hes like hey mom you asshole roll the fuck over so I have room to hiccup in here.

I think my biggest complaint thus far about bed rest is the fact that my husband can't find the cords to make my NES work meaning I haven't gotten to waste a single day playing Mario 1, 2 and 3. Woe is me. Now I'm wishing I had the stuff to make lasagna but if I even thought of sending Rob to the store for those ingredients lord help me. He would come home with macaroni noodles, ketchup and cottage cheese or something. No really. He HATES the store. I am pretty sure he screws up purposely in hopes that I will stop asking him to go! FAT CHANCE SUCKER! One time I sent him to the store for some chocolate chips in an emergency and he brought me home a bag of Betty Crocker chocolate chip cookie mix. I looked at him stumped and he said look it says chocolate chips. I said, umm yeah and beneath that it says COOOOOOKIE MIX. I asked him how on earth he didn't know what the yellow package of Nestle Toll House chips was. His defense was dammit they should have packaged that better and probably put that bag somewhere different. So now, I either take myself to the store, or send him and the go myself anyway because he forgets the important part like oh I dunno lasagna noodles.

Not the intended blog

This is not the blog I intended to write. That is because I forgot what I wanted to write about. It was good too. This time I need to ask for advice. Katie just emailed me and her email reminded me that I've been meaning to ask about this for a while now.

How do I approach the topic of telling people we don't want to receive something for Brandons birthday? Here is the delima. When Rob and I got married, his dad gave him a bunch of savings bonds that his grandpa had bought for him when he was born. 25 years later and the damn things hadn't matured yet. We needed money for our honeymoon, and that is what the bonds were intended for, so we cashed them out and lost almost half in fees and then got screwed later that year when tax time came.

So then, when Brandon was born, naturally everyone and their mom bought him savings bonds. Rob and I didn't really know what to do with them. We stuck them in the safe and then discussed how we would go about telling people that Brandon actually has a savings account. Here is the thing. When I was little my granamda opened a savings account at our credit union for all of her grand children. Every holiday or birthday she deposited money in the account. When we were about 12 we got control of the account. The accounts are called Rocky Raccoon accounts. They are set up as savings accounts and the kids get a little check book type register to learn to keep track of their deposits and so on. Each time you put a dollar in you get a Rocky buck. Then anytime you want you can go to the bank and spend your Bucks on silly things like flashlights, or radios or backpacks. You know all that junk that was soooo cool when you were 12. Anyway. When you turn 16 you are allowed to turn the account into a checking account with no fees or anything. They keep an eye on you though, you can only make 2 withdrawals from savings a month and so on. Then when you turn 18 you get a grown up account.

When I turned 12 I got control of my account (it didn't have much in it for other reasons that I won't discuss), by the time I turned 18 I had amassed a savings worth $5,000.00. I Had become extremely responsible with my checking account and never let it dip under $400.00. I received a credit card and I paid the balance every month. I felt very responsible and I was so happy that I had that account to learn to save and respect money and balance my account.

Now I have Brandon. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I started to receive money for him. I saved every dollar and every check and as soon as he had a social security number I opened his account. Even at birthdays or random holidays when he would receive a dollar in a card, I would take it to his account. Every single week I automatically have it set up to transfer $40.00 to his account. He has a stack of Rocky bucks to spend when he is old enough. When his account reached $3,000.00 I was able to place that in a special short term high interest CD offered through our credit union, that was still attached to his name and in his account. Now, he is not even two years old and he already has an account with close to $5,500.00. Personally for someone so young Rob and I think we have done well saving up a nice chunk of change for him.

We fully plan on paying for anything he needs with our own money, such as braces or athletics. However we have discussed allowing him to use a portion of his money (which will be considerable by the time he is 16, 18 and so on) as a down payment on a car, or use a portion of money to help him get started in college. Then of course, letting him have money as a down payment on a house or hmmmm if he ever needs to be bailed out of jail for streaking or something wild like that (he he).

So my question is, how do we tell people that we prefer not to receive savings bonds. To me it almost seems as though they don't find us responsible enough to handle cash or checks. Like maybe we would spend it on us and not the kids. However even when we have received checks with memo lines saying, use for diapers, I still put it in Brandons account. The best part about having his account is the money is accessible right away if there were an emergency or if the kids wanted it and they don't have to pay a single fee on it. For instance if Brandon came to me and said I want a car now, or I would like to take a summer vacation before college or something, I can easily get the money, with no penalty, and no tax hassles.

So, is it rude of me to ask people not to give bonds, or do we just suck it up and store them away for 500 years, do we cash em out now and put the money received into their savings? Do I hand out my sons account number to family at holiday time and tell them our request? What do we do. Obviously, I own two houses, I pay my bills, I have savings, my son has savings and I have nothing in collections, so to me it seems obvious that Rob and I are very responsible with money. What do you all think? Also no part of me is asking people to give him money. I prefer they donate to a more needy kid. But since some people are hell bent on giving him something I would much more prefer if it went into his personal account. Here is the bigger problem. My husbands family tends to subscribe to the screw you we are going to do the complete opposite of whatever you ask us to, just to let you know we are still in charge method. Oh and they are the ones who are the most hell bent on buying the bonds.

Hey Emery, my MacBook drinks....

Vomit. Thats right, Brandon turned right around and puked on my laptop today. Good thing he hit the back and not the keys but still...Whats the deal with our Macs getting wet lately?

Some randomness

Eating cookies and milk with a small child next to you is next to impossible. Reasons: Once cookie came near my mouth Brandon would drop his cookie and snatch mine in case it was better. He would then dunk his whole hand into the milk to fish out a chocolate chip on the bottom, look at it and throw it back in. Then dunk a cookie and make me bite it and throw the rest in the milk. After that he would take a sip of milk, then make me sip the milk and then dunk his whole hand back in the milk!

I can't stop eating that Fritos cheese sauce in the can. Its in the can like the bean dip. Its hot as hell but I just keep eating it.

I should join AA that is artichokes anonymous. I've had three in the last 10 days. The only upside is they have lots of folic acid!

I really love when Chef Ramsey screams on Hells Kitchen.

I got new sheets this week. They are pretty. They were so pretty I almost made my bed this morning, and I almost made it again at lunch when I went in there, but ehhhh I didn't.

Pregnancy heart burn is killing me. Tums aren't helping, Maalox does, but that also makes me want to puke.

I wonder how old I will be before I learn to spell vacuum.

So far all my son will eat this week is spaghettios. Oh wait, he will lick the butter off his bread and he ate one muffin and 6 Cheeto's.

When my son was asked to show daddy where the baby was, instead of pointing to my belly he pointed to my husbands newly filled up belly and said baby baby.

When asked what that was, pointing to a picture of an ape, Brandon proudly responded PAPA!

However, he can still totally tell you were his pee pee is!

I made the mistake of showing him how you put your thumb over a hose to spray it better...I had to change outfits twice tonight after playing outside while trying to keep him busy so he wouldn't sleep at 5PM. He chased me down and soaked me beyond belief.

How is my son still in one piece

a ball from wilddreemer on Vimeo

Reasons being on bed rest 97% of the week isn't so bad

1. I can eat burritos for breakfast and no one knows. Wait, shit now you all know I just had a burrito for breakfast, shhhh don't tell mmmkay.
2. My laundry has never been so low, I mean really one can wear the same jammies for like 3 days before they are deemed to crusty to keep wearing.
3. I have complete control of the remote...which won't stop leading me towards baby shows and food shows (which make me sad and hungry)
4. Did I mention the burritos? I did? Yeah, so, shut up! I'm on bed rest you know, I'm allowed to be a certain amount of senile huh?
5. NAPS
6. Naps with out a toddler sitting on my head WHOAH imagine that!
7. I get to read blogs all day long
8. I can pee with the door open and no toddler watching me!!!!!!!!!
9. I get to control the temperature in the house according to my pregnancy hot flashes
10. Two burritos for breakfast..wait, I didn't say two before, I mean, umm I am not a pig of course I only had one burrito for breakfast don't be silly. Okay, but they were really small.
    
11. I also may or may not have eaten a Recees for desert this morning at 8AM

Also some clarification. Although the doctor said I was free to work if I choose, I have not been removed from bed rest. My family feels that I still need to sit at home which means I'm allowed to work 2 days a week for two hours at a time each day. Also, the smallest things still seem to make me bleed. I made Rob dinner the other night and just bending down into the oven a couple times set me off bleeding. Other things cause bleeding too. Like going to the store, or going to Babies R Us to register. So needless to say I'm still sitting here on the dang couch.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

I AM PRETTY SURE I'VE NEVER BEEN SO ANNOYED BY SOMETHING I'VE READ....EVER!!!!!!!! I'm to mad to even write a rational post about this. I'm just plain pissed off!

PHATSO PHOTOS WEEK UMMMMM 18ISH (I'm losing count here)

Okay so I kind of look a little pregnant in this one

Whats that you say? Oooh turn to the side, okay hang on....



Holy shit look at that I really am showing!

I blame it all on the dress because I spent most of the night feeling more like a stuffed sausage then a pregnant lady! Oh well, here are your damn belly pics, apparently I have on now.

Smile

On our way to Jens wedding I decided I would take some pictures of all of us. So I get out the camera, which Brandon has started posing for and I say SMILE BRANDON

No no, smile not show me your tongue
Umm okay I guess thats a smile
This picture is adorable but thats really not a smile
There you go, now thats a smile
There are two people in life that complete me, these may or may not be them (but more may then may not) (okay more like these are the two people in life who complete me) (oh yeah notice the little box of baby wipes Brandon was sitting on? He called that his chair and was posing on it for every after I took pictures, he would pose then run over and say more picture mom more picture...my son is such a ham) (I just made brackets here for fun)
We match so well huh?
Yeah yeah I cut off his head, but I look good in this one so it stays, no really could we match any better?
Mommy and Brandon
Proving I really don't know how to work my camera..but again, I look pretty so it stays!
This would be Jen getting married if those assholes would move their head, (okay they may be the photographers but they were still all up in our way) Jen looks so beautiful.
If you look closely you'll notice two things...Thats Jen's second dress, and she has a little bump there! I meant to get one that showed both our bumps but I didn't want to bug her too much. Also see the yellow and blue flowers in the background? I TOLD YOU WE MATCHED THE WEDDING PERFECT!