I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure you don't tattle on yourself

Brandon and I were just sitting in the living room when he tells me he's going to go potty. I said okay, then I got wary because he was gone for a while. My son has a big habit of making huge messes in the bathroom like yesterday when he dunked a whole WHOLE roll of toilet paper in the toilet and shouted I WASHA HANDS then pulled the toilet paper out and squeezed it allll over the bathroom and down the hall while dropping little bits of wet pee covered toilet paper all over. So of course I would get wary if he was alone in the bathroom for more then about 4 seconds. Suddenly I hear this:

Brandon: Moooooooooom
Me: Yeah
Brandon: Mama I mate a mess
Me: Uggg okay I'm coming (takes an hour to lift giant pregnant ass off couch)
Brandon: Urry up I mate mess
Me: (Arrive to see naked son sitting on a pillow in his room) Where did you make a mess
Brandon: (Points to bathroom) Thata way
Me: Walks in to find brown empty toilet paper roll chilling in toilet covered in pee. Looks at Brandon who proudly exclaims SEE I MATE MESS.
Me: Scratches head and wonders if I can flush the toilet and then get the roll out with out pee in the toilet. But guess what THE WHOLE TOILET PAPER ROLL FLUSHED! Whoah how cool I didn't' even have to stick my hands in the toilet this morning.

Brandon then followed me around the rest of the house saying I MATE MESS I MATE MESS. And I can't help but thinking, I really thought the whole point of childhood was to not tattle on yourself! Someone obviously needs to teach this kid about putting the toilet lid down and walking away like nothing happened. Kind of like yesterday when my husband saw the mat in front of the toilet was dirty and he just flipped it over and pretended he never saw it.