7.12.2007

About Stephanie

Dear friends. As you can tell Stephanie seems to be going through some personal problems. 90% of them are stemming from her relationship with Eli. I probably should have spoken up sooner about my relationship with him, but out of respect for Stephanie and their relationship I kept quiet. So here goes, the short annotated version. In July of 2000 Eli and I started dating. In October Eli moved in. In November Eli told me he wanted to have babies with me. I was apprehensive. In December Eli told me I was either getting a stereo or engagement ring for Christmas, but not to hold my breath for a stereo. On December 22nd we were supposed to go to dinner with his parents for his birthday. I stopped off at his most favorite board shop and got him a couple shirts to wear for that dinner. He came home and didn't really care about the new clothes and went to bed. I went in and asked him about it and he replied, "You should have washed the shirts first, I won't wear shirts that aren't washed after the store." Keep in mind here, I get off work at 4:30 ran to the board shop and dinner was around 6:30. I couldn't have washed the damn shirts if I wanted. Not to mention, I don't wash things until people try them on so I know if they fit. Anyway, he basically came unglued and told me it might be time for him to move out, "but we could stay together." I said NO. Your either here or your gone. He left for dinner and I didn't hear from him for two days. He showed up one day like nothing ever happened and tried to take a shower and get ready to go somewhere with his friend. I said NO. You don't just take off and think you can come back this is bullshit. He said well maybe I will just move out then. I said fine by me you need to be out tomorrow or your stuff will be on the lawn. Did I mention tomorrow was Christmas Eve? He called that morning and asked if he really had to leave and I said my dad and uncle are on there way here now to move you out, its up to you if you want to move your stuff or have them do it. Also I don't want a single one of your friends inside of my house so you better figure out how to move by yourself. I spent Christmas Eve on the couch by my front door with my dad and uncle, sitting there and watching him move every single one of his things out. When he was almost gone he stopped me in the driveway and said he didn't want it to be like this. I told him he needed to go and think about what happened but I wasn't letting him play his game anymore. He left and instantly started messaging me. I replied all through the night. Christmas came and he messaged me telling me he was so upset he had a dream that my dad was walking me down the isle to him and he can't believe he screwed this up. He said that our dog needed to come back home and they both just wanted to come back home. He came and got me and we drove around and looked at Christmas lights then went home and spent the night together. The next morning he went to work. I didn't hear from him again for a week. I messaged and messaged and nothing. Finally I called. He said he just couldn't be in a relationship anymore. I said fine, come get your dog, pay your rent and be done. He did and we were done. Randomly he would message me and say he missed me, then he would message me and say he needed a ride home because he was drunk. I ignored them all. Finally about two weeks later I found out he was already with someone else and he was about to propose to her. This continued for a while. Eli would break up with girls, move on to new ones and suddenly be ready to propose. In fact the girl he was with before me is a friend of mine and he had done the same to her. Eli has a habit of becoming infatuated with something, chasing it and smothering it until near death and then just walking away. I was broken for a long time after him. I was only 19 so that is what I use to comfort myself. Knowing I was very young so it was okay to be that naive. It was almost a full year before I dated again, shit I didn't even kiss anyone for 8 months. When I met Rob I was still so messed up over Eli. It took nearly two years of being with Rob to finally realize that what Eli did to me wasn't my fault it was his.

When Stephanie told me that day she was going to lunch with him, I already knew what was coming. You see Eli doesn't just take a girl to lunch or spend time with someone unless he's begun a new infatuation. It wasn't long after they went to lunch that I knew, he was doing the same thing to her too. It was sooo hard for me to not stop her and say he's going to hurt you to, its all lies. But I realized , had someone said that to me I would have just accused them of being jealous. So I just supported her. I listened as she said that yes they had talked about moving in, yes they talked kids and marriage and yes they were making plans for the future. I really started to worry. I talked to my mom about it and said I really didn't know what to do. I already knew Stephanie was days away from having Eli stop speaking to her. Thats what he does, he just shuts down cold turkey and leaves you wondering for eternity. My mom said there was nothing I could do but wait and be supportive, so I did. Now its happened and I'm so mad at myself. I should have put up a bigger fight when they dated, I should have warned her. I should have done something to stop that from happening.

Stephanie will get over Eli, but her problem now lies with his ex wife. I can not for the life of me understand why Kasey (his ex) wants to stir the pot with Stephanie. What I'm finding hardest to understand is that Kasey divorced Eli. She left him and didn't want him anymore. So why on earth is she so upset now? Did she divorce him as part of some game, hoping he would come running back and she could have control, or is she simply playing the age old game, if I can't have him no one can? Either way, they are divorced. They have been for over a year now. She has moved on, she dates other people. So why is she finding it so hard to let Eli and Stephanie be happy? The worst part is Eli's kids love Stephanie. And their own mom doesn't realize what kind of mind games she is playing with their head by ripping Stephanie from their lives twice now. Its gross. Being a parent myself I would never ever allow my own personal agenda to come in the way of my son.

The final thing I don't understand is why this woman and her sister and friends, feel the need to air Stephs dirty laundry. She got what she wanted, they broke up, so why can't she just leave well enough alone? This woman is in her 30's. THIRTY YEARS OLD and still behaving like an 11th grader. I was really under the impression that after about 18 you stopped behaving like a child and started acting like an adult. I am really at this point in disbelief about these peoples behaviors. They are leaving awful comments on her blog, spreading awful rumors and quite frankly they are acting like a 7 year who got their Barbie taken away. Why can't these people just leave well enough alone? I just don't get it at all. When all of this started, Stephanie never once posted a blog airing Kasey's dirty laundry AND THERE IS A LOT, so why does this girl feel like she needs to do it to her.

So now you guys understand a little of what is going on with Stephanie. I've encouraged her to post a blog addressing Kasey's accusations and setting the record straight. Thus making it so they have nothing to comment about. I think she plans to do that today, at least I hope she does. I think it would be in her best interest to take the upper hand and just be as open and honest as possible. In the end Stephanie will walk away knowing she spoke the truth and was honest and truthful. I encourage all of you to support her through this. You are welcome to leave comments for her on my page and I will see that she gets them. However, if you choose to leave negative comments please be advised, I have a site moderator, it tracks the IP address, computer and name of everyone who views my blog. If you choose to write something I don't like, you will be reported to the site moderator, and to the police for harassment on my blog. I will not put up with any shit so please don't try and tempt me. Also be advised, you can try all you want to air my dirty laundry with Stephanie, if what you say is true I will address it and come clean, if what you say is false I will call you out for being a lying asshole. So please, remember what your mamma told you, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stephanie...I don't know you personally but as a woman I can sympathize with what you are going through. Be strong and realize that ignorant people inevitably come into our lives. You are lucky to have a friend like Shannon. Take Care - Patty

Megan said...

Steph - ALL of us know what you're going through. Sweet Pea is right...you are blessed to have Shannon to lean on. She of all people gets this better than anyone. Hang in there - this will only strengthen you in the end. All the best...

angie said...

Good grief!! She is for sure going through hell and back...there's really no reason to not support Steph here because so far as I can see she hasn't done anything wrong to not be supported for. We are behind ya Steph and I agree with Shannon...lay it all out so they have nothing to say!

kristi said...

I had a friend who was interested in a guy I dated. I warned her. She eventually married him and now they are divorced. She didn't listen to me but I'll bet she wishes she would have!

Anonymous said...

Hey Shannon, Have you ever heard the saying "mind your own business"
First Kasey has not said or done one thing to interfere in there relationship...She doesn't care one bit if they marry or not!!! And if you ever meet KC, you would know she doesn't use her kids to try and keep Stephanie away..
Maybe Stephanie wouldn't be having this problems with everyone if she didn't write dirty blogs about people. She is just asking for it... I am sorry that things for Stephanie are going so shitty...but she isn't helping the matter in making them better...Keep it up Stephanie!!
You guys keep blogging...there is more than just one person pissed now...So you guys have fun with your lame blogging lives...

Just for everyone to know....Stephanie is a boyfriend chaser...Watch out..she has done it more than once..You can even ask her old Volleyball friends...

Shannon you off all people know how Eli is...Why would KC want him to come running back..And you also know that Eli would not stay with anyone that has Herpes...That broke them up...ask Eli...KC had nothign to do with it, Stephanie just wants everyone to think that...

And maybe we are in 11th grade but you girls sound like 8th graders....

Lindz said...

Wow, this is seriously pathetic. Whomever posted anonymously, what a hypocrite you are to say mind your own buisness when you are taking it upon yourself to post a comment here in the first place.

All I have to say is that a situation like this on all levels sucks and there is nothing worse than the feeling of not having closure, it takes a while to finally get past but we all do. Regardless of the background of various factors in this "scenario" it still sucks and Steph I'm sorry, hang in there girl and try to let it go, it isn't worth trying to win something back that isn't availble and you may not truly want.

That's just my 45 cents worth :)

Stephanie said...

You guys are wonderful...thank you all. I am actually starting to find all this amusing. I love that people are so focused on what is going on in my life and it really is none of their business. My past is my past. What I have was given to me by someone that I was in a long committed relationship with. I wouldn't wish it on anyone in the world, but it is something I have come to terms with and have accepted. I have been with two people since I had it and BOTH people were well aware of it and both chose to still sleep with me. So me having herpes didn't end Eli's and my relationship. Everyone can think what they want where we are concerned. So thank you for letting out my little secret. And thank you for showing all of your maturity levels.

angie said...

Hang in there Steph...I just read the oh so brave anonymous person and their comment...BITCH!

Jen said...

Wow! I am really amused myself that someone has the audacity to call blogging lame when they are clearly on here reading them and even commenting on them.

What is wrong with people voicing their thoughts, feelings and experiences on (what should be) a peaceful public forum where you can receive supportive and mindful advice from other people you would not be likely to connect with otherwise??? Hmmmm???

Steph has done nothing wrong here and has clearly done nothing to illicit the responses and behavior from these "anonymous" people OR Eli. She has done nothing but open herself up and try to care about people and HOLY HELL OMG if she happened to write about it!

Whoever the fook you are telling Shannon to mind her own business, Ummm WHOA MAN- methinks you should take your own advice.

Ugh- Add "ANONYMOUS" to the long list of things that annoy my preggo self today.

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