memories

Gingers blog cracks me up. She is so funny living her single life in her own place. It has made me think back to when I first moved out. If only I had a blog then. You guys would be laughing your asses off all the time. Here are a few of my favorite memories.

• The first one was a day or two after I moved in. When I moved in here is what I came with. A vacuum. A bed. A George Forman grill. A 13 inch TV. A phone and a computer. So the second morning I woke up after a party and I was hungry. I called my cousin who lived very close and told her to bring me some breakfast stuff. She brought me two eggs in a zip lock bag and two pieces of bread. I wasn't sure what to do at first and then I decided to just crack my eggs on my George Forman grill. They ran all over the place but evenutally cooked, looking like something that would come out of a crimping iron. I proceeded to put my bread in, causing it to also be crimped but also as flat as cardboard. I slapped my eggs on my bread and ate. It was delicious and I didn't have a single dish!
• There was the time I backed out of my garage with the garage door closed.
• The time my cousin, her husband and I discovered the formal name of my carpet was mudslide (this came after I dumped an entire glass of that frozen mudslide stuff on my carpet hours before the party really started.)
• The time I decided to throw a part two nights after moving in, with NO FURNITURE AT ALL. So my guy friends took off to all the local stores and came back with about 50 crates. They built me a crate TV stand, a crate couch, a crate coffee table, a crate kitchen table, some crate chairs out back for smoking, and some crate lounge chairs in my living room. That was awesome.
• At that same party I lost my kitten. I had locked him in the guest room so he wouldn't get out and later I could not find him anywhere. The guys at the party were running around looking in mailboxes and generally scaring the shit out of me. Later after breaking into my guest room I found my kitten stuffed in the bottom drawer. He must have climbed in to nap and I must have closed the drawer on him. I'm awesome
• There was the time Shanna and I thought we were ravers so we put on our bathing suits, some Alice DJ and then took neon colored scrapbook paper and taped it all over my walls and then plugged in about 10 black lights. We then proceeded to dance and jump around like we were the most BOMB ravers ever. Oh yeah, she had this idea that ravers needed things in their hands to twirl, so she filled my socks with makeup and ran around my house twirling my socks.
• There was the time that Katie called and I didn't feel like answering and then I looked up and saw her staring at me through my porch window shaking her head.
• There was the time I drug Ginger and April to bed bath and beyond in the middle of the night to buy an expresso machine and then the next morning when I tried to use it I shot milk out the foamer all the way to my ceilinig and walls and across the street.
• Then there was the night April came over and we made dinner for these guys. Then we got drunk and decorated my Christmas tree. This somehow turned into a popcorn fight. It was that popcorn in the big tub you know, that three different flavor Christmas kind. The next day we were pretty sad when we discovered caramel popcorn melts into carpet. In fact when I moved there was still caramel popcorn stuck by my door.
• There was the time my ex moved out and his phone bill came to my house so Shanna and I got really drunk and she called every number on there and said she was engaged to him and he was cheating on them...that was a blast.
• The time we did the shot a minute thing for Katies birthday. I was smart and did shots of Jack Daniels coolers. In the end when my cousin came to get us to take us somewhere, she found us dancing on my kitchen table probably again in bathing suits.
  
• There was the time friend Mikey and his friend came over. I couldn't keep up with their drinking so I went to bed. Next thing I know Mikey is in my room with a JUMBO bottle of that Fridays premixed margarita stuff that was red. He wakes me up proudly proclaiming LOOK SHANNON I DRANK THE WHOLE THING. He climbs in bed with me and minutes later I wake up to him puking on my back and allllll over my feather comforter. I throw his ass in the shower where he proceeds to pass out with his head on the shower floor and his ass two feet up in the air. I go in the living room and find his friend passed out sitting up in front of the couch waking up every few seconds trying to order porn on pay perview. I had passworded it so he would wake up every couple seconds and push in 4 new numbers trying to see his porn.
• There was the time I sat out front watching the people across the street bbq and mentioned how good it smelled. Next thing I know their son shows up on my doorstep with a giant chicken breast and I felt like such an ass telling them I was a vegetarian and sending them back to their house with their sorry piece of chicken on the pretty plate...I felt guilty for years thinking I should have just taken it and fed it to my cat and dog.
  
• There was the time the neighbor boy who was in 8th grade developed a huge crush on me and sat on my porch telling me how next year he was totally going to be in high school and then we could so hook up.
  
• There was the time I had my cousins bachelorette party and I taped up paper penises allll over my walls to play pin the macho on the man. Sadly I had paper penis's taped to my wall for a few months. Also, I had left over play dough penis's from the who can make the best penis competition. I also had penis ice trays, penis toothpicks, penis straws and penis wrapping paper, oh yeah and a giant blow up man with duct tape over his crotch from the place where my cat bit a whole in him. People thought I was a pervert every time they grabbed a toothpick with a tiny penis on it.
• There was the time Shanna and I got drunk and spray painted our hair in my garage and then danced around like assholes in there.
  
• There was the time, I started experimenting with doing coke, and a friend of ours came over and he wanted to do a nummer (this is where you rub coke on your gums and it numbs it like orajel, he did not know this) the next thing you know he starts grabbing his arms and says I CAN FEEL IT WORKING, MY WHOLE BODY IS GOING NUMB. We nearly pissed ourselves as we explained what a nummer really was and that he was a complete ass.

I'm sure there are a ton more memories, I have the scrapbooks to prove it, these are just some of my favorites.