What is up with all the negative Nellies and the I Canters in the world

Man. I don't understand so much of the things I've been experiencing lately. As you all know I've been doing my diet thing and I've been using the help of a website called Sparkpeople.com. WELL! On this website there are message boards. And after months of avoiding them I decided to venture into them. It was like blogging and I got pretty hooked on it. Plus since I love to run my mouth it was a great place to go. Well. I started putting up these posts with helpful suggestions in response to peoples comments and all I got back was a bunch of negative.

For example. This person was talking about eating a bunch of junk and I was astonished at all the junk she had in her house, I'm talking kit kat, peanut butter cups, candy bars, and so on. So I said, maybe instead of having that kind of stuff, you could have a little snack bowl of healthy or premeasured snacks on your counter like I do. I WAS FLOODED WITH NEGATIVE RESPONSES. One person wrote back and said, NO, I CAN'T JUST HAVE A PORTION, ONE PORTION MAKES ME WANT MORE AND BLAH BLAH THEN I BINGE AND THAT IS AN AWFUL IDEA.

Here is an actual response I received

Wilddreemer, your advise about healthy and portion-controlled snacks is great, and one that many people will benefit from if they follow it. You sound like you've got a real handle on this part of your eating, and I commend you for it.
I am not one that has lost weight that way, however, and believe there are many like me. After nearly 40 years of weight struggling, I've learned that I'm sensitive to sugar. One hundred calorie pre-packaged oreo flakes and other bite-sized bags-o-snacks usually contain large concentrations of sugar, or have nothing but carb and sugar with no fiber or protein to limit a blood sugar spike once I eat it. These things make me crave sugar more and more so I get to a point where the little snacks just don't cut it - I need to 'freebase' some sugar. The chocolate bars my coworker is selling for her kids is torture to avoid; avoiding high carb food gets harder; ice cream becomes something I daydream about...those processed snacks lead me down a path of increased difficulty, indulgence, and guilt. I know this, and choose to avoid those things. Many of the processed things are nutritionally empty, at least that's what I tell myself to keep from eating them. A 'healthy choice' cupcake would (and has) send me over the edge and undo all my hard work in eating healthy and nutritiously...I'd be back at square one. If I remove myself from these really bad temptations like the coworkers chocolate (nearly impossible since I work there), I will begin eating the ENTIRE BOX of cupcakes, or wafers, or whatever it is. It is like asking an alcoholic to only have one drink.
Snacks like you mentioned that are natural and healthier are a great option, but those of us who struggle with the all-or-nothing mentality are not going to fare as well as you have with these small temptations.
How many of you can eat controlled portions of packaged snacks? How many see these as triggers for worse food?

I was so appalled.

Then I posted something funny about Brandon feeding me Cheetos, and should I count the calories in the five he feeds me every day? Guess what response I got:
YOU SHOULD BANISH THINGS LIKE CHEETOS FROM YOUR HOUSE, YOUR CHILD IS GOING TO BECOME OBESE AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT AND YOU ARE SETTING TERRIBLE EXAMPLES HAVING FOOD LIKE THAT IN YOUR HOUSE!

HA, no really HA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME PEOPLE.

I had one hell of a response for those people. It went something like this.

Growing up my mom was very over weight. Rather then doing something about it, she closely monitored my weight. Also she was always doing some sort of crash diet. Seriously her freezer was always packed with Lean Cuisines and that was all she would eat for a whole day. There were liquid diets, Paid diets, diet pills, and so on. Even if my mom had never said a word about my weight watching her make hers such a big deal was enough to make me freak the fuck out about mine. A lot of people reading this actually know me. You know that in high school and my whole life I had never ever been bigger then a size 3. For someone being a size 3 and having their parent tell them they were gaining weight or getting fat because they weren't a size 1 anymore really mind fucks a person. But I can't blame my mom because her mom was that way with her. Its a chain. I don't want to follow that chain. So I wrote about how, this time I'm not actually dieting I'm making a life style change. Because I want my kids to grow up and think eating healthy is normal and following portion size is normal. I wrote that, there is no way I would banish my sons favorite Cheeto's. My mom did that to me. She banished all of the fun foods so I would binge like crazy when I was somewhere else. Seriously ask Katie about fat fast. When I was allowed to go to Katies house AKA land of the good food and toast...TOAST AS IN BREAD I would eat loaves of toast and we would make Fat fast shakes, which included ice cream, chocolate sauce, peanut butter, bananas, candy, sugar and anything else yummy. I would binge and binge and binge at her house and then hope and pray my mom wouldn't find out. Who wants to live like that. So I wrote back to Mrs Cheeto hater that there was no way in hell I was going to get rid of all that food, and I"m sorry her son is now obese but that is her problem not mine. When Brandon feeds me Cheeto's each morning I smile and I enjoy them. Once in a while, going and getting ice cream is a good idea. Having some chocolate together is fun. I need to make him understand that he doesn't ever need to hide food from me. He just needs to balance bad with good. Which isn't a problem considering I cook every night and every day and I make soups loaded with fresh veggies and healthy meals and stuff.

Basically I was flabergasted by these negative people. I reread the post from the lady who said she couldn't just have a portion because then she would have to eat more and I had had it. I was fed up I wrote back and here was my exact post.

all crazy but let me just tell you what i notice from my first day here. A lot of negativity and a lot of I can't do it because i don't want to. You are making all of this so much about food you aren't even giving yourselves a chance to concentrate on other things. As I mentioned before while I was growing up my parents house revolved around food. What food was good, bad, off limits and so on. Who ate good that day, who ate bad. Then I moved out and realized I did the same things. One day, recently I was driving home and I noticed the sunny weather. I came home and I was watching Oprah and her diet guy Bob said, that a very important part of dieting is giving up the scale every day. So I made this decision starting January first to eat healthy. BUT I decided I was not going to weigh in for an entire month. This almost killed me. I used to weigh myself 40 times a day. But after a few days I started to notice the changes in my body, how my clothes fit, how I felt and my over all personality. Rather then concentrating so much on the weight and food, I started to do other things. I started writing and reading blogs. I started playing more with my son. I started a weekend challange to clean out one whole room in my house. Cleaning is an amazing exercise and my house has never been so organized. On February first I weighed in and had lost 10 lbs exactly. I was so proud of myself and I made the decision that from now on I only weigh in on the 1st and 15th. It gives me so much more freedom to not waste every second of my life stressing. The next thing I did, while driving home that sunny day is realize I hate the gym. And if you are doing something that makes you unhappy don't do it. So I had my husband get down my old bike, because as a kid I LOVED to ride bikes. I went on a test run to the end of the street and before you knew it, you couldn't pry me off that bike. Now, I get exercise that I actually enjoy doing and it also gives me time to clear my head of all my days troubles. I even got my son a little bike seat so he can ride around with me, and spend some time doing something I really enjoy. I really encourage you all to open your eyes to all of the positive wonderful things around you. Go two weeks with out stepping on the scale and don't say you can't do it, because can't is just being negative. Find anything you love to do. I love cooking, so now, I cook big healthy meals during the week and take them to work to share with my dieting co workers. I ride my bike, I go buy a new head band, i get a fun hair cut (because mommies need to be hot too) I read my blogs, and I post blogs. I buy good magazines like Red book and stuff and read about funny things. I organize my house, and I have lots more sex because with me being happy even though I'm not a size two I still feel sexy. Come on people, lets get happy and positive again. Enjoy your new healthy life style and reward yourself. Relish in the things you love. Join a book club, ride a bike, get back on those rollerblades from when you were a kid. Go to the bounce house with your kids. Anything. Do something that for just a second, makes you feel like a kid again. you will notice such a change. I have. Even my husband, and parents and family, and friends have all noticed the difference in my personality. now go out there and do something FUN!

Guess what happened. They all shut up. I got one, way to go wilddreemer response and that was about it. I hope they read what I wrote and they really think about it. Because if you start a diet or ANYTHING with the mind set that you can't do it dumbasses. Fuck. You need to go into something this big with the attitude that you can do it. So to my blogging diet friends take my advice. Find a hobby, something you truely love and concentrate on that. Stop making it about the weight and make it all about you.

AND FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU JUST FUCKING SMILE!