The scar

You know, I often look at all of my scars, I poke em, and squish em, and just generally check to see if they are still there. However I never pay much attention to my C-section scar, because my doctor is so amazing it was barely visible weeks after the surgery. I looked at it today. It is gone. Not gone gone, I mean, since I knew it was there I can see a very faint half inch of it left. However, if I were to pull down my pants and try and prove to you I had a C-section, you would laugh in my face, as there really is no scar there to the visible eye. I am sadder then I thought I would be. My mom, and my friends all still have their scars. I have nothing. I mean if I push really hard, I can tell something is different there, but I can't just look down and enjoy that memory. Now I'm about to have another baby, probably another scar and I can't help but think, this scar is just going to cover up Brandon's. That makes me feel all symbolic, as if this new baby is going to somehow overshadow my son. I hope I am strong enough not to do that. I hope this new scar vanishes also and I can say I just have great skin or something. That would be much easier then feeling like I lost a piece of my son for a new replacement baby. Moms of two kids, how do you do it? How do you love them both the same. How do you keep the older one from getting jealous? Do you make sure to spend alone time with them both, so the older one knows you haven't forgotten? And how on earth, is it possible to have two kids and still remember your husband?