Noticing a change

In earlier blogs I mentioned how whenever I started a diet I would think about food 24 hours a day. I said that it wasn't healthy that I always wanted to eat. So today when I began thinking of what to have for lunch I became frustrated with myself because it was so early. However then I looked at the clock and noticed it was actually 11:45. I was so impressed. I had managed to go nearly four hours without thinking about my next meal. It seems as though I have gotten myself on a schedule, which I think is something diet experts actually applaud. I eat breakfast at around 7:30 or 8:00 and have a snack around 10:00 at about noon I'm ready for lunch, with another snack following around 3:00. Then dinner falls right around 6:00 followed by some desert, which I guess is actually perfect because that way I'm not eating right before bed. I am truly proud of myself that I am learning to wean myself off of my food support system.

I've also noticed now that I'm paying attention to portions, that I really don't need a giant serving to get full. What I find interesting is that I had drastically cut my portions last time I dieted and it was something I stuck with even after I fell off the wagon (with the exception of ice cream, those portions always seem to get bigger)! This time around though I've cut my portion even more and it seems to be working better. I've found that eating one thing for my meal instead of 4 small things works better. Like now, I'm having a bowl of homemade, vegetarian, gluten free bean stoup (stole the word from Rachael Ray) and its so much more satisfying then having, say some soup, some chips and a salad.

Another big advance in my diet is that I have done so well at resisting "tasting" things. Yesterday we went to Costco and I only tried two of the 15 samples. I had about 8 Jelly Belly's, and about an ounce of some new fizzy energy drink. Here are the things I passed up:
*Buttermilk bread with butter
*White bread with jam
*Hamburgers
*Chicken nuggets
*Chocolate cake (it took every ounce of will power I had not to grab the bowl she was mixing and run away to a corner and suck the sticky mess down only to lick the bowl and walk away like nothing happened)
*Raviolis
*Pita chips with salsa
*Something at the end of the desert isle that I refused to go look at
*Mini Quesidillas
*Dried mango (okay I took one bite but only because I was so intrigued at the oddness of it)
and so on. Also please note, this was extra hard because bread is my favorite thing in the world and trying to be disciplined with not eating gluten is causing my hair to gray)


I was so very proud of myself considering I usually make two or three rounds to make sure I get a few samples of all of the things I love. Today I did not taste the new swirly Cheeto's I got for Brandon. I did not put cheese on my Mexican style stoup because I knew it was so spicy I probably wouldn't be able to taste the cheese anyway. I did not finish Brandon's half eaten yogurt telling myself it was okay because it was yogurt (I totally licked my fingers though, but I will be sure to document that .0184 calories in my journal). I did not eat the fried breakfast potatoes I made for my husband this morning (I tasted one half inch sliver for taste and I don't count that either since I usually make myself a whole plate full). I did not eat the mayo covered bun pieces my husband left behind at dinner last night (even though those are the best bites of the whole burger since there is no meat on them).

I'm making progress here. I bet ya'll are reading this stuff and laughing at me because you are all the worlds most healthy people who don't steal Cheetos off their sons plate, or secretly drink half of their chocolate milk, telling yourself your only doing it because they would spill if they had a full cup. I'm positive I'm the only one who hovers around the shrimp section at Costco waiting for the lady to just put the damn fresh baked cookies out. I know I'm being laughed at because I can't imagine that there are more then a handful of people out there who have as little will power as me. It's fine though. I'm used to people thinking I'm odd.

I guess I hope that my new good habits will rub off on at least one person and little buy little my generation can stop being made fun of because we are some kind of fat slobs the world has never seen before.

However all of my portion controlling and calorie counting has one good side effect. At the end of the day, when I have a few extra calories laying around, I don't feel bad about increasing the portion size of my nightly bowl of slow churned half calorie ice cream. Its nice to know now on bad days, I can rearrange my meals to make sure I have that sweet, melty goodness at the end of the day. Because really, if I couldn't have my ice cream, I would probably just shrivel up and die. And really who cares if is below freezing in my house, and I have to wear a hat and mittens just to eat my ice cream. Hat hair is totally worth it.