Holding down the fort

I haven't been around much, I know. But damn have we been busy. The house remodel is sucking the life out of us, and I'm not even doing anything. Rob has been working there late meaning I make dinner later, and our schedule is just generally out of wack. I think the hardest part is just holding down the fort by myself. Dishes, and cleaning, and laundry, and kids, and snot, and more snot and oh hey did I tell you about the SNOT? Most of this is stuff I normally do, but I normally do it with an extra pair of hands to hold a kid or two. And honestly the kids probably wouldn't even be a problem if they weren't both sick. Also, if I wasn't sick. And also if there wasn't so much fucking SNOT! Everywhere I turn there is a fucking booger, and half of them are mine.

I have always appreciated my husband but man, these last few weeks with him gone I sure do appreciate him more. But, on the flip side I'm over the moon about him remodeling this house. I always secretly wanted a handy husband and mine was, well, lets just say don't lift the frames in my house or you will find a lot of holes. I always dreamt about that husband who just went in the garage made some noise and came back inside with a fabulous homemade bed or something. This means every time I stop by the house and see him cutting, pounding, hammering, or air nail gunning something I get really excited and visions of headboards go dancing through my head!

I've spent a lot of time looking at my kids and noticing differences. Then I realize that there is so much about Brandon as a baby that I already can't remember. I'm glad I have a few videos of him or I think I would probably forget it all. I hate that memories become fuzzy, and I find myself wondering if that memory was really of Brandon, or Codi, or some imaginary baby I've created in my head.

My sun burn has turned into a nice shade of leather with spots of peeling skin making it look like I have leprosy or some shit. It's all over my chest and arms which are the only two places I can't cover up in this heat. I'm really sexy right now, what with the spotting, and frazzled crazy eyed look on my face and did I mention the SNOT!

I'm trying to convince my son to eat his waffles right now. But when I pulled out the box of mini waffles he saw the picture on the front of all the different things you can do with them. One of them had "cream" (aka whipped cream) and strawberries. He then got pissed off at me because we didn't have any cream. He then told me that he wasn't eating his waffles until we went to the store and bought some cream. I tried explaining that the store was all out of cream which turned into him crossing his arms and stomping off exclaiming loudly about NO THE STORE NOT OUT OF CREAM MOM I WANT TO GO TO THE STORE NOW.

Well shit! Did I tell you guys that I had a raging hormonal 15 year old child trapped in an almost 3 year old childs body? His birthday is coming up and all the SNOT has really hindered going party shopping. I need to buy plates and decor and order his cake from the fancy cake lady here. We are going with a dinosaur theme. Since Brandon's favorite part of cake is frosting (good frosting not grocery store shit) I am having them make him a giant volcano on his cake that is ONLY FROSTING. That will be his piece. Then we will have dinosaurs and rocks and who knows what else they will put on it. My aunt is having a party lady come who makes balloon dinosaurs, and plays games and goody bags and can I tell you that all I'm worried about right now is whether or not any of his preschool friends will RSVP and if so how strange will it be for that to be the first time I meet these kids parents. I found myself putting a lot of effort into his little invites because the sick part of me really wanted to impress the other parents and kinda be like, "my kids invites are better then yours." I'm easily the youngest mom at his pre-school and because of that I feel like I have to bring my "A" game so I don't get trampled by the BMW driving, slack wearing, hair blown out, fancy purse, caked on make up moms there. Every morning they all show up so perfectly put together and I roll in, in my denim shorts and flip flops and I've decided they must all think I'm the nanny because surely no actual mother would go out of the house in flip flops and DENIM!!!!!!

I have to go now. I have to argue with my child about brushing teeth. Every morning I have to fight with him and bribe him to brush his fucking teeth. Every day we are late over teeth. I wish he would just understand that brushing his teeth means that later in life lots of little girlys will want to kiss him!

To add to my frustration, it's hot, and my boobs are big which = boob sweat. I think I should invent a boob deodorant or something, cuz this whole wearing a cute shirt with no bra thing, while it's fun, it is so not worth the boob sweat people!

Dear big mother fucker spider in my garage

Next time don't run so fucking fast so my husband can catch you. I'm tired of being terrified to go in my garage!

I can finally spill the beans

A little over a year ago I encouraged a friend of mine to send a text message. It turned into something neither of us expected. I never thought I would see something so wonderful blossom from one simple text. Now I see two people who are so perfect for each other. (Seriously she doesn't even mind his hunting, and he doesn't mind that she hates to hear no)

Congrats Steph & Eli

Head over and tell her congrats...and also, start piling on the wedding advice people, I haven't done this shit in a while, whats new and hip in the wedding world.

HIS NEW FAVORITE TOY

THIS LITTLE TABLE WAS BRANDONS. IT HAS A PIANO, FUN THINGS TO PUSH AND POKE AND WHAT NOT AND CODI JUST LOVES IT. HE STANDS AT IT FOR LIKE TEN WHOLE MINUTES WHICH IS ALMOST LIKE AN HOUR IN BABY TIME. HE WALKS ALL AROUND IT AND TOUCHES EACH SIDE. IT IS ADORABLE.

THEN HE USUALLY FALLS OVER AND CRIES.

It appears only one of us is vegetariant

Codi has decided that he doesn't want to be a vegetarian. Minutes later the combination of ribs and some red slurpy led to and EMERGENCY bath session for both boys.

Brandon is still preferring to eat his cheese straight from the tub. This kid loves shredded cheese.

I made a gorgeous whole roasted chicken last night. The recipe is here.

It made me giggle as I was putting the herb butter in. People are always shocked that as a vegetarian I will still cook meat. My favorite part though, is people who will eat meat but still won't touch it. I took a few cooking classes with ladies who refused to touch the raw chicken. There was one who refused to learn to de-bone a whole chicken simply because she wouldn't crack the rib bone. One lady who didn't want to learn to fillet a thigh because she WOULD NEVER be caught dead eating dark meat, because, and I quote, "that is poor people meat."

It would appear I have no problem touching chicken even though I won't eat it.

I discovered one thing this weekend. The fastest way to piss off a baby is to put his brother in a bath and not him. Codi stood on the side of the bath shouting and pointing his finger and slapping the side of the bath all in a defiant anger because his bath was over and brother was in there.

Oh wow I can't believe I almost forgot the biggest news of all. I got a third baby. It's a girl. Want to meet her?

Say hello to Olivia?


If your wondering how I got her let me tell you! First, I had decided I wasn't buying one. Then halfway through the day I decided I had to buy one or I might spontaneously combust. I left the kids at work, got in line and headed to the store. I found a line about a block long, it passed in front of about 6 or more stores and was going down hill. I had waited in line for about 15 minutes and close to 60 more people were behind me. Then my boss (MOM) called me and said the kids were awake I couldn't stand in line anymore. So I did what any logical person would do. I cried. Then I sucked it up, bought a Frosty and went back to work. At 3pm I got off early and got myself back in line. After spending about 45 minutes in line directly in front of the real life version of Comic Book Guy

He had his PSP's and all. He even brought along his son so he could use his credit to buy himself a phone. Suddenly it was my turn and a spunky little girl came running up to me asking "WHO WANTS TO BUY AN IPHONE". I am ashamed to admit I found myself throwing my hands in the air while simultaneously bouncing up and down shouting I DO I DO YAY IPHONE !!!!!!!!!!
Anyway spunky little girl took me to my spot, did a credit check stole my debit card and POOF I was the proud owner of a 16 gig white Iphone named Olivia. She even let me do the opening box ceremony and remove the phone before plugging it in to their computers to finish the process. Within seconds I was walking out chatting on my phone.

I had ported over from Helio and it hadn't finished so I could only call on the new phone and receive calls on the old one.

BUT THEN!

My husband had been browsing online decided that moving to at&t meant he wanted to get the LG VU phone. I called every store and the only one that had the phone happened to be all the way at the end of Sparks, aka 20 minutes away. We drive out there. Get the phone and start the port. I tell the lady that since we are moving shortly we will go ahead and set up our home phone, cable, and internet with them. I get $100.00 for leaving my current company, a mail in rebate for the full amount of the modem and so on. Also as soon as our new phone is installed we will be on the unity plan meaning any at&t number I call from my cell will be free and not count against my minutes. That means I can call my mom at home and blather away for an hour and not use a single cell phone minute. Well turns out it was the ladies first time doing this so TWO HOURS LATER we were finally leaving the store and heading home.

I shit you not, we walk out, get in the car, buckle our seatbelts and drive about 4 feet when my husband says, "well since my phone was so expensive anyway I SHOULD HAVE JUST GOTTEN AN IPHONE."

People I wanted to kill him. KILL HIM! This from the man who went on an on about not liking the iphone. Not wanting one. Blah blah blah the point is, I saw visions of lines in my head and I was going to put him in front of the car and run his ass over.

It was now 7:30. I called at&t and asked when they closed and they said 8. I decided to forgo returning his phone first and just getting in line at Apple. I would return his phone the next day. I called Ginger and asked if she wanted to waist an hour with me. We got in the store super fast. Got a phone and started the process.

ERROR

Huh, what? Error?

He says hang on, he has to call At&t he can't get something to work. 4 hours later, not only was his little scanny mabob reading error but the fucking APPLE SERVERS CRASHED. Crashed people. APPLE. Shouldn't they have a goddamn backup? At 11:30 a half hour after closing the manager finally agreed to let us put hold messages on our phones, get claim checks and come back. I went back first thing in the morning on Saturday and after almost 2 hours of error messages finally walked out with my husbands shiny black iphone. I'm going to call his Thor!

Finally I left and headed over to the closest At&t store. I was informed of two things. Thing 1: Since they weren't the store that originally sold my husbands phone, and it was pricey they didn't want to take the loss on the return. And Thing 2: No matter what store I went to I would have to wait for a refund check since I paid cash and none of the drawers had enough cash. I called the girl who had helped me in Sparks and she was pissed that they wouldn't help me. I drove another 20 fucking minutes out to sparks and spent the better part of an hour getting my plan fixed, the other phone returned, the case for the husbands phone and what not. Finally the lady felt so bad that I had to wait for a check she applied a student discount to my cell phone bill. Then on top of that, since my husbands phone wasn't ported yet, they applied a $25.00 credit to my account for the trouble.

Moral of the story. I'm cool, I have an Iphone now. I work it like a pro. I can't figure out how to download a ringtone for the life of me, and if you live in my area, go see Rita at the Los Altos At&t mobile store!

Oh, the other moral of the story is,
IF YOUR HUSBAND SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT AN IPHONE HE IS LYING. USE YOUR BETTER JUDGEMENT AND JUST BUY TWO THE FIRST FUCKING TIME YOU VISIT THE APPLE STORE!

Summer bouillabaisse (or fish stew as a friend calls it)

Recipe can be found here.

For those of you looking for an update on the clusterfuck house we took a break yesterday to let the water heater fill back up to see if that is what is causing the leak. Then the husband started a softball tourney and my dad has been working 83957 hour days so we just took a little break. Mom and I are going to pick out carpet for the husbands game room and to look at something call marmoleum which is an earth friendly click in flooring for the kitchen...think 1970's school cafeteria flooring...it's pretty rad! If we can find a good piece of carpet I'll have pictures of one complete room for ya'll soon!

Let's talk Preschool

About 3 weeks ago I signed Brandon up for preschool. I briefly mentioned it here but I didn't say to much because I wanted to wait a few weeks to see how I really felt about it all.

In the beginning it was hard. They always say it's harder on the parent then the kid but I really think it was hard on both of us. The first week Brandon cried every day at school. He cried the most when he woke up from naps and Rob nor I were there. Then, to crush my heart more he would come home and say, "I cry at school mom, cuz you almost lost me." Thats what he thought. He thought I just lost him and wasn't coming to find him. It killed me and I honestly almost didn't pay for the second week.

Now, he barely gives me a kiss when I drop him off, and is already across the playground with his posse before I can even call out an "I love you". He has friends now and talks excitedly about what he did at school. He loves the TumbleBus and recognizes it every Wednesday when we drive up to the school. He's had two field trips and done countless art projects. I think my favorite part is that he is now eating new foods. He wanted to be like the other kids so he ate like them and now he likes chicken and mashed potatoes, and all kinds of other foods he never wanted before. He has friends (they are the bad gang) and they play together each day. He loves his teacher and talks about her every night.

I would have to say my only complaint at all is the sickness. He's already had one really bad cold and today was sent home with pink eye. Ugggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think Brandon is getting a gazillion times more smart, and I have to be honest when I say, I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not, because now the little shit can totally outsmart me and totally back talk me!

It is still hard every day and I'm just thankful I picked a school with a video camera so I can watch his nap, or see him play and check in with my own eyeballs and know he is fine.

Demolition Derby

Yesterdays theme was demolition derby and mold discovery.
http://watchusmove.blogspot.com/

Book review grief

First of all I didn't know this book has had 3 different covers. Odd! The point of this is, I don't really know how to do book reviews with out spoiling the book. There are so many things I want to talk about for instance, what I would have liked to see happen, what I feel was left out, and what I loved. Honestly it is hard to even summarize the book with out giving away part of what happens.

I love the book. I've read it twice now, both times I loved it. I read it the first time when I was much younger but felt like rereading it again. I enjoy Wally Lamb, I would like to re-read This Much I Know is True, also by him. I have always wished I had friends who read as much as me, or at least who read the same things as me so we could read together and then discus the book. I finally thought I could discuss books on here, until I realized last time I totally blew the ending.

So. I liked the book. It was good. There were a few things I want to know about the ending but they are things I don't even think most people would worry about. I recommend the book, it's a good read, not a funny read, a serious one. I love it! Go get it, read it and then we can all talk about it!

Sunburns bring out the good memories

Did I ever tell you guys about that one really bad sunburn I got a few years ago? You know the one that made me extra intelligent? No? Well let me! A few years back I went to the lake. I came back so burned I might as well have been purple. The problem was this left me with a stupid peeling face. I've always been that girl who picked the dead skin off and then got mad at the spots of different colored non burned skin that was hiding under the peel. Every year I did that. But this year my whole face was peeling all the way into my hair line, and suffice it to say, I WAS PISSED.

I sat at work pondering what to do for hours. I would get up look in the bathroom mirror, get irritated with the skin and walk away. Then I would pout at my desk for a bit and then start the process over. Finally I saw the answer to it all. I work for a heating company which means we have lots of duct tape laying around. I grabbed a big roll took off to the bathroom and went to town. Had you been a fly on the wall you would have seen me in there pulling off face size strips of tape smashing them onto my face and then peeling them off as if I was getting an eyebrow wax. DEAD SKIN BE GONE!

If you had been a fly on the wall about five minutes later you would have heard me screeching in pain from pulling skin of that wasn't ready to come off. Now, all the sensitive burned skin was just sitting there unprotected and ON FUCKING FIRE. So, I wisely slathered some lotion on.

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD!

I wanted to die. The pain was awful. Just awful! Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse it did. The new fresh skin that was no longer burned but just sensitive ended up getting burned a few days later creating new peeling skin on top of old peeling skin and essentially 3 different skin tones. The jackass part is that my stupid self seriously went back in, duct taped my face off and repeated the same fucking excruciating pain!

This year I'm staring at the peeling skin saying fuck it, you can stay there forever because if I even touch one little piece I know I'll be back in that bathroom with the fucking duct tape, and people, the idea of baby nails scraping freshly ripped off skin....well, it doesn't sound fun.