Back to the sleepless nights

I was chatting with my cousin the other day about how my insomnia is coming back strong. I had insomnia for a good 10 years and I had started to finally get control of it (meaning I got a good 4-5 hours of undisturbed sleep as oppose to 2-3 of tossing and turning. I have tried Ambien and what not, and that just makes me feel stoned and philosophical, which is how most prescription drugs make me feel. She told me I need ed to stop stressing out so much at night. I busted out laughing, and realized that while I'm constantly stressed all day and my mind reals non stop at night, it goes at a different kind of non stop. You see at night, while I am up all night, I'm not thinking about bills, and work, and my kids. Noooo here are the things that run through an insomniacs mind.

Why is it Stephanie from Lazy Town is human but her uncle is plastic and really, why doesn't Little Bear wear clothes that is weird. And in the episode of Little Bear where they made duck soup by throwing a bunch of stuff in a bowl of water and letting the duck swim in it, how could they really want to eat it AFTER A DUCK SWAM IN IT! I didn't do crunchies tonight, I should for sure do them in the morning. But, the morning is my only time to relax for a while and crunchies really aren't relaxing. I'm very thirsty, but if I drink water I'll have to pee, wait, I already have to pee. Hmm do I get up and pee or just lay here and think about peeing. Okay I'll pee. Oh look, theres the closet, I really need to come up with a shoe organizing system. Why is the bathroom so scary at night? It isn't scary during the day, its a toilet, I mean IT'S A TOILET. Yeah but at night its a spooky toilet. He he it's cute when Brandon says spooky. Ugg I wish I could find comfortable pillows. I wish Rob didn't get so hot so I could have a feather duvet on our bed. You know this really isn't fair. We've gone like 5 years with his kind of blanket, shouldn't we go like 5 years with my kind of blanket. THATS IT tomorrow I'm buying a duvet. Ohhh probably not because that would involve money, and I don't spend money on me, especially because a new duvet would need a cover and then I would need matching sheets and pillow cases, and thats thousands of dollars. But I do need a new sheet. I wonder if Rob remembers the time he ripped my sheet. I remember. He was standing right there helping me make the bed when RIIIIIP he tugged to hard. I remember feeling like my heart ripped in half because that was a $250.00 Hotel Collection 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheet. Why do I always have to say the whole brand and thread count when I talk about my sheets? What was I supposed to do Saturday. Ahhh nothing. Oh wait, no there was something. What was it? SHIT I FORGET. I should carry a planner around. Wait, I tried that. It was a fancy one too and it just sat in my purse. Okay well I'm going to start using my computer calender, if only I could figure out how to synch work and home computers. I wonder if I should paint my toenails this year. Do I even have toe nail polish? I used to have gallons and gallons of the stuff. I wish I knew how to put on make up. No, I look ridiculous in make up. I wonder if Rob would be mad if I put make up on Brandon and put his hair in pig tails. No I don't even have to wonder, he would probably throw me out and change the keys. I couldn't even sneak and do it either because I would have to take a picture of it, and then I would have to put it on my blog, and he reads my blog so that won't work. Speaking of my blog, I should really write a blog about something great. Now I just need something great and funny to happen to me. What was that really funny blog I was writing in my head this morning? Think Shannon, Think! You can do this. Dammit, it was a good one too! Boinga, boinga, boinga, everything is boinga, BOINGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This writers strike is lame. I want my shows back. I wish Top Chef was on like three times a week like Big Brother. It's lame that it isn't on that often. Man, I can't believe I used to weigh as much as the people on biggest loser. How did I not see it. It must be because I was so blinded by my fabulous smile. I don't understand why people can't just smile good for pictures. I have a great picture smile. I shouldn't tell people I think this because that sounds vein or whatever. And I'm not vein, because I hate most of myself, but my smile, every time I see it I want to say KACHINGA like that guy on Cars. Kachinga Kachinga pow pow look at my smile. OH man Shannon shut up your so annoying.


Annnnnnd that takes up about 20 minutes of my night. My cousin was laughing so hard when I told her this. She thought my insomnia was caused about worrying about important stuff. Clearly some of you don't understand insomnia!

I swear we are a very nutritional family

Shrimp pasta alfredo

Visit here for the recipe

New specs

If any one of you comments on my whiteness you will be forever banned from this blog.
An example of this would be my cousin telling me I was so white I was nearly blue.

Thanks fucker!

A quick and easy griller

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Mortified

Remember earlier I mentioned that my husband was being a turd this weekend.  Well I wanted to tell you my favorite story from this weekend.

Sunday morning we all wake up.  Rob eats breakfast and he heads of to take his morning dump.  All the sudden Brandon starts jumping around that he has to go to the bathroom.  So I tell him to go and make sure not to pee on the floor.  He starts bouncing around and I ask what's wrong.  He says daddy is in his bathroom.  So I say okay go in daddies and be sure to keep it in the toilet.  I put Codi down and go in after him. He pees and flushes and then I give him his undies and pants to put on. Then I go potty flush and we leave.  

About 15 minutes later I ask Rob something and he being total short with me.  I was like babe what's your problem.  He said he was annoyed because I didn't go in the bathroom with Brandon.  

Me:  Uhh yeah I did

Rob: Did you wipe him

Me: There was nothing to wipe

Rob:  Come on Shannon it smelled like shit in there, why don't you just say you didn't go in

Me: Because I did go in

Rob: Babe he was in there flushing the toilet a few times and it smells like poop, so if you didn't even know he pooped you couldn't have wiped him

Me: **Becoming VERY annoyed**  I did go in there Rob and he went pee and he put on his undies and pants and flushed

Rob: Shannon it smells like shit in there

Me: OMFG I WENT POOP CAN YOU LEAVE IT ALONE ALREADY I POOPED AFTER HE PEED THATS WHY YOU HEARD THE TOILET FLUSH TWICES (wanting to crawl in a hole and die a long death because I DON'T ADMIT TO MY HUSBAND I POOP)

Rob: **Busts out laughing**  All you had to do was say you shit

Me: NOOOOOOO Because then you would know I poop, and stop saying Shit

Rob: But you do poop

Me: You should have just trusted me and dropped it.

Rob:  You should have just said you pooped

Me:  Omg stop talking about how I pooped lets just drop it now.

Rob: **Still laughing** But you did poop

Me: STOOOOOOOPPPPP I DON'T POOP

Me: You sooooooo owe me an apology for thinking I didn't go in there and then not believing Me when I said I did

Rob: Okay, I'm sorry but you should just say you went in and shit

Me: Aggggggg shush

Rob: I could smell the shit

Me: I know but if I sprayed then you would have heard that and then you would have really known I was in there pooping so I didn't spray because I didn't think you would be in there sniffing the bathroom

Rob:  Just laughing at me.

I am sooooo mortified.  I can't believe I got caught pooping.  This is only the second time in SIX YEARS that he has caught me and it is no less embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!!

He tells me not to post the nice but it was just so cute

So this weekend Rob was being kind of pissy and short. It wasn't stretching to say that he was on his man period this weekend. By Sunday morning I was ready to kill him with his attitude. Around 10:00 we had to go pick up my car from the window tinting place which meant I had to ride in the car with him. Seconds before we get in the car he gets all short with me again. I got super cranky back and started pretty much ignoring him. He finally asks whats wrong and I told him that he had been being a total shit head a few times this weekend. So I turn away from him and look at the window and all the sudden I hear.

He he it was the cutest thing I've ever heard him do. I look over and hes got his bottom lip out and has this sad sorry little face on. I just busted out laughing. it was very funny. I loved it. For the rest of the day everything was okay and he got off his period. I'm glad he was a butthead this weekend though or he never would have had a chance to play me the song.

As sung by Brandon

Twinkle twinkle little star, I wonder what hoppened.

Twinkle twinkle little star I go to park

Laaaaaaaaaaaa park yeah park laaaaaaa star I go to park

What hoppened little star

Finally becoming a mom

There are times in your life when you think your a mom. Times when you assume that just because you have children you are a mom. Then there are things that happen, that stop you in your tracks and make you say, TODAY I AM A MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning I had one of those moments. I was getting Brandon out of the car when I looked at him, licked my hand and smoothed down his hair. Then, I stopped dead in my tracks, and said, "well no shit, NOW I am a mom!!!!!"

Then a few hours later I found myself thinking how hard it is to pick your 4 month olds boogers when he won't quit wiggling and it happened again, I'm picking boogers and spit styling, why yes sir, I do think I'm a mom!

It kind of reminds me of an election

The piercing question reminds me of the last election where everyone was arguing over the results. Do boobs count as 2 piercings or one, since by belly button was pierced 3 different times then is that three piercings or one? Goodness. Either way, Rachel and Coffee slut win because 3 was the number I had set in my head. However after thinking about it I realize that boobs could be two different things because I guess a lot of people only pierce one and not the other. Strange.

I went to Old Navy this weekend to grab some tank tops. I thought I would try on jeans just to gauge what size I am there. I picked up some 14s and then thought, what the hell why not grab some 12s. They fit. They were actually baggy and I probably could have tried on 10s but since I wasn't buying jeans I didn't feel like wasting the time. Anyway my actual question is this. When I started my diet I was a size 18. Now I'm roughly a size 12. So. Did I go down 6 sizes meaning 18-12 =6 or did I go down 4 sizes meaning 18, 16, 14, 12= 4 sizes? Also, why is it womens jeans aren't done like mens jeans? You know 30, 31, 32, 33. All of their pants are sized the same and they get all the sizes. I really think women get screwed. I mean I know that while the 12s are baggy the 10's might be a little snug so why is it I don't have the option of an 11 yet my husband has the option of a 31?

While I'm busy bitching about sizes please explain to me why a size 12 isn't the same size for every fucking designer? Friday at work I pulled out all of my old jeans. I had 5 pairs of Lucky's in size 14 and 2 pairs of Abercrombies in size 12. Tell me how it is the 12's fit perfect but the fucking Lucky's were snug? Or how my size 16 Old Navy jeans are GIANORMOUS but my size 16 Lucky's fit perfect?

Codi took a bath today and I think he is too chubby to fit properly in his bath tub. I find this super duper cute. He keeps looking bigger yet weight wise, no change. He has a doctors appointment Thursday and I'm excited to see his weight. I'm also excited to find out if I can feed him steak rice cereal yet, because he won't quit staring at my spoon.

Okay must go snuggle fresh bathed baby now!