Houston we have a problem

One year later

The day I found out I was pregnant with Codi I weighed 161. I had just lost 34 pounds. Here I am on 03.15.08

2 weeks after having Codi here I am at about 195

I've now come full circle. One year later I weigh 160.4 and am in the same outfit as I was when I got pregnant. I'm moving on to my next goal of 150 pounds.

ALSO, AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICES THAT THE ONLY HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PHOTO ONE AND PHOTO TWO IS I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET WHITER???? WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE I LOOK LIKE A DAMN ALBINO!
To watch my progress along with the progress of my friends come see us here. Remember, it's not to late to join.
Tuesday Tummy Tuck

BULLETS

• I wake up often during the night. Ever time I wake up during the night, and in the morning I wake up singing the fucking Backyardagins commercial. If you watch Noggin you know what I mean. The BOINGA SONG. Boinga, everything is boinga (pronounced boyn GA). Boinga is a stupid song to have stuck in your head. So now, every time I wake up I am up for at least 45 minutes trying to stop singing Boinga.
  
• Last night for a little variety I woke up singing a tune from Lazy Town.
• Starting your day singing children's songs is a great sign of the day to come.
  
• I also lay around in bed thinking of blogs. For instance last night I laid there for hours saying, self, you need to post about the fucking boinga so maybe the fucking boinga will go away. In my head I said it just like that.
  
• Do you know that every time I'm about to do something I take my glasses off. This includes read. So right now I go to staple some checks and I put my glasses on my head. When I eat they have to be off my face. It drives me nuts, I hate having them on but can't see with out em.
• It is VERY hard to work with a new born smiling at you
• Yes I call my three and a half month old son a newborn what you gonna do about it?
• When I stack papers the smallest one has to be on top. So earlier I was putting all the checks in a stack. Most are stapled to a larger piece of paper but two aren't. Those two have to be on top or I totally freak out.
• On the same note when I make a bank deposit all the large size checks have to be in back and the small ones in front. Then they have to be written on the deposit in the order of smallest check to largest checks. Checks that are taller then the large checks but less wide really piss me off and ruin my whole day because they have to go out of order.
• I'm eating lunch right now egg salad, and ever since my husband toasted his bread for an egg salad I have to toast mine. In fact egg salad on untoasted bread is just plain wrong now.
  
• I've chewed so much gum today in order to avoid over snacking that my tongue hurts from all the chewing.
• I've had about 7 cups of tea today and I think I've peed more then when I was pregnant.
  
• It is 43 degrees outside and I'm wearing flip flops simply becuase 43 degrees is warmer then 10 degrees and there is no visible snow which means it is flip flop weather in my eyes.
• I am done with my lunch break that means I have to stop typing now and go back to working. Adios suckers!
  

Tonights dinner

Cheesy chicken pasta
See the recipe here
http://tasteytemptations.blogspot.com/2008/03/cheesy-chicken-pasta.html

Just not ready to go to work

I want to watch Iron Chef and sleep some more. Did you know having two kids makes sleep non existent? Did you know that the new born isn't the one causing the lack of sleep? It is the 2 year old who likes to wake up at 4:45 AM. Did you know 4:45 means he slept in? I've been showering at night a lot. Which means I wake up with that, What the fuck is wrong with my hair look. My bangs are slicked back on the top of my head, my hair has waves that aren't the sexy kind and my part kind of bends funny. I'm feeling bloated and nothing fits. Brushing my teeth would take effort. Bending down to put on socks would be considered my exercise for the day. Sigh. Do you ever feel like this?

I feel like a Shel Silverstein poem, tell me, how do you feel today?

Sick by Shel Silverstein "I cannot go to school today," Said little Peggy Ann McKay. "I have the measles and the mumps, A gash, a rash and purple bumps. My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, I'm going blind in my right eye. My tonsils are as big as rocks, I've counted sixteen chicken pox And there's one more--that's seventeen, And don't you think my face looks green? My leg is cut--my eyes are blue-- It might be instamatic flu. I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke, I'm sure that my left leg is broke-- My hip hurts when I move my chin, My belly button's caving in, My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained, My 'pendix pains each time it rains. My nose is cold, my toes are numb. I have a sliver in my thumb. My neck is stiff, my voice is weak, I hardly whisper when I speak. My tongue is filling up my mouth, I think my hair is falling out. My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight, My temperature is one-o-eight. My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear, There is a hole inside my ear. I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what? What's that? What's that you say? You say today is. . .Saturday? G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

Are you hungry yet

In case you were wondering what to make for dinner, how does smokey mozzarella chicken with asparagus and potatoes sound?
http://tasteytemptations.blogspot.com/

Pee

Yeah. Thats right. I'm going to post about pee. My son is potty trained. He has been since he was just over two. I love this. While I totally love not changing diapers, I still have to wipe his ass all the same so that feels no different. In fact, in some instances him being potty trained feels a little more like a root canal, it hurts like shit for a while and then eventually feels better. Right now, him being potty training hurts like shit.

At least 3 times a week I go into the bathroom to find poop smeared across the toilet. Great. Not only does that mean he was in here grunting out poops bigger then the pork loin I cooked last night and smearing it on my seat, it also means hes now running around the house with poop smeared all over his butt and likely on his fingers from attempting to wipe an assfull of poop with one tiny 1/4 inch of toilet paper.

However, the poop isn't even what gets me. Its the fucking pee. At first, he used to just have some insane nack for pissing right under the toilet seat. It was like he would sit down and think, gee how can I make peeing the most fun. I know, I'll pee right between the seat and the bowl so it shoots out all over the wall and scale and carpet in front of me. Shit this is more fun then going to a circus.

Finally my husband magically taught him to hold his peepee and aim down! Novel idea huh, not pissing on the wall every day. But then, while hanging out with his nanny one day he let a little pee slip out of the toilet and she laughed. Smart cookie there. You should always laugh when your child is doing something wrong, really, laughing is exactly what to do to make them stop. The next thing I know he is arching his pelvis making the pee shoot over the seat and ALL over the floor. Apparently he hadn't peed in a month because he managed to make a puddle in front of the toilet, behind it, under it, down the hall and probably out side down the block. I was pissed off. He continued doing this shit for about 2 weeks hoping I would laugh. Once again my magic husband broke him of this habit.

Enter my dad. He got the idea in his head that Brandon was 13 and totally capable of aiming his tiny piss rocket into the toilet. Yeah, he thought it would be awesome to teach my 2 year old child to pee standing up. So yeah okay sure, if I managed to have spidey sense and know every time he peed and I somehow got him to aim right the first time it would be fun. However the last 3 times he's gone in with out me knowing, started peeing above the toilet and finding that so fun continued peeing all down the side of the counter on top of the counter in the sink, and honestly I don't even want to think of my toothbrush, well that wasn't so awesome.

Anyway I told EVERYONE no more standing to pee, and EVERYONE laughed at me like oh whatever Shannon your such a party pooper. Then last night, I walked in to see him soaking my bathroom and that was it. It was 7:30 at night, I was pooped and my fucking bathroom was covered in pee. I haphazardly cleaned it up, knowing today was huge cleaning day (every two weeks I scrub every inch of my house) and told my parents under no certain terms that THEY BETTER STOP LETTING HIM PEE STANDING UP BECAUSE I WAS A BIG PILE OF MESSY TEARS AND CLEANING PEE WASN'T HELPING. We talked to Brandon and said no more standing, only sitting and only PEE IN THE TOILET!

However it appears the damage is done. Just now he informed me he had to pee. I was holding Codi so by the time I put him down and made it to the bathroom Brandon was already on the toilet. He said, "Look mommy I sit down pee toilet." I was soo proud of him. Upon further inspection I saw it. Pee all over the side of the counter, the wall, the plunger, the trash, the floor and the toilet. What I figure happened is he attempted peeing standing up one more time, realized he was peeing every where but in the toilet freaked out and tried to sit down and finish before he heard me coming. So that means my freshly scrubbed bathroom was now covered in piss again. I was deflated. I told him to just go find his dad and proceeded to scrub the floors, walls, and other things I had just scrubbed. I feel like bawling. Cleaning pee is not my idea of a happy Sunday. So, in case you were thinking about potty training your child...remember diapers really aren't all that bad!

**Edited to add: Don't even get me started on the track marks I just found on his brand new clean fresh comforter.

Just in time for Lent

I posted a salmon recipe over here for those of you being healthy, or participating in lent.

Taking procautions (I say pro cuz I think it's a positive thing, so I do realize the spelling error, mmmmkay)

I've been making efforts to become healthier lately. I found a picture of myself right after my wedding and I was astonished I looked that way. I mean, I knew I was fat but I think until now I didn't know I looked like a walking Biggest Loser billboard. I find it funny how many people are probably walking around right now thinking, ehhh I'm heavy but I'm not that bad, I'm still kind of sexy. Then they lose about 20 pounds and then they say OOOOO now I get it, I was only a few pounds away from getting milked and renamed Bessy! At the same time I can't believe how many skinny girls are out there who think they are fat (LH I'm looking at you). I just want to shake them and say hey jackass I'll trade you for your size 4's any day, really here, you can go ahead and have my SIZE 14'S jackass.

Okay not the point. The point was, since having kids, and becoming sober (yeah probably cut out about 94520498759890 calories just in liquor alone, wait I did the math just now and I saved 2,478 calories a day just by cutting out amaretto ) I've been making a real actual effort to get healthy. Not just skinny healthy but HEALTHY. You know, like granola cruncher kinda healthy. I've been trying to eat 3 meals a day and 3 snacks a day. I try and make sure one snack is fruit. I make sure to eat fruit with every breakfast and to eat at least two different vegetables a day. I try and cook most of what I eat and I try not to eat at restaurants or fast food places. I won't say never because if I have one fast food meal in 3 months that isn't bad. I try and keep my chocolate consumption to 15 bars a day and 24 bars on the weekend. I cut out all soda, all flavored waters and basically anything that wasn't healthy for me to drink. I'm only drinking water, coffee, milk, V-8, tea and orange juice in moderation. My husband informed me that a Venti Caramel Frapaccino in no way classifies as coffee, DAMMIT! Whatever, I'll remember that when I'm preparing his beets for dinner (background, he agreed to eat a veggie a day if I gave up soda and flavored water.)

I'm really trying my hardest to take vitamins. Seriously I take flax seed oil, one a day, probiotics, calcium magnesium vitamin D, Vitamin C and an all vegetable organic fiber supplement daily.

I'm watching my calories and really trying to find a nice balance between weekdays and weekends. A huge part of what I'm doing is trying to make eating healthy feel normal rather then feel like something I'm doing as a quick fix to a weight issue. I want to make it so in 10 years I still think eating veggies and fruits every day is a normal thing, and at the same time so do my kids. In fact every night Brandon tastes a new vegetable. His most favorite of all is trees (broccoli) and carrots which makes me laugh so hard considering those are two of the hardest things to get kids to eat.

I try and read labels. I avoid as much hydromonsterated oils as possible, I don't like a lot of sugar, I prefer my sodium to come out of my own salt dish, not prepackaged foods. I try and get in a yogurt a day and I like my cheese to be fresh not that rubber cheese they try and pass off as American cheese. The only thing American about it, is that it isn't healthy which is the same for most Americans, we aren't healthy.

I have switched to whole wheat pasta (My husband is somewhere glaring at me right now because he can tell I'm typing those words), I've mostly eliminated bacon from my cooking. I have tried to cut back on my rich sauces and cream bases and make more broth bases or things from pan juices. I have been baking my tortillas instead of frying them and adding more spices and fresh foods to my food rather then jarred and packaged unidentifiable mystery powders you buy at the store.

The point of this entire blog, is that lately I've started feeling like I was one whole grain away from turning into a Kashi commercial, so to be safe, I took precautions and ordered some back up. My order looks similar to this only bigger.

He he, not really, this is my real order, but still, definitely preventing a full Kashi, granola cruncher, hippie overload huh!

*Don't forget to stop by the comment section on this blog and leave me your funniest, dirtiest, cutest, jokes, the winner gets a spot light on my blog.

Spooky

My kid, Jens kid, same out fit, same day, same top snap undone. It's just spooky I tell you.

(Codi)

(Coleton)