Food & the final question

Saly asked me: I also want to know how you became so interested in as well as so diversified in everything culinary.

First of all there are a few things I should say. I don't know shit about food. Aside from 8 private classes at a culinary school here in my town I have no formal schooling. That being said, you should also know that I am a firm believer that schooling or not you need to have a passion for food and put heart into it to be able to cook. Anyway I will share with you my thoughts and beliefs on food, in a lovely little bulleted post.

• Like I said above, you need to love your food. I don't mean love it like a fat person loves cake, but love it for what it is. Food is there to taste good, and nourish you, and if you are cooking it for someone else it is there to show them how you feel about them. In my personal opinion, if you are cooking for a loved one you put your whole heart into it. Don't just throw something on a plate and call it good, put you heart into it. The number one way to tell when I'm in a funk, my food suffers. To most people it is still fine, but to my husband and I, its obvious when I'm having a bad week. I smile and laugh and purely enjoy every second of cooking every night. I enjoy it especially now that my husband eats vegetables.
• In my opinion this world over seasons food. I realize that we have grown up in a Dorito, trans fat, MSG super sodium world and that means when we cook at home a lot of us have a tendency to put to much SHIT on their food. When I cook most of the time, my food is very umm unmodified. When I cook a vegetable I like to taste my vegetable not butter and spice and shit. I like veggie, maybe some garlic and some olive oil. When I cook Mexican for myself, its simple flavors, some beans some veggies and a bit of salsa. I make my husbands two ways, some times with cumin and chilli powder and sometimes with just garlic and onions and then he can put some salsa on. He commented to me once that Americans really screw up Mexican food by putting to much shit in it. I didn't believe him and then I made the pork carnitas. I made them the way they were meant to be made. With onions and garlic and thats it. Everyone kept saying add peppers add this, yours will be plain and bland. My husband responded, NO I like to taste what I'm eating. I felt like a proud mom at that point knowing my husband preferred the natural unmodified food as opposed to over seasoned shit. I prefer a little stock on something to some kind of creamy gloppy canned soup dumped over it, I prefer to roast something then to boil it. I just like food to taste it's best.
• My passion for cooking came from birth. I've always had an interest in it. When I was little my mom had some old spice rack sitting outside and I took it and started spicing up my mud cakes before I fed them to the neighbor dogs. (FYI dogs like their mud cakes au natural also, NOT with cayenne pepper). My grandpa cooks too, also with no schooling, but simply from the heart. He was a military cook meaning he had to learn how to make stuff good and be creative. I love cooking. I'm calm while I cook, I'm peaceful and I am so proud to present my food.
• BE CREATIVE! I hate it when people don't think outside the box. Cooking isn't hard. Food doesn't have to be eaten the way you've always eaten it. For instance, with salads, ANYTHING can go on a salad. Doesn't matter what. Try out different beans, and different nuts, and cheeses. Salad isn't only croûtons and tomatoes. It's not just jarred salad dressings. IT'S NOT JUST DRESSINGS. I've used sour cream with salsa or hummus or just salsa in place of dressing. I've tried olives in my potato salad and sunflower seeds in my stir fry (YUM). I put chips on my sandwich (ruffles on pb&j whoah will blow your mind), and I like to use chips, or nuts or seeds in place of croûtons. I make pizza on pitas instead of dough. I've tasted whole wheat pasta with an open mind and I liked it better. The key here is to not be afraid!
• Not to advocate diets but sometimes trying different diets teaches you more about food. I've done Atkins and I've lived a gluten free lifestyle, and also tried being lactose free. Doing the entire diet might not be for you, BUT being restricted really teaches you to try new thing. It forces you to open your brain and think outside the box. When I want something I don't think, gee I'll run to the store and get it, I think how can I create that with what I have. When I make macaroni I use different cheese. When I want soup, I don't buy canned shit. I open my fridge look at the veggies and beans and potatoes and stock I have and think DUH SOUP! I put in garlic, leeks, spinach, cabbage, red beans, black beans, canalini beans, different spices (not much I like to taste my veggies), real tomatoes, and so on. I don't limit myself. It always always test better then a stupid can. Then I top it with different kinds of chips or cheeses. I try different breads. Rosemary bread rocks my socks. I can no longer eat plain frumpy bread I need rosemary or sourdough or ciabatta!
  
• Another thing I like to do is play with sauces. I make a great spicy lemon sauce, heavy cream lemon peels, red pepper flakes, poultry seasoning, cayenne pepper, and thats it. It's great on chicken and fish and asparagus. Experiment with one base and then tossing other things in to make a nice little dipping sauce for your food.
• As you cook, taste your food. How will you know if it is good unless you taste it first? I taste the whole way through the cooking. Remember things get spicier as they cook, pepper gets hotter if it is on direct heat as opposed to in a sauce, make sure you have enough garlic, enough salt, its not too sour or too sweet. TASTE TASTE TASTE!
• Try and use fresh stuff when you can. I do not use anything out of a can besides beans when I don't have time to make my own. I mostly buy fresh veggies, but for veggie dip I will use frozen spinach. Try and buy organic, try and buy fresh, take pride in what you buy, it may cost more, but in the end it adds years to your life, sets great examples for your kids and cost less then fast food or processed caca food!
  
• Most of all, remember, don't hide your food taste it, try everything once (no Rob this doesn't mean I will try tongue or other meats, I DON'T EAT MEAT).
  

Putting on my crazy hat

This was one of those weekends. Where I let the crazy come right out and SHINE! Rob and I been on a budget lately. This means that besides necessities I really haven't bought myself anything. And with the exception of veggies, dairy and soy food everything I've been buying myself has been cheap. I have bought store brand coffee creamer that taste like dust and I haven't had shaving cream in far to long. So Friday its nice out and I decide to ride my bike home. I had a million reasons not to, it was late, I still needed to go to the store and cook Rob dinner and he was home alone with both kids. But I made the choice and went riding. I got home and took Brandon with me to the store. When we got there my mom called and said she wanted to take Rob to sushi. Well since we only had one car because I had left mine at work and rode my bike home, he couldn't leave until I got home. I was trying to hurry but everyone kept calling and texting me asking if I was done yet. On top of everything Brandon had to go potty twice while we were there slowing me down. When we were done I headed to the check out and Brandon saw those little Lindt truffle chocolates and asked for one. He had been really good and I haven't bought him anything lately so I grabbed 2 for him and 2 for me. I knew that for single bite chocolates they were expensive, but I thought that since I had ridden my bike that day and would have to the next day, and had given up my bagel (more on that in a sec) that some chocolate wouldn't hurt. I tossed in a Godiva caramel too and called it a night. On the way home Brandon and I each ate one of our candies and I left the rest in Robs car for the next day as an incentive to really ride to work. I got home and Rob rushed off to sushi and a little part of me wanted to just kill him because he could just go out and eat what he wanted, he didn't have to count calories like me. But I digress. Saturday morning I woke up and I even did some yoga and then I went on my bike ride. I came home and ate a super healthy lunch and decided I could have my precious chocolates. I walked out to his car and they were gone. I asked him where he put them, because he doesn't eat chocolate I knew he had to have moved em. His reply, "I threw em away." I am pretty sure I resembled a tin can when he said this because I was crushed. To give you a little back story Rob is a neat freak. He hates stuff in his car. I have a bad habit of leaving stuff behind but I've gotten so good these last few years. HOWEVER since I didn't have a car and knew I would be getting it in the morning I figured it would be okay to leave my chocolate in the console over night with my bank receipts. I also figured since I was so super rushed out of his car so he could go to sushi he would understand why they were still there as I carried in all 7 grocery bags and got Brandon in all on my own just so he could hurry and leave. Here is where I got mad. He brought my bank receipts in but chose to throw away the chocolate. I got mad. I was like babe did you not learn last year when you threw away my perfectly good Krispy Kreme? His response was, "well you shouldn't have left it in my car, besides it's just candy, go buy more." There in lies the problem. I couldn't just buy more, that cost money. In my mind he had just tossed close to a dollar of chocolate in the trash and that dollar could pay for half of an organic milk for Brandon. Not to mention I only left it there because I had no where else to put it and I don't buy stuff for myself so the fact that I did meant there was no chance I would go spend more money to replace something I felt bad about buying anyway. Needless to say I was mad. I was mad he didn't even ask me if I wanted it, he just threw it away. I told him I was mad and went about my day.


Finally that night I just had to let the crazy out. I have felt so frustrated all week. With all the budgeting going on I'm automatically stressed from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. Add that to the fact that I always feel rushed. I rush to get both kids dressed and fed before work, and rush to make it to work on time, and rush to work as fast as I can so that taking care of the kids doesn't effect how much I get done, I rush home to make dinner, I rush to relax and then I rush to bed to start the day over. I barely blog anymore because that is time I could be doing dishes or reading to a kid or coloring with Brandon or folding a load of laundry. So when the weekend comes the last thing I want to do is rush. I knew that as far as Saturday went THE ONLY thing I had planned was to go for a bike ride at some point. THAT WAS IT. I woke up early and cleaned the house and did the dishes and got all my chores done and then I kinda just relaxed and picked up my book. I got Brandon down for a nap and I figured I would put together that movie you all watched this weekend because if I have the video camera out with him awake his big head has to be in front of it. I also knew that when he woke up my parents were coming to get him right away so I wasn't in any hurry to accomplish much while he napped. I told Rob I was going to ride "soon" and got dressed. I finished uploading my video, editing it and posting it. Rob started getting all fussy that I hadn't left yet. He was like what if Brandon wakes up then I'll have both kids. I was like yeah so I have them both every day. His response was, "your used to it though." My response, "How can you get used to it if you never do it?" I told him I would hurry and I rushed out of the house to ride. I got to work and got my car and I had to take my dads deposit to the bank and drop off a payment for him. Then I got excited because I remembered telling Rob on Friday morning that I had $6.00 in my wallet that I had been holding on to and I was going to use it to buy a bagel for lunch on Sat after riding. So I begin heading toward the bagel place and then I remembered that Rob was all stressed about having both kids, so I made the decision to forgo getting my bagel and just went home. I was pretty sad. Then the candy thing happened and it was safe to say I was really sad. I was starting to shut down and just get angry inside my head. Then Rob really pushed. He asked if he could go out with his friends that night. I was mad. PISSED. I wasn't mad that he wanted to go out at all, I was mad that earlier that day he had been giving me shit about leaving him with the kids but he didn't even think twice about just taking off and leaving me with the kids. I was done for the day. I got my book and just read on the couch. Finally I talked to Rob. I told him how I felt. I told him I feel like I spend my weekdays in hyper speed being rushed here and there and everywhere and that it bothered me to feel so rushed on my weekend. I told him how he always commented on other people rushing people through their day, and that he didn't even realize he did it to me. He said that he just thought when you say you are going to do something you should just jump right up and do it. I laughed at how many times he said he was going to clean the garage and then took a nap before doing it. I told him that I liked to wake up on Saturday and just talk about my day but that didn't mean I was going to do it right that second IT WAS SATURDAY for crying out loud. I told him that I hated feeling like I had to always take one kid and that when I didn't take at least one, I had to hurry and rush rush rush back because it was hard for him to have both kids. Even though I probably have a full weeks worth of milk pumped in the fridge. I told him that it bothered me that he would throw away the candy because I spent money on it, and I did something nice for me. Rob has a man account, he gets money to do whatever he wants with. I don't. When I get any money at all I pay bills with it. Birthday money, Christmas money, I pay bills. So when I took that couple dollars and bought myself something he just threw it away because it wasn't his. I also pointed out that had it been me I would have at least asked him before just throwing something away. I told him that I was retreating into my head and it was about to get bad. He apologized and totally got what I was saying and everything ended up okay. Would you believe after all of that he was cleaning the garage on Sunday and he just threw away a whole bag with out asking meaning I had to go dig out all of Codi's winter clothes because Rob didn't look in the bag? Anyway, Rob and I are fine now. We are fine because he totally let me unload on him and he heard what I said and he understood it. I even went later that day with my $6.00 I didn't spend on bagels and got us each an ice cream, I got him a cinnamon choco taco and me an ice cream snickers (I always pick something with peanuts the days Brandon goes to my parents and he is safely away from them.)


Me on the other hand, well I'm still having a rough week. Everything is feeling so overwhelming right now. Being a parent is kicking my ass. When I get in these places where I just go away Brandon wears on me. Mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama really starts to break a person down. I am on the verge of tears at least 5 times a morning. The next thing I know I'm yelling and then I'm feeling bad for yelling. It's an endless cycle when I'm in this place. I wake up angry I'm mean and after about 2 hours I'm feeling bad for the rest of the day for letting him wear on me. As I type this he's wearing me thin but I'm trying so hard not to let it happen. I feel lately like I'm on auto pilot. Like I'm just going through the motions because at any minute it will all blow up on me. Money stresses me out, not being a 100% mom to Brandon stresses me out, knowing I'm not giving my all in the kitchen stresses me out, and I'm feeling sad. I get into these places and getting out is so hard. I've been trying to make an effort not to encourage it. I try and be careful about the music I listen to, and what I watch. I have tried to just get caught up in a book so I'm not alone with my thoughts to long. I'm trying to eat healthier and take vitamins and cut out the crap so that hopefully that helps some. I think I'm the most worried about my son hating me because sometimes I'm just not on my game 100% . I worry now that I'm blogging too much, or reading to much, or cleaning to much and then I stop and I spend time with him and I feel like then I'm losing anything that was for me. This is such an endless cycle right now. It will be days before I'm pulled out and I'm not sure how long until I am pulled out this time. No one can do it for me, I have to just bear the dark and the light will come eventually and I'm willing to wait.


I'm glad I have this blog. I'm glad I can have a place to come and vent and get this all out rather then just hold it inside because I'm worried how those around me will respond. I'm glad I have a place where I can talk and you will all do nothing but understand. More then anything I'm glad I have a place I can come and write and just leave it here. I don't have to talk about it, I don't have to hear about it, I don't have to be judged about it. It just stays here in it's own little spot and I'm happy with that! And please do me a favor. If you ever see me, don't look at me with pity, or like I'm that weird girl. Realize that I came here and I said my piece and I'm done. I don't want to discuss it openly and verbally, I don't want to hear about it, I just want it to be done and left here. There is nothing worse then the way people can look at you, you know. Makes me feel like the outcast on Desperate Housewives sometimes. Oh, look at Shannon, she's the one who can't handle it all the time and sometimes puts her kid in time out to avoid a personal melt down. I'm not so stupid that I don't hear the talking and see the looks, I just choose to avoid them!

Parenting rule #46687

DON'T LEAVE YOUR CHILD UNATTENDED WITH WATER PAINTS!!!!!!!!!

boy the first vs Boy the second

Both boys are 2.75 months

The Boys

Untitled from wilddreemer on Vimeo.

Bye, I have more important things to do

See that...Know what that means?

It means

I don't have time for blogging, I must go ride my bike now

See you later suckers!

JUST ANOTHER DAY AT WORK

CHECK OUT MY LITTLE FLICKR WIDGET OVER THERE ---------> TO SEE ALL THE FUN THINGS WE DO AT WORK AND HOME!

Current affairs

Okay this post is getting bullets.

• Thing one. Monday we went to visit a friend in a hospital. It was a mental type hospital. I say this so that you can understand how awesome it was when Brandon pulled the fire alarm. Yeah! I was in the back visiting my friend and my mom was up front watching the kids. I'm in my friends room when all the sudden sirens go off and lights start flashing. Suddenly the nurse in charge shouts EVERYONE OUT OF THEIR ROOMS NOW! So we go in the hall where the make us all stand against the wall and they then go and lock everyones room so no one can get back in. We have no clue what is going on, it could be anything. All we know is it is a CODE RED and it could be someone trying to escape, a fire, something else we had no clue. As this is happening my mom is calling me but since phones aren't allowed back there I don't answer. She is frantically calling and calling so finally I turn around and answer and I hear, "Brandon just pulled the fire alarm." FUCK! I tell the nurse, "umm, my two year old just pulled the alarm you have to let me out." So they have to escort me out three locked doors to where I finally get out and see my son screaming FIRE MONSTER FIRE MONSTER I MAKE FIRE I MAKE FIRE! Nice huh!
• Tuesday I had to go to social security to try and get a receipt for Codi with his social security number on it so I could file my taxes. Then I find out that I can't get a receipt because they can't find him. So I go down the the health department to get his birth certificate. This is a big complex. There are about 4-5 buildings that kind of form a circle and there is a giant courtyard in the middle. So I get to the one with the health department in it and realize I have to find an ATM for cash since I used my last check and they don't take debit. I'm in building C and the ATM is down around E. So I set off walking. I get to the ATM and realize I am now right next to building A which is where you change your voter registration. I never changed my address and I figured since I was there I should. I went in and changed my address and while doing so Codi had a melt down. So I readjusted Codi and set off on my way to the health department. I got in, go the birth certificate and made it back to my car which was by building D. SHIT! I had no keys. I had set them down over in building A when Codi was fussing. So off I went back to building A for my keys. I finally made it to my car and head to social security. Okay so this was Tuesday which is the 5th. I guess that social security checks are mailed on the 3rd so you are never supposed to go down there around this time. I did not know this till after I get there. So I go in there is a full waiting room and I take a number. I'm number 158 they are currently serving number 78. I go stand outside to escape the cigarette dirty body smell. Out front I find myself surrounded by Reno's finest. I love standing outside with a bunch of people who are angry about their social security checks that they aren't getting, and the only reason they are on social security is because they are lazy. But not only that I had to listen to them talk about how awesome they are/were. Like the guy who weighed close to 300 pounds or more but was bragging about his high school football days and how he was so good Notre Dame wanted to give him a full ride but he chose not to because he is really intelligent like that. Then there was the guy who just really needed some McDonalds and then sat down their talking about how he ain't waiting in no dang line he was gonna go right in there and tell them where to shove it. Three hours later he was still out there bitching about his babies mama and how he maybe really isn't the dad but could be. Then there was the couple who looked like they should really be nominated for the Biggest Loser couples edition who were so hungry they decided to walk to McDonalds while waiting for their number. Part of me was proud of them for walking but then I thought, "But they are walking to McDonalds for burgers hmmmm." Then there were the pregnant moms smoking. The young broke couples there who just wanted their checks cuz they were broke yet they were covered in expensive tattoos and piercings and could still afford a couple packs of cigarettes. It always flabergasts me how you can be broke but afford a tattoo! Anyway halfway through I called the hospital and was informed that Social Security wouldn't be able to find Codi because the vital statistics office was 3 months behind in sending them the info. In fact they had just mailed them the October births. OOOOH Okay thanks for letting me know that assholes. When my number is finally called they inform me that if I process this now it will delay the whole thing another 10 weeks since the two will cross in the mail. In the end they said wait two weeks then start calling social security every day to see if Codi has been input then I can go get my receipt with his number. So to recap I spent 4 hours with the worlds most awesome rejects to accomplish nothing, while starving and watching a bunch of broke people eat expensive fast food!
• Babba apparantly got spammed also. Here is her questions.. What is more important to you. The relationship you have with Rob or your kids??? This is hard. I think they both have priorities in different aspects. But to be honest I think since my kids are so young, the answer would be them. Later on in life, when they are older and all they want to do is rebel, well thats when Rob and I can be each others priority. But now, in the moment, raising two functioning kids is the clear winner. Most husbands often go through a period where they feel neglected or forgotten. Its in most parenting books, and most parenting classes say the same. It is impossible for a new mom to give the same attention to their husbands. My husband will be the first to say that yes he felt neglected when both boys were born, but it gets better. It does! What takes priority and comes first in your life??? Umm I think this is sort of the same question so I will reiterate my first answer. For me, raising two kids who are smart, and social, and have great lives is more important then having sex every night and going to bars with my husband or going to clubs. Rob and I still have sex, and we still go out for dinners but right now the majority of my life is spent for my kids. Rob and I will have time in our golden years for each other. So right now its about stealing kisses when we can and cuddles at night and holding hands on the couch. You figure it all out eventually, but putting my kids first was a decision I made the second my first was born!
• For Lent Rob decided that he would allow me to make him a vegetable every day for 40 days. This is huge because Robs only veggies are, potatoes, corn and iceberg lettuce. I have worked asparagus into his life but that is it. This is huge for me. I love cooking stuff and took sheer pleasure out of watching him eat roasted chicken with spinach last night. For Lent I gave up all drinks that weren't clear plain water, Hot green tea and coffee. I am miserable. I need flavored water. I need iced tea. I need carbonation. This is like kicking a crack habit for me. So as I took total joy in watching Rob force down his spinach he was getting as much joy watching me choke down my plain water!
  

1000 and a half

K so! My email hates me. It keeps spamming things. So! If you have emailed me and I don't reply within an hour (yeah I'm fast like that) send me a comment and I will be all over that.

I just found this in my Spam box.
Emery asked:
1. What is your biggest triumph? Wow! I don't know if I have had that yet. I think ask me in 30 years. That way I can see how my kids turn out. Because I truly believe that if I can raise well adjusted kids who live happy and healthy lives then that will be my biggest triumph. I feel like my whole life mission is simply to be a mom so if I complete that mission then I will have triumphed!
2. What is your biggest regret? Regret. To be honest I'm not sure there is much I regret. While there are things I wish I hadn't done I am one of those super dorky people who truly believe that everything begats everything. Meaning if I hadn't lost my virginity to that guy then some how in the long run I never would have married Rob which means I wouldn't have my two amazing children. Yes there are things I wish I hadn't done, (hello orange hair in 8th grade I'm talking to you) but what if I really went back and never did them, would I be sitting here in this moment now? What is that movie, the "Butterfly Effect"? I totally believe in that.

P.S. Emery, I was actually really sad I hadn't gotten a question from you and then when I saw yours in my spam folder I was soooooo happy!

1000

Okay first, no new look. That is still being worked on. But it will rock when it's done. However you still get my 1000th post! Here you go! I loved answering all of your questions. I hope you enjoy reading them!

1. Someone Being Me asked: Is there anything that is off limits on your blog? A topic that you will not discuss? You seem so open about everything I was just curious if you draw the line at some things. I think the only thing that is actually off limits is things directly mentioning families name. In fact there is an entire category of family I just won't talk about. Simply because I never know who reads, and in case they do read, well, it keeps me out of trouble that way. I also don't talk much about sex since my parents sometimes read this and I have a hard time writing it knowing my mom or dad could possibly be reading later about that thing we did in bed last night.
2. Mathers asked: If you had to pick one what would it be: no more chocolate, or no more myspace? Now now now Cristina my dear. I actually don't do much on Myspace. I go on there once a day to see if anyone is writing me. Then I'm basically done with it. There are a few people who refuse to get normal email so I have to contact them that way. Now if you had said give up chocolate or blogging..that would be a tuffy because blogging is such an amazing outlet for my stressers but chocolate is such a great remedy for those same stressers!
3. Blogversary asked: What is your dream job? You know, for a while I always thought I would answer being a chef. But I always watch those chefy TV shows and realize there is so much I don't know. While I would love to be Paula Dean I know I don't have the knowledge. So. I think the best way to answer this is to say, at this point in my life, my dream job would be to be a culinary student and later in life be a chef. HOWEVER! I would only want to go to a real culinary school somewhere like France you know, and since I have kids that isn't an option. And if you ask me if I would have waited to have my kids till after school the answer is NO! That's because I'm smart enough to know, had I gotten to the point where I completed school and was well known, chances are I would have not had children, similar to Rachael Ray. So I would rather be a wanna be chef and mom, then a well known chef and not a mom. Umm did any of this make sense?
4. Jen asked: Do you have a favorite child? Ahhh Jen, you are pure evil. I see you rubbing your hands together with an evil look on your face right now as you ask this! The answer is easy. Brandon is my favorite toddler and Codi is my favorite baby! Ha ha that's an answer right? To be honest right now I love them both the same. I don't think I can really compare the two because I know Brandon in such detail and I'm only still getting to know Codi. Sometimes I have to remember that Codi is so much younger and he is a different baby. I've actually tried to forget when Brandon hit all of his milestones, because he was really advanced. I don't want to spend Codi's whole life comparing him to Brandon so I really try and just look at them both separately. However, you can love the second as much as the first and I love them both so much it makes my whole body hurt!
5. Hips.Lips.Mama asked: Do you fake orgasms with your husband? how often? Now just to prove to ya'll that I am human, I am totally blushing right now! The answer is NO! I don't. Not with my husband, but yes I have before. But lets be real here, if we were having that kind of problems in bed before we got married, I clearly wouldn't have married him now would I?
6. Heather asked: What do you think you were most notorious for in high school..one moment everyone will remember? Now since Heather went to school with me I actually think this a totally loaded question because there is no way you could go to school with me and not answer this!!! But for those of you who didn't go to school with me there is only one obvious answer. I was the girl that everyone thought had sex on the "G". Okay now to elaborate for those of you who don't get that. Here in Nevada we do this hicktastick little thing of painting GIANT letters of mountains for the part of town we are in (this sounds so corny if you don't live here) for example, if you drive by Reno there will be a huge huge "R" on one of the mountains. I believe we have a P for Peavine and D for Damonte and of course a G for Galena, as in Galena High School. Anyway one day before cheer leading practice a friend of mine who I will allow to remain nameless and I walked back to the teachers parking lot to hang out. He wanted to smoke before football and I had a crush on him so I was just tagging along. Well hanging out let do making out and totally fooling around right behind the teachers parking lot.  Even if we had had the time, or the desire, we couldn't have done more if we wanted. Anyway I went to cheer practice and a friend asked where I was. I had said that I was making out with the guy and as a joke said yeah we were totally fucking on the G. The head cheerleader of the Varsity team (I was a freshman at this time) heard this, and told the coach. The coach then told the principal who told my mom whose first question to me was, "did you come?" Now, a few points of interest. My senior year in PE I got a chance to walk to the "G". It took a full hour to walk there and in fact, for those who didn't run half of it, you couldn't even make it in the hour. The track team claims to have pictures of the event taking place. Interesting since, A: the track team didn't run there and B: Track practice wouldn't have been started yet as it was only 15 minutes after school got out and C: What kind of athlete carries a camera while running up a mountain? Anyway some of you might ask why I didn't just deny it since it wasn't true. Well there is an easy answer to this. I talked to the guy before I was called into the principals office. He thought the whole thing was so funny that ridiculous that no one would actually believe it. We decided to never confirm or deny what happened. When I was called into the principals office they never, not one single time asked me if it happened. Instead they took the word of the head cheer leader and just went with it. It is because of this one moment in school that I lost all faith in the school system, because a good coach or principal would have asked me What, if anything happened don't you think? Anyway while the whole thing never happened, and we were only actually gone for 15 minutes, He and I both go down in history as the couple who had sex on the "G". To this day people still ask me and him about it. He and I often run into each other in public and when we do people always look at as and you can tell they are just dying to ask. My favorite part is that people from other schools heard that "someone" did that and I love when they ask me, if I knew the girl who had sex on the "G"! I thin I'm going to email him right now and have a laugh with him about all of this.
7. Amnesia asked: What is the hardest time you have had in your marriage? What got you there? What was your darkest hour? And what got you out of it? Wow! This is a great question. While my marriage isn't perfect, because none are, I don't honestly know if we have had anything that fills this category yet. It's only been 3 years and I think the itch comes around 7 right? There are plenty of things we do to get on each others nerves, and damn we push each other buttons but I'm not real sure there have been those awful times. Wait, I take that back. There was one time during both pregnancies where I got really evil and demonic and tried to throw him out, for reasons like, he didn't come to bed at the right time. You know, very important stuff. I think mainly our biggest problems now are, me wondering how on earth he gets toothpaste splatters on the mirror so damn soon after I clean it, and him wondering how on earth I get so many crumbs on the floor!
8. Heidi asked: What do you do when you want to wear flip flops? Do you not wear pants that day? This was her question asked in response to me having to put my socks on before my pants. The answer is NO DORK I don't put my flip flops on before my pants. However, I looove flip flops and I loathe shoes which is why this snow is agitating the fuck out of me. When I do wear shoes I prefer Vans with no laces!
9. Laura asked: Tell us your worst OMG Aunt Flo is here and I'm unprepared moment. You know you have one. I soooo have one! It was my first one. I think I was about 12ish. My mom and my cousin and I drove down to Sacramento for the weekend. We stayed at the Holiday Inn on Date Ave (I still stay there). Anyway we were in the hotel room and I was wearing this swirly pastel spandex (yes spandex) pants. My mom suddenly looks down at me and is like OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT! I looked down and my pastel pants were RED!!!!! All the sudden everyone starts jumping around the room shouting OH MY GOSH YOU GOT YOUR PERIOD. So I flip out and now that I see the blood I feel cramps. I jump out of the pants and undies and my mom throws them in the toilet (????) Then since we were totally unprepared she tells me to sit on the toilet. So I'm sitting on the toilet and my mom calls room service and somehow convinces one of the employees to go to the gift shop and buy me a bag of pads. I spent the rest of the trip in pain and the whole car ride laying in the back whining. Sooo embarrassing that I didn't even know it had happened I just sat there bleeding on myself!
10. Jessa asked: What book could you read again and again without getting sick of it? To be totally honest I have yet to find THE BOOK! When I was younger I would have said this book. In fact I still love this book and have read it bajillions of times. For now, I would say old issues of Everyday with Rachael Ray would be my favorites to reread. I'm such a nerd!
11. imoveforward asked: How long have you been writing? Do you write other things besides your blog? Hmmm. I've been writing forever. Since I can remember. I started out just writing in journals. Writing a lot of poetry and seriously ya'll if I can locate some of those books I'm shameless enough that I will totally post some of my trash for you. When I moved out I started a computer journal and then about 2.5 years ago I started blogging on Yahoo 360. I stumbled upon Emerys blog on Blogger and loved it so much I moved. I also blog here and here! I also have a blog that I write to each of my sons (which I really need to update). Those links are on my current blog called Letters to (insert childs name here). And finally I have a private blog about Rob and I's love story. It is private because it talks a lot about sex and boys and what not and I got all nervous that my parents would read it and my dad would be like SHE WAS DOING WHAT WITH WHO!
12. Shawna asked ( a lot):
    
    -Do you remember when you realized you were different? There has never been a time I didn't know I was crazy!
    -Different/Crazy in what way? I always just knew that I got sad and withdrawn more, and that not everyone was as open as me.
    -Have you ever diagnosed yourself? YES! I have mild OCD, and I'm bi-polar. I've been A LOT of other things over the years, seriously taking a bunch of psych classes in college totally fucks with your head.
    -Have you ever been professionally diagnosed? Yes with bi-polar disorder.
    -Have you ever seeked professional help? Yeah twice. The first time when I was younger and the second time when I first started dating Rob. Neither time helped. It didn't help because being bi-polar, I come out of my hole. That means seeing a counselor was useless during those times of good, and during the times of bad, I wouldn't go because I didn't want help, I wanted to be destructive. Also they all felt condescending and judgmental and rude and like they were bored and only there for the money.
    -I know you currently don’t but have you ever taken prescription meds? Did they help? Not help? (I totally understand not wanting to take meds) Yeah the only one I agreed to try was Sarafem which is for PMDD. They said if I took it, it would help with the bi-polar disorder. I thought it was retarded and took a few classes in college and learned that I was in control of my own destiny.
    -How do your loved ones handle your “craziness”? (i.e. Rob , mom, dad (step dad), friends) Ummm, first my "dad" (sperm doner) is who gave me this shit but he wasn't around long enough to know. The rest of my family didn't really know because I hid it. I didn't want to be the weird one or the bad one or whatever. Now, they kinda just let me be who I be!
    -Do you know the people/person that gave you the date rape drug? The time that you are talking about he was the son of the head of a church camp I went to. Another time my cousin and I got dosed by some football players but by the grace of God got out of there and I only ended up running over her mail box (twice) before passing out in my car on the side of McCarran!
    -Do you feel in control of your “craziness”? Until I go crazy!
    -Do you realize when you are being crazy at the time you are being it? Or is it in retrospect? Or after someone has brought it to your attention? I totally realize it. I realize it mostly because I almost encourage it. Like I get sad and go away in my head and then I will do stupid shit like pull out pictures and letters from my dead grandma to see just how sad I can get. Or like the time I wisely went to the Coronor and got a copy of my dads death certificate?????? Yes I am very very aware of when I am there, it is because of that I am also able to hide it so well.
    -Do you think you are crazy by circumstance or genetics? (like a chemical imbalance) I remember reading about your dad and grandma and realize at an early age you lost some very important people in your life, after reading what you wrote yesterday I realize you have other devastating circumstances that occurred in your life, do you think these things attributed to the crazies, or caused it? I think it is both. It is safe to say a good portion of my dads side of the family is batshit crazy and a pretty good portion of my moms side also has some interesting quirks. However, I think my dad being a selfish prick and killing himself really opened the flood gates of crazy especially because not many 12 year olds know how to comprehend suicide and it took a lot of crazy to realize how I really felt about that. But to be totally honest I think I've always been crazy and I think I'll always be crazy!!
13. Mrs. F and Angie both want to know: When you say you disappear into a dark place...what does that feel like? Is it like a place you remember going (not a real place but you know) or is it just like a black out kind of? Sigh. I really don't know how to describe this. You know that commercial with the guy walking around with a rain cloud over his head that follows him? It's kind of like that. It's like suddenly everywhere I or step or look feels miserable. I hate how I look (this is when I pick my face the most), I hate how I feel and since I often go there for no reason I start looking for reasons. I'm still here, I don't envision dark scary places or anything, it just feels as though there is a shadow over my day and sometimes the shadow closes in on me and sort of swaddles me in its darkness until I feel like I can barely breath anymore and I just want to sit in a corner and cry. My husband has found me there before, sitting in a corner by my bed crying for no reason. However I found a reason. See, I was going there, I was headed to the rain cloud and I needed a reason (I like to have reasons it makes me feel less crazy) so I picked a fight with him. The fight made me snap and the next thing I knew I was just crying. This leads to me suddenly crying about being fat, ugly, poor, stupid, a bad mom, missing my grandma and on and on and on and on. I think I find every reason possible to cry until I've used it all up and then I just sit there numb. I kind of turn on auto pilot. I drive myself to work, I work and I come home. But the whole time it feels like I need an inhaler because the pressure of the world crushes my whole entire body. There are songs that send me there instantly and places and faces and books and things I've written. I used to spend hours and hours and hours in my bedroom with my Christmas lights on and a Tupac song on repeat just writing poem after poem after poem trying to work my way out of my hole. The only thing is that I self destruct as I do it. I pick music that makes it impossible to be happy. I write things that make light seem so far off. I dredge up old memories making it easier to slip into my hole and make it feel like maybe I really do belong there.
14. Shawna also asked:
    
    What is your favorite post you have ever written out of the 1,000? I don't have favorites. I like them all. Although the recent post about eating shit in the snow was a good one!
    Which post has received the most comments? 31 comments the day Codi was born. You all suck at commenting I happen to know I have over 100 people visit here each day and I get a lousy 31 comments. SHAME ON YOU!
    Is there a post you wish you would have never written? No, I don't think so, because if I hadn't have written em all I would have probably exploded with diarrhea of the mouth onto my friends and then they would egg my car!
15. Saly wants to know: How I got so into cooking? NO CLUE! It is in my blood I think. Also, I like to eat food taste good, it makes me happy and I think I have an urge to make those I love happy (like my husband) so I really enjoy cooking knowing what I make will make you smile. I truly believe that if you cook food with love in your heart, and you put passion into it, it will taste amazing. The nights I'm tired and in a hurry and I don't stop to love my food, those are the nights I warn Rob ahead that it's totally okay if he wants to dump the meal and go to KFC!

She also wanted to know: Your posts suggest that you have zero boundaries. I want to know if you are the same in your every day life, and if so, how did you get to be the way that you are (which clearly, is awesome).

I decided rather then answer this on my own I would ask the three friends who have known me the longest and know me the best. Because after all, I could answer this and totally lie since it's my own blog, you would never know right. So instead I wanted to make sure you got the truth from those who know my truth! Here are their answers!

Lisa said: Yup basically the exact same! Only difference is you have to imagine the stuff you blog about is only a couple minutes out of your day. So the bluntness, and dorkiness is EXTREMELY magnified when you have 24/7 Shannon. You have ALWAYS had no problem telling a complete stranger all of your business down to every detail. So you having a blog just makes sense. It kind of also gives us a break from the stupid, I mean unusual, thoughts that happen to run thru your head. Instead of getting a phone call every time your sons poop changes colors, now I only get half the calls and get to read about the other half online.

Katie said: Mmmm, lets see is Shannon the same in real-life? I would have to say yes – definitely! Shannon has always been pretty open with her life and she is a talker, so her blog gives her the opportunity to meet and talk to a whole other community of friends.
Ginger said:

Ha, I love that someone would even ask that. I mean really, would you share with complete strangers that you hate it when your so cold that your pee burns you if you wouldn't share that with your dearest friends. If you could even consider that i would be sincerely hurt. Ok, I am going to type the rest of this like I am talking about you behind your back to your blog readers...

Shannon and Rob are exactly like that she describes, totally in love but get in 'fights' about the stupidest stuff...not that I would really consider half of their 'fights' really fights...and it still baffles me when they send each other text messages from across the living room (probably talking about their guests so they can talk about them behind their backs, right in front of their faces!).

And really, I'm not kidding about Shannon calling you up or sending you a text message to tell her that she is so cold her pee just burned her...that is if she isn't calling you for help to lift her off the floor and drag her to the bathroom because she is laughing so hard at something she migth pee her pants if she tried to stand up on her own...but that only happened once. Or twice. Or, well, maybe a few more times.

Her adversion to hugs and touchy touchyness is completely true. A while back, when she was pregnant with Codi, me and (I think) her cousin were going out (maybe for Rob's b-day) and she had him take a picture off all of us with our hands on her belly. I was so uncomfortable that i think I may have levitated my hand over her belly without really touching it because that's just not how Shannon is, she is so not a "let's hug and here, rub my pregnant belly" kind of person. But she makes up for her lack of touchy touchyness by doing silly things like buying you an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins that consists of exactly 1 scoop of ice cream and about 10 lbs of icing all because you mention on your blog that you want an ice cream cake, but that you only want to eat the frosting off of it.

And her passionate obsession with good food really is something to marvel at. I've known Shannon for a long time. As she started talking about recently, she had some issues with food in the past. And let's not even go into her mom's severe adversion to using salt on ANYTHING (so weird, I just don't get it, I mean I don't by any means over use salt but salt really does make food taste better). Shannon and i went through a period of a few years were we didn't really see each other (I tried to break up with her) and when we finally got back together she suddenly was this foodie. This Wusthof obsessed foodie. I absolutely love this about her now because I am a total foodie as well (or want-to-be-foodie anyways). And, while I've never seen her have an orgasm (thank god, that would be akward), the only way to describe her reaction to a great dessert or, well, a good bowl of ice cream, is like a mini-food orgasm (or foodgasm). On that note, she really does say words in real life like dudealicious and her use of the word uber is really spectacular (if you could call it that).

And she really does have her dark side, and her messy past, but you guys probably all know that from reading her blog.

And finally, yes, her kids REALLY are as cute as they seem and she really is as great of a mom as she seems. And her obsession with finding the perfect diaper bag really was a little over the top. And she really does elict slave labor from her friends to paint her newborns room. And she really does brag about anything she possibly can because, as she states it "It hurts being this awesome."

Ok, so that was so much longer than I thought it would be but if you are posting it on your blog it's got to be good, right?

I decided to ask my husband too and here is what he said:
i think that shannon is the same as in her blog as in
her life to a point. she does cuss the same
amount...lol. shes fun and crazy, but she is also much
more reserve. i think that when she writes, shes the
crazy shannon that she will always be. but because
shes a mother of 2 she cant be. she has her moments tho..lol