All set and ready to go, cept for one small thing

Didja know I'm having a baby soon? Well I am. I've been nesting like crazy and since I ran out of baby things to play with today I took to cleaning out my pantry and laundry room. I almost took pictures of it but then I thought...hmmm is that weird? So I'm all packed and ready for the hospital well, accept for one thing which we will get to soon. So far I've got about 43 outfits for Codi. 2- gowns, 2 sleepers, 2- outfits, and a going home outfit. I also think I might seriously have packed 3 separate blankets but in my defense one is totally a going home blanket just for looks and pictures and what not. I've got about 5 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of mittens and probably 2 hats. I know it seems obscene but keep in mind I am having a C-section and could be there for 4 days max. That means the possibility of 4 days of poop, and belly button goo, and just all around baby goo that will get on all of his clothes. Last time they kept him in the same thing for two days and late that second night I noticed how dirty his little outfit was and nearly melted down, but I didn't have anything small enough to fit him. This time I've got extra plenty small clothes. Aside from that I have the boppy, and my Mylanta pills, because seriously you don't want to fart after having a c-section. I've got shampoo and conditioner, breast pads and a nursing bra, and for the love of everything good I've got lotion. I've got scrubby pads and a toothbrush and toothpaste and what not. I don't have underwear because they give you the most awesome mesh super stretch undies ever in the hospital. The only thing I don't have yet is a goddamn outfit to wear while I'm there. Last time I bought a spaghetti strap cotton night gown thing, which was perfect. Perfect for August that is. However this kid will be coming in November and lets face it my hospital is always freezing. Soooo what do I pack. Part of me wants to go to Walmart and get some cheap pajama pants and spaghetti strap tops (for nursing) but part of me is thinking, wait I'm going to be bleeding A LOT and if I have pants on won't I bleed all over those. (Maybe that would have been a good spot for a TMI warning....oops I'm always late with those). However, if I wear the same nighty thinger then I risk having my legs be FREEZING and we all know how stingy hospitals are with blankets and don't even get me started on the fact that I can't keep socks and slippers on my feet if I tried. What this is leading me to believe is that I will inevitably end up at Walmart purchasing at least 5 different ensembles so I have just the right thing. Which then leaves me with the problem of what if I get there and one outfit is perfect and I'm in the hospital for 4 days. Well that will get kind of yucky. So then should I possibly buy 2 of each outfit and pack 10 outfits to the hospital? Oh for the love of gosh can you see why I don't have a damn outfit packed! Oh crap now its almost 7pm and I'm just dying to go to Walmart.

In other news Codi's room and all of his stuff is all ready and waiting for him. The only thing in my way are these three bags of Brandons clothes. You see I went through all his stuff and got all his old clothes washed and put away and then somehow my mom found 3 more fucking bags and dammit I just don't know where to put them all. His drawers are full to the max and all organized. I don't believe in hanging stuff besides robes and snow suits and jackets so everything is in drawers. Why don't I hang stuff. It's quite simple. If its hanging up then I won't see it and thus it will never get worn. I learned that with Brandon. Soo we have one drawer for onsies. They are sorted first by sleeve length and then by color. There are whites, and blues, and colors. There are browns, and oranges and so on. Solids, prints and patterns. Please don't try and tell me there isn't a difference between navy blue and light blue because I will win that argument. Then there are little pants also sorted by color. There are outfits all folded together. That means pants with matching onsie and jacket or bib or hat are folded in a pile in the drawer because for the love of gosh my child must wear the bib that goes with the pants or the earth might just freeze over. Then there is the drawer with all the sleepers and gowns. This is my favorite drawer because who are we kidding footie pajamas are just about the worlds cutest things ever. There is the sock basket, the washcloth basket with wash cloths all rolled and sorted by color (so I have a problem, so what your fat and your shoes are ugly so shut up) and towels all folded in the towel basket. I have blankets (sorted by thickness and weight and size) here and sheets there and ointments and potions there. Teeny diapers are all stacked and wipes are full and ready. Extra diaper genie refills are ready to go. I've got the bibs all laid out in another drawer sorted by size. Only thing missing is the dang baby!

There really wasn't much purpose to this post, except to maybe remind me to go put jammies on my grocery list. Also for me to feel proud that I finally cleaned my gosh darn pantry out (I do this every three months but this time we cleaned the tippy top of it and now its like there is so much room I feel like I have to shop just to fill it up.

If this doesn't kick Kats ovaries into high gear I don't know what will

Yesterday my son came up to me, for no reason at all, gave me a hug and whispered,

"I so happy mommy"!

He has said it about five more times since then. Almost all while just sitting with me and he always whispers it, in the sweetest voice I've ever heard. I have trouble breathing each time!

So you see Kat, it isn't all bad!

Couple more candids

Ging and I on arrival I almost don't look pregnant BWAHAHAHAAH

No wait I'm definitely pregnant.

Throwing back my first chocolate milk of the night.

Grams and I on our way to go get junk food.

She used to be a cheerleader...now look at her

37 week belly shot. Getting ready to go to the chocolate festival

My first go around, actually, this was all from ONE booth!!! mmmmmmmmmm

This was from a later adventure. That little drink was chocolate with orange mousse and then some yummy stuff at the bottom with blue berries. Under that little chocolate mountain thing was some coffee mousse. the little cookie with the white stripes was amazing. It was chocolate with some kind of goop in it. Mmmmmmm I ate this fast!

The really colorful one in the back was some sort of passion fruit. The red one next to it was like a strawberry shortcake petite four. The square tan thing in front was a peach cream cake thing inside of a peach white chocolate cup. Whoah it was good.

Yes even the ice cream shop was there. They had cheese cake ice cream, with cowboy shaped boots and chocolate sauce. My grams was sooooe excited about this she had two of them!

A small idea at how big this place was...every wall was lined with chocoalte!

Ginger getting drunk. Her drink of choice was some sort of chocolate martini that was made with vodka and starbucks liquor and maybe some chocolate liquor. Either way it knocked my moms socks off. There were two booths offering these fancy martinis..I forgot to get pictures because you know, I had to eat chocolate.

Between every booth of chocolate was a boot offering wine and champagne. There was also about 5 booths offering beer and 2 offering specialty martinis. ALL THE LIQUOR WAS FREE, IT WAS ALL YOU CAN DRINK!

See more alcohol.

The ones on the left were some kind of pine nut pie thingy that Ginger said tasted like pecan pie. I've never had pecan pie so I didn't know if she was right but it was good. Behind it was a chocolate spoon with cream topped with a roasted hazelnut. That thing was super good mmmm! Then over to the right was some sort of chocolate donut cream puff doohicky!

All of the decorations were chocolate, like that little chocolate horse and carriage.

This thing was some kind of mousse I forget, inside of a truffle with sage on top.

This was the culinary schools contribution. It was a chocolate cup filled with a mousse that I still can't place, with a little cookie horse shoe and chocolate and a fresh berry.

More chocolate decorations...its Reno, what do you expect besides gambling?

Claim Jumper stopped by and every single person got one of their 7 layer sinful cake thingies. Oh good lord people that was a lot of cake.

In homage to Amalah...damn my feet were swelling out of my shoes. My shoes that were already a half size to big and not coming off my foot.

Oh wait, look they had drinks for the knocked up and underage variety. I had a chocolate milk and a regular milk. They also served soft serve ice cream in cones.

More chocolate. The thing on the back right was pumpkin pie fudge. There was a green thing on there that was pistachio fudge. Notice the teeny butt cheeks there in the very front. They were from the local naughty chocolate shop. Whats that you say, your town doesn't have a naughty chocolate shop? Well, then you live in the wrong town.

It really is possibly to look and feel 17 months pregnant.

Hi Codi. Yeah he was on a serious sugar high.

Mom grandma and I. It was at this time that my grandma looked at the 15 year old boy next to us, pointed at me and said Shannon went to Galena High. She used to be a cheerleader...Now look at her.

Ginger and I at the end of the night showing off our highly sophisticated drinks. I think Ginger either had champagne or chocolate martini in her glass. I had milk. These pictures don't do justice to the copious amounts of chocolate that was there. I didn't take pictures at every booth, because you know I had to eat. There were some booths that had chocolate caramel popcorn. One booth had a giant pot of rum caramel sauce that I wasn't even sure what you do it, did you drizzle it on all your other chocolate treats or just pour it in a bowl and drink it? Really I had no clue. There was a lot of candy I didn't get because I don't like liquor in my candy..no wait, I don't like rum or tequila in my candy so I passed on all 30 of the tequila or rum chocolate things. There was also about 20 more hazelnut things I didn't show. There was sushi and steak I didn't eat because I don't eat either of those things. There was this one thing that I call Chinese candy which was chocolate and butterscotch with Chinese crispy noodles inside. Oh dear lord i could have eaten those ALL NIGHT LONG. When we first walked in we were greeted with a chocolate martini bar that was also serving interesting bon bons and drinks. They had chili spiced chocolates and stuff like that. My favorite at that booth was a little shot glass with some kind of strawberry puree topped with a white cream and black pepper sauce. Whoah it blew my mind! There were 2 breweries and then I think three other beer companies there. I know for sure I saw Fat Tire. My husband is currently not on speaking terms with me since he found out I went to a place that had all the beer and champagne you could drink for free. The sushi and steak was offered by The Mens Club which is our local high end strip club. There were these brownie sandwiches that had brownie on each side, fillllled with caramel and macadamia nuts and then dunked in chocolate, they were shaped like little pieces of pie. I had one thing that was coconut with almond on top of a cookie thing dunked in chocolate and covered in almond. It was kind of like an Almond Joy. That booth also offered a home made butterfinger thingy. Next year I will do better at taking pictures of every single item there just to taunt ya'll!

Okay time for me to go, I have more chocolate to eat.

Side note. I spelled chocolate wrong every single time I typed it in this post, including in this sentence. Good thing for spell check. Codi didn't wind down until about an hour after I did. I think he is now in a chocolate coma!

Oh and Amalahs hang over ain't got shit on my sugar hang over. Owwwww.

More things they don't tell you when you have kids

BABIES SPIT UP...IT'S GROSS!!!!

They don't ever tell you, you can give birth to big foot

When your baby comes out it is usually given to you all wrapped in a blanket. This means you really can't see much of them until you unwrap them. Soooo. A looong time passes and I decide I'm going to unwrap Brandon. Imagine my surprise when I find hair. HAIR HAIR EVERYWHERE. I was sooooo stunned because his neck back and arms were nearly black from hair. It cracked me up. If you blow up the picture below and look at his little neck and arms you can see the hair that was left after about 2 weeks. It falls off on its own but it sure is some funny shit when you are a new mom admiring your child for the first time and you are met with HAIR HAIR EVERYWHERE!

Know what else they don't tell you. When you have a boy, their ummm stuff (testicles) are swollen and huge. Which is no big deal or anything, but it is really weird when all of your family keeps shouting out

DUDE YOUR SONS BALLS ARE HUGE!!!!!

Yeah, I heard that for a good two weeks after he was born, since it isn't common knowledge that all little boys come out a little swollen and big. Instead people in my family just thought I created some sort of super human baby with giant balls. Seriously, you can hear people shouting it on all the different video tape of his first day on earth.

YOUR SONS BALLS ARE HUGE!!!!!!

So now those of you having a boy have been warned, you may here this over and over and over that first week!

cough cough

Have you ever noticed that when someone tells you they are sick they always follow it up with a cough?

This cracks me up. There is someone in my office who is sick right now. She talks totally normal all day then picks up the phone, says shes sick, changes into sick voice and takes a deep breath forcing a big cough.

Do you do this? Is this like you have to sneeze with your eyes closed? You can't say you are sick with out a cough?

In which Ginger wins award for best present ever in the history of ever!

Last year Ginger casually mentioned this thing she was thinking of doing for my birthday. I almost married her right then and there. This year Ginger casually questioned if I would be up for this present again this year as I would be 14 days away from having a baby I BEGAN FLYING THROUGH THE AIR DOING CARTWHEELS WITH EXCITEMENT!

Why you ask?


Well you see two years in a row now Ginger has gotten her and I tickets to FANTASIES IN CHOCOLATE!

Whats that you say, you don't know what Fantasies in Chocolate is?

Well just imagine this, a night of the best possible sex you could ever have, only it isn't sex it is chocolate

UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!

Heres the deal. Every year they rent out one of our convention centers here and ALL of the casinos, schools, pastry shops, and chocolatiers get together and give out chocolate. Even the local dairy gets in on it handing out chocolate milk and chocolate ice cream. This isn't just one sample here or there either. It is unlimited endless supplies of chocolate, pastries and candies. UNLIMITED PEOPLE! Then if that isn't enough they supply wine, champagne, and other tasty mixed drinks. They also have a pasta bar, a cheese and cracker stand, sushi and so on, so you don't get all chocolated out! To give you an idea of what I mean by chocolate, picture all those fancy things they serve on the food network chocolate competitions and that is what I will be spending my entire Friday night eating! Last year we even figured out we can put a bag in our purse and take home more candy for our family! So basically I will be spending my night with the likes of this...

Now can any of you tell me of a better birthday present ever!!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention being able to enjoy this while 8 months pregnant. Codi is going to have the best night ever!!!!!!!

Went to the doctor

Yesterday was my weekly check up. I'll save the scary part for the end. First did I already brag that I didn't have to have the strep test because I'm having a C-section? Ha ha in your face suckers! Anyway no change. I denied to be examined because so far this kid is still so far up in my ribs and no where near dropping down, I really saw no reason to have some fingers all up in me just to hear SHANNON YOUR BABY WILL NEVER DROP AND YOU WILL NEVER EVER EVER DILATE EVER!

*Little side note, my mom is furious FURIOUS about this since she labored with me for almost 30 hours before being knocked out and given a C-section. She really gets bent that I will have two kids and never experience a moment of labor. This is why each time I come back from the doctors she whines that I still haven't dilated and this is bullshit and how come she got the shit end of the stick and I'm just skipping along through this birthing thing.

Anywho he measured me and squished my belly some. Then he laughed at me when I asked if my colostrum would be ready for Codi if he was nine days early. He gently reminded me that the colostrum comes when the baby comes. Then I freaked out about Codi being big enough if he was 9 days early. He laughed and said well let me put it this way, if you went into labor today I wouldn't stop you, so I think nine days is fine.

We discussed my new car for a bit and how I can't park for shit, which means I hunt out the straight on parking spaces. Then he said okay I'll see you in a week and then we will have a birthday.

COME AGAIN!

What now?

Did he just say I only have one more appointment until I have a baby? Oh gosh someone bring me a paper bag, I think I'm going to do that hyperventilating thing!!!!!!!!!!!

So I go to the desk and she say, "Your next appointment really isn't even an appointment, its a pre-op so technically this was your last appointment!"

Quick someone get me a chair and a pint of Ben and Jerry's I think I'm going to pass out!

Do you mean to tell me I just had my last appointment and I didn't even have to shave for it?

So this means 15 days until I have a baby. This means that tomorrow I go out with Ginger for my last hurrah (I will discuss this later, she gets me the worlds best birthday present ever on the planet every yeah) and then it will be exactly two weeks until I have a baby.

This means that next Friday is my last Friday as a mom of one kid. It means that I only have 15 more days of no sleep from a pregnant belly and then 15 months of no sleep from a kid.

HOLY SHIT PEOPLE WE ARE IN CRISIS MODE NOW!!!!!!! I MUST FIND SOMETHING TO CLEAN AND FAST! I'll get on that as soon as I finish that Ben and Jerry's!

Trick or treat...most parents deserve to get their cars egged!

Brandon was either a monster, a dragon or a dinosaur, we really still aren't sure!
Walking up to trick or treat GG (great grandma) This also counts as your belly shot for the week. I told everyone I dressed as a pumpkin!

Going to ring the doorbell

Running around like a mad man

He quickly learned that saying trit or treat got him candy.

Thank you GG

This is the famous bunny golf cart. Some of you received an email talking about this. Yes my mom is a burner (aka someone who goes to burning man) and she converted her golf cart into a permanent bunny rabbit. Wait it gets better.

He lights up! My dad drove Brandon and I all over the neighborhood to trick or treat. People were soooo jealous they didn't have a giant bunny on wheels to trick or treat in!

Checking out all his loot.

Not much left after we pulled out everything with peanut products.

THAT IS THE REASON PARENTS SHOULD HAVE THEIR FUCKING HOUSES EGGED! You would think will all of the news going around about NO PEANUT PRODUCTS IN SCHOOL people would be smart enough not to hand out baskets full of nothing but peanut products. I had to take away at least 20 things out of his basket because it would have killed him if he ate it. Do you know how sad it was sitting there taking away my sons candy. I just can't believe that more emphasis hasn't been placed on NOT PUTTING DEADLY CANDY IN KIDS BASKETS!!!!!!! I swear each time someone dropped a Reeses or a Snickers in his basket I wanted to egg them right in the face! And he was to little to know any better so when he reached in to grab he didn't know he shouldn't grab a Baby Ruth, he just picked something! Soooo frustrating, because I can't even eat the stuff I had to take from him since I refuse to possibly be my sons kiss of death. Next year, Reno parents, try thinking a little and not loading your basket with Peanut M&Ms, Snickers, Baby Ruth and Reeses. It is totally useless to my child! If not you might end up with eggs in your face from one very angry mom!