In which Ginger wins award for best present ever in the history of ever!

Last year Ginger casually mentioned this thing she was thinking of doing for my birthday. I almost married her right then and there. This year Ginger casually questioned if I would be up for this present again this year as I would be 14 days away from having a baby I BEGAN FLYING THROUGH THE AIR DOING CARTWHEELS WITH EXCITEMENT!

Why you ask?


Well you see two years in a row now Ginger has gotten her and I tickets to FANTASIES IN CHOCOLATE!

Whats that you say, you don't know what Fantasies in Chocolate is?

Well just imagine this, a night of the best possible sex you could ever have, only it isn't sex it is chocolate

UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!

Heres the deal. Every year they rent out one of our convention centers here and ALL of the casinos, schools, pastry shops, and chocolatiers get together and give out chocolate. Even the local dairy gets in on it handing out chocolate milk and chocolate ice cream. This isn't just one sample here or there either. It is unlimited endless supplies of chocolate, pastries and candies. UNLIMITED PEOPLE! Then if that isn't enough they supply wine, champagne, and other tasty mixed drinks. They also have a pasta bar, a cheese and cracker stand, sushi and so on, so you don't get all chocolated out! To give you an idea of what I mean by chocolate, picture all those fancy things they serve on the food network chocolate competitions and that is what I will be spending my entire Friday night eating! Last year we even figured out we can put a bag in our purse and take home more candy for our family! So basically I will be spending my night with the likes of this...

Now can any of you tell me of a better birthday present ever!!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention being able to enjoy this while 8 months pregnant. Codi is going to have the best night ever!!!!!!!

Went to the doctor

Yesterday was my weekly check up. I'll save the scary part for the end. First did I already brag that I didn't have to have the strep test because I'm having a C-section? Ha ha in your face suckers! Anyway no change. I denied to be examined because so far this kid is still so far up in my ribs and no where near dropping down, I really saw no reason to have some fingers all up in me just to hear SHANNON YOUR BABY WILL NEVER DROP AND YOU WILL NEVER EVER EVER DILATE EVER!

*Little side note, my mom is furious FURIOUS about this since she labored with me for almost 30 hours before being knocked out and given a C-section. She really gets bent that I will have two kids and never experience a moment of labor. This is why each time I come back from the doctors she whines that I still haven't dilated and this is bullshit and how come she got the shit end of the stick and I'm just skipping along through this birthing thing.

Anywho he measured me and squished my belly some. Then he laughed at me when I asked if my colostrum would be ready for Codi if he was nine days early. He gently reminded me that the colostrum comes when the baby comes. Then I freaked out about Codi being big enough if he was 9 days early. He laughed and said well let me put it this way, if you went into labor today I wouldn't stop you, so I think nine days is fine.

We discussed my new car for a bit and how I can't park for shit, which means I hunt out the straight on parking spaces. Then he said okay I'll see you in a week and then we will have a birthday.

COME AGAIN!

What now?

Did he just say I only have one more appointment until I have a baby? Oh gosh someone bring me a paper bag, I think I'm going to do that hyperventilating thing!!!!!!!!!!!

So I go to the desk and she say, "Your next appointment really isn't even an appointment, its a pre-op so technically this was your last appointment!"

Quick someone get me a chair and a pint of Ben and Jerry's I think I'm going to pass out!

Do you mean to tell me I just had my last appointment and I didn't even have to shave for it?

So this means 15 days until I have a baby. This means that tomorrow I go out with Ginger for my last hurrah (I will discuss this later, she gets me the worlds best birthday present ever on the planet every yeah) and then it will be exactly two weeks until I have a baby.

This means that next Friday is my last Friday as a mom of one kid. It means that I only have 15 more days of no sleep from a pregnant belly and then 15 months of no sleep from a kid.

HOLY SHIT PEOPLE WE ARE IN CRISIS MODE NOW!!!!!!! I MUST FIND SOMETHING TO CLEAN AND FAST! I'll get on that as soon as I finish that Ben and Jerry's!

Trick or treat...most parents deserve to get their cars egged!

Brandon was either a monster, a dragon or a dinosaur, we really still aren't sure!
Walking up to trick or treat GG (great grandma) This also counts as your belly shot for the week. I told everyone I dressed as a pumpkin!

Going to ring the doorbell

Running around like a mad man

He quickly learned that saying trit or treat got him candy.

Thank you GG

This is the famous bunny golf cart. Some of you received an email talking about this. Yes my mom is a burner (aka someone who goes to burning man) and she converted her golf cart into a permanent bunny rabbit. Wait it gets better.

He lights up! My dad drove Brandon and I all over the neighborhood to trick or treat. People were soooo jealous they didn't have a giant bunny on wheels to trick or treat in!

Checking out all his loot.

Not much left after we pulled out everything with peanut products.

THAT IS THE REASON PARENTS SHOULD HAVE THEIR FUCKING HOUSES EGGED! You would think will all of the news going around about NO PEANUT PRODUCTS IN SCHOOL people would be smart enough not to hand out baskets full of nothing but peanut products. I had to take away at least 20 things out of his basket because it would have killed him if he ate it. Do you know how sad it was sitting there taking away my sons candy. I just can't believe that more emphasis hasn't been placed on NOT PUTTING DEADLY CANDY IN KIDS BASKETS!!!!!!! I swear each time someone dropped a Reeses or a Snickers in his basket I wanted to egg them right in the face! And he was to little to know any better so when he reached in to grab he didn't know he shouldn't grab a Baby Ruth, he just picked something! Soooo frustrating, because I can't even eat the stuff I had to take from him since I refuse to possibly be my sons kiss of death. Next year, Reno parents, try thinking a little and not loading your basket with Peanut M&Ms, Snickers, Baby Ruth and Reeses. It is totally useless to my child! If not you might end up with eggs in your face from one very angry mom!

DEAR SWISTLE

Dark chocolate with mint creme center. Mint Truffle Kisses!!!!!!!

LOOK WHAT I FOUND AT THE STORE TONIGHT....MMMMMMMMMMMMM I'M THINKING BROWNIES OR COOKIES OR SOMETHING


But wait theres more

HOT COCOA KISSES!!!!

Well shit!

THE BOXER BRIEFS MAKE IT SEEM MORE MANLY

Lets all try and participate in this one!

As you all know in 17 short days I will be checking into the hospital to have a baby...

AAAAAAAHHHHHFHBKGYFGHBKJHUGTFXXHBLU BREATH IN BREATH OUT BREATH IN BREATH OUT

Sorry had to take a moment to fuuuuhreak out that I'm having a second child in 17 days. Any way I'm also participating in NABLOPOMO which means I'm supposed to post every day in November. Soooo since I don't know if I will have wi-fi in the hospital room I've decided to open my blog up to guest bloggers for exactly 3 days. How it works is I will add your email to my guests on here and you will be able to sign in and blog on here for one of the three days. So I'm holding a contest and if anyone actually participates then the top three winners will get to post. I hesitate to open this up to Ginger, Lisa or Katie, because if they were smart they would use their guest post to tell really embarrassing stories of me! But alas I open it up to all of you.

So now the contest. Please submit to me your favorite, or funniest drunken story. What I mean is, tell me about the time you fell face first in the street or down the stairs (Lisa), or danced naked, or got a tattoo, or got married, or called your ex boyfriend crying. Anything. I just want to hear the funniest, saddest or most pathetic thing you ever did while drunk. The people who make me laugh the hardest will win.

As for the guest post you can post anything. Think of my blog as your blog, only on my blog you can cuss and talk a lot about sex and shit. Sooo, this could actually be a whole new adventure for some of you more demure bloggers out there, getting the chance to cuss and shout wildly online!

Please leave your story in a comment on this post!

WHICH ONE OF THESE THINGS DOESN'T BELONG???

My sons new favorite habit....Playing under my bathroom sink. This is why there are currently about 13 panty liners in odd places of my house.

Want some proof!

This is what you see if you walk in my house right now.

My name is shannon and I have a problem

SOME OF MY COLLECTION! I WAS INSPIRED BY PATTY AND HER ADDICTION TO SHARE MINE WITH YOU!
CURRENT UNUSED PURSES

THIS IS MY LIMITED EDITION COACH TOTE BAG. CAN YOU TELL I TAKE GREAT CARE OF IT, IT IS ALLLL MUSHED UP. I BARELY EVER USE THIS ONE!

THIS IS MY LIMITED EDITION COACH SATCHEL. I USE THIS ONE WHEN I WEAR A DRESS. MY HUSBAND GOT IT FOR ONE OF MY BIRTHDAYS

THIS IS MY LIMITED EDITION COACH BUCKET BAG. I HEART THIS BAG. IT IS MY OLD FALL BACK FAVORITE, I THINK I WILL USE IT UNTIL IT FALLS APART.

THIS IS MY MATCHING WALLET THINGY MAYBE ITS CALLED A WRISTLET

MY MATCHING SWING PACK. I GOT THIS WHEN I GOT MARRIED SO I HAD A COACH TO TAKE ON MY HONEYMOON (MY MOM IS A GOOD THINKER)

MY CURRENT COACH. I LOOOOVE THIS PURSE. IT IS THE FIRST DAMN PURSE THEY MADE WITH A FUCKING ACROSS THE BODY STRAP. I COMPLAINED TO THEM IN WRITING FOR YEARS FOR NOT HAVING ONE OF THESE. BEING A MOM I NEEDED A DAMN PURSE THAT WENT OVER MY BODY SO I COULD CARRY MY KID AND MY PURSE. I HAVE TINY SHOULDERS SO OTHER PURSES FALL OFF MY SHOULDER!

MY NEWEST WRISTLET THAT MATCHES MY PURSE. HOLDS MY CHAPSTICK

ONE OF MY TWO MINI SKINNYS, BRANDON HAS RUN OFF WITH THE SECOND ONE, HE THINKS IT IS HIS, THIS HOLDS MY BUSINESS CARDS

THIS IS MY COACH 4X7 AGENDA. THIS IS FOR SALE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THE NEED FOR IT WAS REPLACED WHEN I GOT MY NEW SIDEKICK 3 PHONE WHICH DID WAY MORE THEN THIS THING.

MY STUPID DOONEY THAT I BOUGHT IN A MOMENT OF WEEKNESS THINKING I COULD EVER STRAY FROM COACH...THIS IS FOR SALE.


MY BELOVED KATE SPADE WALLET. IT HOLDS MY DEBIT CARD, CREDIT CARD, ID AND SOME CASH. THIS IS MY MOST FAVORITE PIECE BECAUSE IT JUST FITS RIGHT IN MY PANTS POCKET WHEN I GO OUT OR AM IN A HURRY.

MY DOONEY CHANGE PURSE


AND MY LAMB HIP PACK



SEEEEEEE I HAVE A PROBLEM PEOPLE. AND THERE ARE ABOUT 3 MORE BAGS ON THE COACH SITE I AM CONVINCED I NEED!

Old and Ragged

There is something about having your birthday when you are 8.5 months pregnant that makes you feel really old. Not because you are about to be a parent but because your body truly feels like it is about to fail you. I can't sleep, my back hurts, my knees hurt, my head hurts, my body is swollen, I'm drooling more then usual.

AND I'M ONLY 26

I can't wait for 40!

BIg changes in diaper bag land

I've hesitated to discuss this much as it seems like whenever people talk about stuff like this, or sleeping everything they said immediately turns to shit and they regret it.

Anyway you will all remember when I finally settled on a bag I stopped off at Target to purchase a couple goodies to go inside and one of them was this Spark by Skip Hop Changing Wallet.


You will remember I thought I was oh so clever because I could put Brandons diapers on one side, Codi's on the other and squish the wipes between it then close it up and wala a great space saver in my diaper bag, and an easy way to grab out the diapers if I didn't want to tote in the whole bag.

Well people big changes have happened!!!! I have made the decision (I am shaking with nervousness as I write this) to remove Brandon's diapers from my diaper bag and instead place the wipes in the little netted area thus making a nice little changing station for Codi. Then if you remember I spoke about having one extra pocket left inside. WELL I decided to use that pocket to store undies for Brandon. YOU READ RIGHT THERE ARE NO DIAPERS FOR BRANDON IN MY DIAPER BAG! I was terrified to make this decision because to me it felt like I was just asking for him to become un=potty trained! So what I did was put extra undies in my bad and an extra pair of sweats for him in case we have an accident. There are actually two diapers for him behind the seat of my car in case of long trips or who knows what (like an emergency poop but no acceptable toilet around).

Now my little Skip hop bag is totally awesome and far more functional. I just hope that publishing that my two year old only wears a pull up at night to bed and not at any other time isn't going to mean that he will suddenly start peeing all over himself and taking dumps on my carpet.

We had taken a bit of hiatus from potty training for a while when he was sick and my husband didn't think he was old enough to train. But we went full blast again a couple weeks ago and so far so good. I hope it works out. We have had a few poopoo accidents but I fully think that is to be expected when he is so newly trained! So wish me luck!

I also wanted to take a second to direct you all to the Spark by Skip Hop brand at Target. The prices are ridiculously affordable and the quality is amazing.

They offer the changing wallet, which I think is genius and the diaper bag is also awesome and as far as I can see it is just as awesome as their overpriced Skip Hop bag on their website. You can buy both of these items for less then the price of a regular Skip Hop bag. So go now to Target, run, fon't walk and pick one up now!