I hate being a pushover

I don't understand myself. Why am I such a pushover. Today a family member really really pissed me off and instead of just telling her to stop what she was doing I said it was fine. Here is the story. I have this family member who somehow always seems to do the exact same thing as me, usually after me and then somehow the rest of the family asks why it is I copy her so much. It drives me insane. So with Christmas around the corner and most of the family deciding they were going to bake I went through great pains to keep quite what I was making this year so no one could copy me. This person told me in advance what they were making so I was 100% sure what I made wouldn't be even sort of the same. Suddenly today she informs me she is making the exact same thing as me. I found the idea on a favorite website of mine and I guess it is my own damn fault that I said I found my idea from that place. She was all "O I never would have thought to look there for recipes" and I knew I was screwed. I just kept hoping maybe she wouldn't pick what I did but as always she did. Now I'm going to hear that I copied her and then I'll hear that she probably did it better. So why didn't I just say don't make that? She has told me plenty of times what not to do. But still I'm so nice I just said fine whatever I'll deal with it. I am furious. I am so tired of being one upped or copied. Its every little thing. Hair styles, house decorating and so on. It gets so old. I know people say that its the sincerest form of flattery but I'm just over it.

How my son made me cry last night

Brandon has never been big on sucking on things. He used a pacifier maybe 4 times and drank from a bottle probably less then 10 times. He was always nursed and that was how we both liked it. Lately he has started playing and then just laying down and going to sleep. So last night you can imagine my shock when he laid down next to the Christmas tree and started sucking on the beads that were sewn onto my tree skirt. It was sooo sad. All the sudden I realized that maybe he wasn't ready to be done nursing and now I just feel like a huge jerk. I can't believe that he was looking for that comfort from anyone but me. I didn't know how to feel about it. It wasn't until the middle of the night when he was fussing and practically laying right on top of me to sleep that I realized maybe that is the problem. Maybe his restlessness is due to lack of comfort. I feel so bad now.

Reasons my husband makes me swoon part 2

It is so small but I love when my husband used to put his last name on my stuff when he would take it to work. For example I used to have this little portable radio and he would pack it to work with him since his truck didn't have a stereo in it. This was way before we were married and one day I noticed my stereo said Mateo on it. I giggled and thought it was funny. Then he started taking my coveted Starbucks coffee mugs to work with him. One day I noticed that my favorite mug had MATEO written in his perfect penmanship on the back. I guess I never really thought much about it again until last week when I was drinking coffee and noticed the MATEO written in little letters on my mug. I stopped in my tracks and thought wow thats my name now. Then I realized that little silly things like that would be the things that would get me if I ever lost my husband. Not because its his name but because I can imagine the moment he was in when he wrote on it. I can see him all bundled up in his neon colored work shirt sitting in his work truck. He would pull out the trusty Sharpie he always has in his pocket and ever so carefully spell out the letters of his name. Then I can see him putting back the Sharpie and going back to his hard day at work. Something that small would surely send me reeling if he was ever gone. The odd thing is now even though he isn't gone it still gets me when I see it. I never remember which mug its on before I grab it. I don't even think about it at all until its sitting there on my desk and that tiny little MATEO looks at me. Thats when I think of everything he does at work all day for us. That little name has such a huge meaning for me. He gets up so early and works in bad weather all day just to make life easy for me and my son. I can't wait till I come across more silly little things he has labeled. But for now this silly little coffee mug totally eases the craziness in my heart today.

Why I want to pelt my Rite Aid pharmacist with oranges

Brandon has a sinus infection. Actually Brandon has had a sinus infection for over two weeks now but everyone thought I was crazy. The biggest sign I guess was that he has had the worst stink mouth ever. I actually called his doctor last week and asked the nurse about this and she informed me that it was probably because he had something stuck up his nose. The following are her instructions!
Put saline drops up his nose. Wait a second then plug one side of his nose and blow hard in his mouth till air comes out the other side of his nose. Repeat on other side and see if anything pops out.
So I do this. First of all can any of you moms imagine actually trying to do this to your child with out getting, punched, kicked and bitten in that order? The stink went away for a couple days and came back. So after two and a half weeks of whining, crying , super annoying baby I decide we are going to visit the doctor. He takes one look at Brandons nose and throat and says DUH SINUS INFECTION. Then he says...

"THE STINKY MOUTH SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOUR FIRST SIGN!" WHAT!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me I called your nurse and told her that. At this point he must have wanted me to bomb his whole entire office then rebuild it and bomb it again. Oh wait he then threw in that Brandon has two molars coming in and that might also be a source of some of the fussiness. NO SHIT SHERLOCK, YOU DON'T SAY.

So he finally prescribes us some amoxicillin and says to also give Brandon Motrin and Orajel as needed. Oh guess what he even told me the correct dosage of Motrin so rather then under dosing my son and wondering why on earth THE-FUCKING-MOTRIN-WORKS-FOR-EVERY-KID-BUT-MINE I can finally give it to him and watch it work. The doctor sends me off with a prescription for, fluoride, the amoxicillin and some more epi pens. I joyously run off to Rite Aid to fill the prescriptions and am told she can't read the doctors writing she will call him and call me later. Fine whatever whore. Sorry but at this point I'm a little irritated. Finally stupid Rite Aid lady calls and says I can come pick up all of my goodies. I go and the the pharmacist informs the that its all mixed up and ready to go. WHAT!!!! I don't even get to choose a flavor? NOOOOOOOOO he makes my sons medicing ORANGE flavor. ORANGE people. My son hates orange. Now in order to get my son who usually delights in taking his berry flavor motrin and Mylecon and his peach flavor flouirde refuses to take his medicine. This means I have to use one arm to hold his legs one arm to hold his arms, one hand to hold his head one hand to pry open his mouth and grab the medicine dropper out of my own mouth and try to get it all in before he over powers me and wiggles away. This leaves me and my son covered in milky white medicine and half of it still in the dropper. I end up having to try and pry open even the side of his mouth and squirt it in as fast as I can. The other night I was so desperate I even tried mixing in some strawberry milk powder. No tricking this kid. He took off running and tried to hide from me. A few minutes ago when I tried to give it to him he sat down on his little truck and tried rolling away from me.
THIS IS WHY I WANT TO PELT MY RITE AID PHARMACIST WITH ORANGES ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Fart fart fart fart.

I'm married. Duh you know that right, of course you do. One thing I didn't know about marriage was the constant little battles over hilarious things I would have every day. This weekend was the battle of the fart. First let me tell you something my husband said to me one day, "The grossest thing a girl could do in front of me is fart." So to this day I have never farted in front of my husband. Thats not true, I did it once on a walk and said excuse me and he said that I should have pretended like it was my shoe squeaking and not admit it. Anyway this being said Mr. Don't Fart in Front of Me farts in front of me about 20 times a day. After a while it gets a little obnoxious. Now I understand he has to do this but I've tried to implement rules. Such as:
No farting in:
The kitchen, dining room, bed or when I'm trapped in the car.
Rob however thinks I am being extremely mean by limiting the places he can suffocate me with gas. I always tell him that one of these days I'm just going to fart right back but I think we both know I'm not brave enough to do this at all. I need to come up with something equally annoying I can do to him. I mean really am I being that big of a brat asking him to not fart at the dining room table. Or like yesterday. We are driving and he farts not once not twice but four times while I'm trapped in the car. To make things worse its too cold outside so I can't roll down the window. So what does he do? He pulls out a can of aerosol spray and fumigates the entire inside of the car so now I'm choking on vanilla and fart smell.

So to all of my married friends, aside from know I soooo shouldn't have posted a blog about my husbands flatulence what is a girl to do? Do I just suck it up and let out a big one in front of him? And if I do what if it smells and the rest of our lives every time he looks at me he remembers that time I farted? I really can't come up with anything else to do besides implement some sort of punishment for farting in off limit areas. What kind of punishment can I even implement? No chicken for a week if you fart in my kitchen? Hmmm that might just work.

Why Can't husbands realize that sometimes moms are very bored? ? ?

As you know from reading this blog I watch the movie Incredibles A LOT. Well once you have seen something about 48 times you begin looking for hidden messages in the movie. So I start concentrating really hard on Syndromes hair and all the sudden I figure it all out. I'm so happy and I wait for Rob to get home.

Shannon: Babe guess what I figured out

Rob: Huh

Shannon: That Syndromes hair sticks up all funny from static electricity because he is all into electricity

Rob: No its probably just a cool hairstyle

Shannon: (gives super duper evil eyes) why babe, why can't it just be that i'm right, I have spent all day staring at this guy can't I just be right please

Rob: Yes dear I"m sure it is all because of the electricity.

NEED ADVICE BADLY

Okay so what do I do in this situation. My husbands friend who is married to my friend was out being really dumb and saying inappropriate things to women. My husband has forbidden me to tell my friend but I think she deserves to know because they are already having some problems. What do I do? Do I piss of my husband and stick up for my friend or do I screw my friend and let her stay somewhere bad?

And that is a WHAT exactly? ?

Isn't it funny how kids manage to find every single piece of forgotten discarded petrified food ever lost. Today Brandon found what I think is either a french fry or a piece of string cheese. I say THINK because I'm not quite sure. All I know is he found it hiding under his slide and after squishing it a few times he went to put it in his mouth. I took it away so he did the most logical thing he could. He went running around the office in search of something else gross to eat. He succeeded. He found what at first i thought was an old tomato. NOPE in fact it was a brown carrot. The carrot was brown because yesterday Brandon was rolling it around on the floor and then licking it (I was not present for this I only heard about it, I would have crapped myself at the utter grossness of it.) I made him give up the carrot and he stomped away in anger and went and threw all of his toy buckets of their toy shelf in protest. SIGH!

Working mom = %#$@

Man. Let me tell you. I am a full time working mom. I have the so called luxury of bringing my son to work. Although I'm sure most of you would think this is great. It was. Until he could walk. Then after he could walk it was horrible. He refiles all of my papers, shreds things with out using a shredder, clear my desk in 2 seconds flat and so on. That isn't even what drives me nuts about work. What bugs me the most are the little things.
Example.
Good morning Weakland's Heating & Air Shannon Speaking.
Hi (insert assenine name here) Shelia, shelly, jenna, janna, sharon, and so on.
Other example.
Shannon come here. So I run into the other office. "Can you get this phone number for me?" I could have sworn that the person asking me this was sitting right in front of their very own computer with all necessary numbers in it.
Next example
I have a girl in my office whose job is to file all the invoices I give her which I post at least ever two days. She also makes out the bank deposit and staples together purchases so I can post them and give them to her to file with the invoices. Daily she complains. She gets mad if I post invoices every day because then her box is never empty. So I begin posting every 3 days and she flips out that now I'm causing her to get backed up and can I please post daily. I go back to posting daily and yesterday she had the nerve to yell at me because I didn't post until noon since I was doing other things. So I end up having to take the invoices out of her box and putting them in a pile on my desk so that she can as she says "look at an empty box on her desk for a day and feel relaxed"! ! ! ! ! ! ! EXCUSE ME. It makes me nuts. I can't win people. Then as if this isn't bad enough she says that I need to put chocolate on top of the invoices to make her less annoyed when I do give them to her.
Yet another example of why I hate stupid ass employees
I love when people are part time. They choose their schedule. They decide they only want to work two days a week and be lazy. But then they whine and complain and cry that they are broke. WELL there are 5 days of work here for you but you choose to do three. This isn't my problem people. Shut up! Gosh if you don't want to work DON'T but don't come to work and complain about not working.
Sorry just needed to do a little venting there. I can't type much I'm at work and today is that girls day off so I need to rush to do as much as I can and make sure all of her boxes are full for Monday so she doesn't yell that I set her back. Although I'm sure that she will yell that I put to much in her boxes. So maybe I should just color pictures and pretend to work.

Exactly how many "my baby is so big now, woe is me" posts can one mom post?

This will be my 307th post about how big my little boy is now. I was sitting at work doing something on the computer when this pops up in the background on my screen.

Mannnnnnnn. Now I have to get all sad and think of how little my baby IS NOT and this makes me open up my iPhoto and I come up with all of these. Geeeeeze
First Bath

First day home

Second day home

Looking cute

Deep thought about being on his belly

Again being cute